Meetings before Marriage, Zakat to a Brother, Zakat to Pay off Business Loan, False Oath on the Quran, Halala

Q 1. After engagement me and my fiance both used to go out and sometimes we used to hold hands and kiss each other. We had no sexual relations. Now we both are happily married. Someone told us that what we did during the period of our engagement was Haram and so our Nikah is not valid. We are told that we had to repent (tawbah) and then renew our Nikah. Is this correct? Please explain. We both are very much disturbed.

A 1. Engaged couples are not husband and wife to each other and it is indeed Haram for them to be alone, to touch or kiss each other. They can meet in the presence of others and can talk to each other, but any intimate physical contact between them is not permissible, because the Nikah has not yet taken place. What you did before Nikah was wrong and you both should ask for Allah’s forgiveness. However you marriage is valid and you do not have to renew your Nikah. May Allah bless you with long, happy and healthy life and keep you on the right path. Ameen.

Q 2. One of my brothers in Pakistan is very poor. He has a job but his income is not enough to provide for his family. Am I allowed to help him with Zakat money? Do I have to tell him that I am helping him from my Zakat?

A 2. A person is not allowed to give his Zakat money to his wife, children or parents. The reason is that it is a person’s duty to take care of them financially. First one has to provide for them and then if any money is left that makes Zakat obligatory on that person then he should give Zakat. However, you brother is not your dependant and whatever help you give him is a great act of goodness but it is not obligatory on you. You are allowed to help him from the Zakat, if he is need. It is better to help with Zakat first your own kith and kin before giving to any one else. The Prophet -peace be upon him- said, “The charity to a poor person is a charity, but charity to a relative is a charity and a silah (an act of strengthening the tie of kinship)” (al-Tirmidhi 594)

You do not have to tell your brother that the financial help that you are giving him is from Zakat. But if you are helping him from the Zakat funds then you must make the intention of Zakat.

Q 3. I know a brother who bought a small business with some loan to maintain himself and his family. He is now unable to pay off his loan. Can he receive Zakat to pay off his business loan?

A 3. He is allowed to receive Zakat to pay off his business loans under the following conditions:


This is his only business and he has no other source of income.

He is unable to pay his loan from the income of this business or from any other source.

He is in need of this business to take care of himself and his family and he may lose it if he does not pay the loan on time.

But if he has some other sources of income that are sufficient for his needs, then he is not allowed to take Zakat.
Q 4. My friend wanted me to ask what could be done to obtain forgiveness after swearing a partially false statement on the Qur’an. She has prayed and apologized for it. She felt being forced, so she did it. Also, what can a person do if she is being pressured to swear on the Qur’an and she doesn’t want to because it is a trivial matter or it isn’t exactly true? Please help. (Rashida Ahsan)

A 4. It is Haram and a great sin to take a false oath or to swear falsely on the Qur’an. Your friend should make Tawbah and ask Allah’s forgiveness. She should also make a kaffarah for the oath. She should feed ten poor persons for one day. Or she should fast for three days, if she cannot feed the poor. Allah says in the Qur’an, “Allah will not call you to account for what is futile in your oaths, but He will call you to account for your deliberate oaths: for expiation, feed ten indigent persons, on a scale of the average for the food of your families; or clothe them; or give a slave his freedom. If that is beyond your means, fast for three days. That is the expiation for the oaths you have sworn. But keep to your oaths. Thus does Allah make clear to you His Signs, that you may be grateful. (al-Ma’idah 5:89)

Q 5. When there is a divorce and the spouses later want to rejoin, the woman has to marry another man and get a divorce and then she can re-unite with the first husband. The logic in the woman’s “iddat” is understandable and explicable. What I have not been able to understand is the first restriction. Why is it for women only? (Mrs. Habiba Razvi)

A 5. You are referring to the rule of irrevocable divorce (talaq mughallaz). A man is allowed to divorce his wife only two times. After each divorce he is allowed to reconcile with her and revoke his divorce within the ‘’iddah period. But if he divorced her third time, then he cannot revoke the third divorce. Now the woman cannot be his wife again, unless she marries another person who out of his own will divorces her and then if she wants to go back to her first husband she can do so. Allah says in the Qur’an:

“A divorce is only permissible twice: after that, the parties should either hold together on equitable terms, or separate with kindness… So if a husband divorces his wife (irrevocably), he cannot, after that, remarry her until after she has married another husband and he has divorced her. In that case there is no blame on either of them if they reunite, provided they feel that they can keep the limits ordained by Allah. Such are the limits ordained by Allah, which He makes plain to those who understand. (al-Baqarah 2:229-230)

Actually this rule is for the benefit of women whose husbands keep divorcing them and taking them back. Such men make the life of their wives miserable. The poor wives do not know where they belong. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala in His mercy put this restriction on men that they cannot divorce their wives and take them back more than two times. If they do it third time, then they have no right to resume conjugal relations with their wives. Their wives would be separated from them for ever and their coming back to them would become very difficult, if not impossible.

It is Haram to play with this rule and after the third divorce look for a person who can make the wife Halal for her previous husband. The Prophet -peace be upon him- mentioned that Allah curses those who marry a woman for the sake of Halalah, or a person who ask someone to do this for his wife. (see Abu Da’ud, 1778) The dishonor of a woman is in deliberate Halalah. It is not in the rule given by Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. The rule of Allah is to enhance the honor of the wife and to make third divorce more difficult for a careless and stubborn husband.