One word launched a section of the people on earth who were illiterate and disunited to become the greatest intellectuals in all endeavors of human knowledge and paved the way for European Renaissance. What was that magical word?
That word was "Iqra" (“read”) which was the first Divine Word revealed to the Prophet of Islam (peace be upon him) in the Cave of’ Hera on the night of Lailatul Qadr, about the 27th night of’ Ramadhan in 610 CE. The first five verses that revealed were:
1. Read: In the name of thy Lord who created.
2. Created man from a clot.
3. Read: And thy Lord is the most Bounteous,
4. Who taught by the pen,
5. Taught man that which he knew not.
Qur’an, The Clot, 96: 1- 5.
This Divine injunction gave the Muslims learning and erudition an elevated position in the Islamic Shari'ah. Acting on this Divine injunction the followers of Islam attained glories both religious and secular.
With this inspiration the Muslims focused their attention on discovering the secrets of nature and mysteries of the earth and heavens in the light of’ Qur’anic tenets. The attentiveness to these Qur’anic tenets made them leaders of the scientific thought.
It is imperative for Muslims to achieve a place of respect and honor in the world and excellence in the fields of learning and scholarship and to hold scholars in high esteem and to love them. It is the birthright of every Muslim and Muslimah to make advancements in the fields of learning. To accomplish this one requires self-confidence, purity of thought, love of our brothers and sisters, clean and clear conscience, Jihad (continuous struggle) and honorable deeds.
ISLAMIC MEDICINE
What is TIBB-E- ISLAMI or Islamic Medicine? Some define it as the medicine practiced by the eminent Muslim physicians during the glorious days of Islamic Medicine. To the general public it means Unani Medicine. Some even think of it as medical treatment by herbs, seeds, honey or other natural ingredients. Some want to including the healing power of the Qur’an, as QST or Qur’an stimulating system.
Modern medicine or Allopathic medicine caters to the body and mind and neglects the spirit. To me mind is part of the body. The definition of mind is it is a function of’ the brain. The Qur’an mentions both the Nafs and Ruh. The word Nafs is understood as soul, self, consciousness, I, ego, etc. whereas the word Ruh is understood as the spirit. After extensive research I have concluded that Ruh means Energy or more specifically Life Energy. When the Life Energy is gone then the life is gone. So the correct definition of Islamic Medicine then will mean it is the Medicine whose approach is all-embracing and it should cater to the body and the spirit. It, thus, enjoys a unique privilege over modern medicine, which lacks this property. The most comprehensive definition of Islamic Medicine is given by Dr. Ahmed El-Kadi (1):
"Although Islamic Medicine may include, among many others, all the modalities of modern medicine, it differs from modern medicine in that it fulfills all the following six criteria: It is excellent and leading among other brands of the healing arts. It is a medicine with faith and Divine ethics. It is guided and oriented. It is comprehensive, paying attention to body and spirit, to the individual and the society. It is universal, utilizing all useful resources, and offering its services to all mankind. And last, but not least, it is scientific.
While modern medicine proclaims these criteria, i.e. to be excellent, ethical, oriented, comprehensive, universal and scientific, it has failed to fulfill any of them. The big question is: Can Islamic Medicine overcome all the problems of modern medicine, and can it provide its missing ingredients? The answer is a confident "yes". In all the problem areas of modern medicine listed in this paper, the deficiencies are either lack of ethical and moral guidance, lack of standardized value system, disregard of certain restrictive or instructive rules related to ingested materials, or disregard of certain hygienic and social guidelines governing human relations and social life. These missing items, are the very one abundantly provided by Islamic teachings.
The detailed elaboration on the correlation between various Islamic teachings and the course or development of various diseases is beyond the scope of this paper and will be the subject of separate investigations. The combination of Islamic teachings and the existing technological advances, which are fully supported by the Islamic teachings, produces a unique blend of healing arts which qualifies as Islamic medicine, a medicine which is most up-to-date and progressive while in full harmony with divine teachings and guidance. The basic Islamic teaching asserting that there is a cure for every illness (and it is up to us to find it) is an unbeatable stimulus for study and research towards unparalleled progress and achievement. The establishment of such a healing art entails the total reevaluation and revision of all existing basic and clinical sciences. In addition to providing the new medical foundation, the revised texts and restructured curricula will reflect the link between the creator and His creation thus reinforcing the concept of oneness of God (Tawheed) and automatically improving the faith of the student through his own professional study. These texts and curricula will also reflect the oneness of creation by showing how the various systems of animated and non animated creatures follow very much the same laws of nature, or better stated, laws of God, thus broadening the horizon of the student which will in turn make him a better scientist and a better person. It will be a monumental task to establish, but a task worth undertaking."
SEEKING KNOWLEDGE
For a Muslim seeking and learning knowledge is very essential and this could be achieved by both inductive and empirical methods. The Qur’an says:
Are those equal, those who know and those who do not know (39: 9)
Do they see nothing in the Government of the heavens and the earth and all that God
has created? (7: 185)
The Prophet (PBUH) said some inspiring words:
· Seeking knowledge is an obligation to every Muslim.
· A true scientist is one who applies knowledge to his work.
· The superiority of the scholar to the worshipper is like my superiority over the humblest of you.
He shunned at magical-practice, priesthood and idolatry and asked the people to seek medical treatment based on medical science; and he said:
Oh, servants of God, seek for medical treatment, God has put a remedy for every malady, clear to whoever knows it and unclear to whoever does not know it.
The foregoing words inspired the Muslims who pursued scientific research and that led them to their great achievements and they served as a lighthouse to the whole world for many centuries. These achievements in all branches of knowledge formed the foundation of the contemporary scientific awakening.
Goals of the Institute of Islamic Medicine
The First International Conference of Islamic Medicine was held in Kuwait from January 12 -16, 1981 (1401 A.H) and five hundred papers were presented under the following sections:
1. The search for our scholarly heritage in medicine; or, the history of’ our medical heritage.
2. Corresponding elements between Tibb and allopathy and the study of subjects occurring as common factors between Islamic Medicine and modern medicine,
3. Research investigation, and
4. The principles of Tibb and the correlation of ethics with the Islamic Shari'ah.
The International Institute of Islamic Medicine (IIIM) should have the following aims and objectives (2):
1. Reviving the Islamic medical sciences in the domains of heritage, scientific research, verification and applied studies.
2. Encouraging the scholars in the field of Islamic medicine by providing them with the necessary facilities to enable them in their researches, strengthening the link between them, and helping them to raise the standard of health.
3. Encouraging the establishment of national organizations with the same objectives all over the world and providing them with the necessary support to fulfill their missions successfully.
4. Working to develop educational curricula particularly in the domain of medicine, in an effective system which aims at leading the Muslim youth to know about their heritage and acquainting them with the values on which Islamic culture is based. Also, acquainting them with their true religion and its tolerant Shari'ah.
5. Working to unify the scientific and ethical Islamic concepts of the medical profession.
MEDICAL ETHICS
The Kuwait Conference declared the following Ethics of Medicine in the light of’ Islamic Constitution (3):
ISLAMIC CODE OF MEDICAL ETHICS
1. Definition of Medical Profession
2. Characterization of Medical Practitioner
3. Relation between Physician and Physician
4. Relationship between Physician and patient
5. Professional Secrecy
6. Physician’s duties in the time of war
7. The Sanctity of Human Life
8. Responsibility and Liability
9. Physician and Society
10. Physician and Biomed - Technological advances
11. Medical Education
12. Oath of the Muslim Physician
The basic religious criteria protecting the Physician are:
1. Recognized certification
2. Acceptance of the Physician by his patients
3. Good faith on part of the Physician and sole aim of curing his patient.
4. Absence of unacceptable fault as defined by medical By-Laws.
NSTITUTES OF ISLAMIC MEDICINE IN THE WORLD
KUWAIT
The construction of the Centre for Islamic Medicine constitutes an additional asset to the edifice of health services offered by the State of’ Kuwait. In 1987 the Centre for Islamic Medicine for treatment by medicinal herbs was established. The Centre, inaugurated on 21 February 1987, took four years to construct at a cost of KD 6.5 millions and occupies a total area of nearly 15,500 sq. meters including a Mosque. The Ministry of Public Health pays full attention to the Centre. The building features fine Islamic architecture and art. It consists of two sections. The Centre for Islamic medicine and the Islamic Organization for Medical Sciences occupy the right section. On the left stands Lulwa Alk-Nassar’s mosque on an area of 1,267 sq. meters, with a capacity for 1500 worshippers. The upper floor is reserved for women worshippers. The mosque resembles a museum filled with the finest Islamic art and Architecture.
Both the Centre for Islamic Medicine and the Islamic Organization for Medical Sciences operate within the framework of common objectives for the revival of’ the Islamic medical heritage, fulfilled practically in the Centre through the treatment of’ patients by medicinal herbs, whereas the Organization seeks to revive this heritage through intellectual and informational means.
INDIA/PAKISTAN
The Hamdard Foundation located and operated both in India and Pakistan is doing an excellent job in the cause of Islamic Medicine. Although their work primarily concentrates on Unani Medicinal herbs (botanical herbs), they are modernizing their facilities to cater to Islamic Medicine for the treatment of body and the spirit. The establishment of Madinatul Hikmah or the City of Wisdom in Karachi is a milestone achievement, which is unparalleled in any Muslim country. They have quite modern and impressive facilities with regard to library and research, equipped with the latest high tech equipment of computers, faxes, copying and transmission of information. They have collected invaluable original manuscripts written by Islamic scholars. The credit goes to the late Hakim Mohammed who single handedly achieved all of these.
MALAYSIA
The Islamic Universities in Malaysia are establishing Medical Colleges geared towards Islamic Medicine. This is a great departure from the Medical Colleges in vogue in many Muslim countries. Hope this trend should be a model to other Medical
Colleges, which are in existence and which, will come into existence in the near future, in other Muslim countries.
U.S.A.
There are several Islamic Educational Institutions in USA and Canada. However Institutions of higher leaning are only two: the East-West University and the American Islamic College and both of them are located in Chicago, Illinois. They are still in the embryonic stages of development. There is no Islamic Medical School in America. Unfortunately there is no Muslim Hospital in the North America, although there are several Jewish, Baptist, Presbyterian, Methodist, Catholic, and other denominational Hospitals and Medical Schools in existence in North America. It is high time that Muslims in general and the Muslim physicians in particular to establish Muslim Hospitals and Islamic Medical Schools.
Dr. Ahmed El-Kadi, M.D., has taken a significant first step in establishing the first INSTITUTE OF ISLAMIC MEDICINE in North America in Panama City, Florida. He is also active in Islamic Medicine research and education. He has conducted research in a variety of clinical areas, presented his results at national and international meetings of Muslim physicians. He has also published his work particularly in the Journal of Islamic Medical Association. There is a great potential in p1aces like Long Island, New York and other places in North America for establishing Institutes of Islamic Medicine. It is sincerely hoped that the establishment of’ the INTERNATIONAL INSTITUTE OF ISLAMIC MEDCINE shall be a light-house in guiding and establishing Institutes of Islamic Medicines here in North America and over 60 Muslim Countries in the world.
IIIM (International Institute of Islamic Medicine) is a project of IMA (Islamic Medical Association of North America) dedicated to research and promotion of Islamic Medicine, its rich history, its impact on modern medicine and its applications in contemporary times. Formed by the action of IMA executive Council in February of 1993 the IIIM now functions under the able leadership of eminent Muslim Physicians who have served as Presidents of IMA and have dedicated themselves to this task. The secretariat of IIIM is presently based in Brandon, Florida under the Chairmanship of Dr Husain Nagamia past resident of IMA and past Editor in Chief of JIMA. IIIM sponsors research projects and publications of books on Islamic Medicine. IIIM also sponsors conferences on contemporary and classical issues in Medicine within the context of Islam. IIIM has also collected a large number of posters, illustrations of ancient and modern manuscripts on 'History of Islamic Medicine' these have been exhibited at both the Conferences held in Orlando FL and met with excellent reviews. It is an ongoing project and efforts are made to keep these updated. IIIM conducts International Conferences in different countries and exhibits the rare Islamic medical manuscripts. The conferences were held in USA, UK, and India.
REFERENCES
1. Ahmed El-Kadi, M.D., "What is Islamic Medicine", on line at (www.islamset.com/hip/i_medicine/)
2. The First International Conference of Islamic Medicine Kuwait, 12-16, 1981, MEDICAL TIMES XVI (6): 22-23, June 1981. Published by Hamdard Foundation, Karachi, Pakistan.
3. THE KUWAIT DECLARATION: Ethics of medicine in the light of Islamic Constitution. Medical times XVI (6): 32, June 1981, published by Hamdard Foundation, Karachi, Pakistan.
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Thursday, November 6, 2008
Qur'an and Science on Swine Flesh
Muslims living in the Western countries avoid eating pork and pork products. Because the believers are asked by Allah (SWT) in the Glorious Qur'an to eat of the good things and to avoid eating pork in the following verses:
“0 ye believe! eat of the good things that We have provided for you be grateful to Allah if it is Him ye worship (2:172)
“He hath only forbidden you dead meat and blood and the flesh of swine and that on which any other name hath been invoked besides that of Allah but if one is forced by necessity without wilful disobedience not transgressing due limits then is he guiltless. For Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful.” (2:173)
Commenting on the above verse (2:173), Allama Yusuf Ali says Carrion or dead meat and blood as articles of food would obviously cause disgust to any refined person. So would swine’s flesh where the swine live on offal. Where swine are fed artificially on clean food, the objections remain: (1) that they are filthy animals in other respects, and the flesh of filthy animals taken as food affects the eaten; (2) that swine’s flesh has more fat then muscle-building material; and (3) that it is more liable to disease than other kinds of meat; e.g., trichinosis, characterized by hair-like worms in the muscular tissue. As to food dedicated to idols or false gods, it is obviously unseemly for the Children of Unity to partake of it.”
“Forbidden to you (for food) are: dead meat, blood, the flesh of swine and that on which hath been invoked the name of other than Allah that which hath been killed by strangling or by a violent blow or by a headlong fall or being gored to death; that which hath been (partly) eaten by a wild animal; unless you are able to slaughter it (in due form); that which is sacrificed on stone (alters); (forbidden) also is the division (of meat) raffling with arrows: that is impiety. This day have those who reject faith given up all hope of your religion: yet fear them not but fear Me. This day have I perfected your religion for you completed my favor upon you and have chosen for you Islam as your religion. But if any forced by hunger with no inclination to transgression Allah is indeed Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful (5:3)
Say: "I find not in the Message received by me by inspiration any (meat forbidden to be eaten by one who wishes to eat it unless it be dead meat or blood poured forth or the flesh of swine for it is an abomination of what is impious (meat) on which a name has been invoked other then Allah‘s.” But (even so) if a person is forced by necessity without wilful disobedience nor transgressing due limits thy Lord is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful "(6:145)
The following verse is very profound in the light of modern knowledge:
Those who conceal Allah’s revelations in the Book and purchase for them a miserable profit they swallow into themselves naught but fire; Allah will not address them on the Day of Resurrection nor purify them; grievous will be their penalty. (2:174)
Yusuf Ali comments on the above verse as follows: “They eat nothing but fire into their bellies” is a literal translation that produces an effect of rude inelegance which is not in the Arabic words. Even in the matter of food and drinks, the mission of Islam is to avoid the extremes of lawlessness on the one hand and extreme formalism on the other. It has laid down a few simply and very reasonable rules. Their infraction causes loss of health or physical powers in any case. But if there is further a spirit of subjective rebellion or fraud-passing off in the name of religion something which is far from the purpose - the consequences become also moral and spiritual. Then it becomes a sin against Faith and Spirit. Continuing the physical simile, we actually swallow fire into ourselves. Imagine the torments which we should have if we swallowed fire into our physical body! They would be infinitely worse in our spiritual state, and they would go on to the Day of Resurrection, when we shall be deprived even of the words which the judge speaks to a reasonable culprit, and we shall certainly not win His Grace and Mercy.
I am stunned by the words “They eat nothing but fire into their bellies.” One can understand these words after reading the following true story.
A Young Victim
A beautiful but diabetic 20 year old Christian girl was wheeled towards an operating room one spring afternoon in May 1991 in Yale-New Haven Hospital emergency room in Connecticut. Today she is alive and does not know whether the credit goes to the wonders of modern scientific medicine or the spiritual intercession of her long-dead father. After recovery her doctors told her never to eat pork again.
Her complaint was that her abdomen was aching and her arms and legs became numb. Her abdomen severely hurt, like a tight muscle spasm and everything was squeezed together.
A battery of tests performed on her revealed a clinical picture of sepsis, a massive bloodstream infection that would lead rapidly to inadequacy of the circulation, which in turn often results in organ failure and death. The condition of the young woman was deteriorating rapidly. Her legs were quite swollen quite swollen from the knees downward and her face became puffy. The abdomen was so distended that it partially obscured the view of the heaving rib cage. The surgeon figured out that her intestine were blown up with gas, and there was no peristalsis and no rhythmic contractions that push along the intestine’s contents in normal, individuals. The rapid belly ballooning is called meteorism by the doctors, which means it is a belly with dead bowel in it. This explained the patient’s sepsis and the imminent need for an operation was felt.
In the operating room the patient was thinking “I am going to die - I am 20 year old, and I am going. to die.” A priest came and was praying by making the sign of the cross and the patient thought this is the last rites. The patient believed in the power of God and felt the presence of her father all the time, although he had died when she was 10. She found her father tell ing her “No, not yet.” The patient told her mother “I am going to live.” Immediately the surgical team went into action, the surgeon made a long up-and-down incision in the middle of the very distended abdomen and as the abdomen was opened a malodorous yellowish fluid poured out and it was collected into several large trap bottles. The volume was six pints. The surgeon removed 15 inches dead small bowel and gave the specimen to the pathology resident. The surgeons re-constructed the gut with staples. The patient’s gaping abdomen was washed with ten quarts of warmed antibiotic-laced saline and rinsed out as much of bacterial and other debris as possible. The abdomen was closed with 30 staples into the skin. The doctors did not know why this happened to the patient’s intestine.
The pathologist whose specialty is diseases of the gastro-intestinal tract found the answer - enteritis necroticans- the thing they call pigbel. Microscopic examination of excised specimen revealed thousands upon thousands of rod-shaped bacteria that belong to the genus of bacillus called Clostridium which are closely related to the microscopic organisms that cause tetanus and gas gangrene. The toxins (poisonous substances) released by these microbes are capable of causing inflammation and necrosis (death and decay) of the intestinal wall -hence the name enteritis necroticans. Clostridia is responsible for the young woman’s sepsis, and all the bowel, neurological and skin symptoms were the result of the bacterium and its toxins. The toxins also produce the destruction of cells of some voluntary muscle tissue, a process called rhabdomyolysis which the patient exhibited.
Amalgamation of massive clostridial growth in intestine, sepsis, rhabdomyolysis and the patient’s diabetic problems could explain the entire spectrum of destructive events the patient had been experiencing. Ordinarily a moderate number of clostridia live in harmony with other bowel’s organism in the gut. Unless some incident occurs to disturb the harmony among the bowel's organisms and chemicals, clostridia do not increase in number to be a source of peril. To the doctors it is an intellectual challenge to fund out what upset the intestinal homeostasis causing a mammoth overgrowth of clostridia. The doctors were hesitant to tell the patient’s mother that her daughter has a disease whose name is pidgin or “pig belly.”
This same process kills thousands of New Guinea tribes people every year. Acute pigbel is a major cause of premature death in the highlands of Papua New Guinea. Eighty Five percent of the people who contract the disease die. It is second only to respiratory disease in mortality and it is a leading killer of children in the region. The highest incidence occurs at the time of the year when ceremonial pig feasting takes peace. This disease has been meticulously studied and it is possible to describe its evolution with substantial definitiveness.
Pig Festival
The pig festival is an indispensable component of numerous rituals associated with the countless varieties of highland carnivals and offerings. The food is always prepared in a conventional style. After the pigs are clubbed to death, their intestines are removed, washed, wrapped in leaves. Laminates of filleted carcass, guts, banana leaves, and breadfruit are kept into ground craters along with sweet potatoes or banana, chopped greens and preheated stones. The layers are packed with pigs’ quarters and flanks. A large steam oven is created whose internal temperature is 172 degree Fahrenheit. This heating results in inadequate cooking of the meat and contributes to plenitude of chance for bacterial contamination. After the cooking the banquet takes place in the most unhygienic conditions that a sanitation inspector has ever seen. These conditions are perfect for the breeding of hazardous organism such as clostridia. The human body has a defense mechanism as it produces an enzymes called trypsin which destroys the clostridial toxin. Unfortunately, sweet potatoes contain a chemical that inhibits the action of trypsin. The natives use sweet potatoes not only during pig feast as a major dish, but also as a staple food. Thus the consumption of large amounts of clostridia rich meat along with bountiful doses of trypsin inhibitor produces the impeccable blend to coax fulminating flare-ups of pigbel. The situation becomes more deplorable with the presence of intestinal round-worms (Ascaris lumbricoides), a parasite that secretes its own brand of trypsin inhibitor, adding to what is already in the poisoned meals.
As for the clinical symptoms of the illness in the tribal people of Papua New Guinea, they are exactly the same as that was displayed in the young patient in New Haven, Connecticut. Only thing absent was the segments characteristic to diabetes.
Enteritis Necroticans
The disease, Enteritis necroticans, is caused by the overgrowth of clostridia bacteria and it appeared as an epidemic disease of identical nature in post World War II Germany as Darmbrand or fire bowels. Outbreaks of the same thing have been described sporadically in numerous African countries, China, Bangladesh, the Solomon Islands, and among Khmer children in Thailand. There have been occasional accounts of individual patients dying of enteritis necroticans in affluent Western nations, but no real epidemics have occurred. In 1983, a 23-year old photographer model died in England’s Royal Liverpool Hospital. Autopsy revealed massive clostridial overgrowth in the esophagus, stomach and upper portion of the small intestine. The characteristics of this case are stunningly analogous to pigbel. In Netherlands in 1984 a young diabetic male nurse died 24 hours after being admitted with characteristic manifestations. He had eaten an unspecified amount of pork at a party the day before becoming sick. Being a diabetic he had decreased resistance to bacteria.
Two days later the New Haven patient’s entire body was bloated and swollen. Her abdomen was bulging so tightly that it strained against the stitches (from previous operation) holding together. In the Operating Room, the surgeons removed another 18 inches of intestine from the duodenal-jejunal junction. The excised segment looked exactly like the segment removed 48 hours earlier. Within 24 hours the rhabdomyolysis had reduced, her kidneys function improved, sepsis was much less, livedo reticularis had begun to recede. Within 24 hours she improved on all fronts. The improvement continued and she stayed in MICU (medical intensive care unit) for three weeks before she was transferred to an acute-care floor where she remained for an additional two months and then moved to the hospital’s rehabilitation unit.
She was discharged from the hospital after she had entered it. It took another four months for her to regain enough strength to return to college to complete her sophomore year as an education major.
“0 ye believe! eat of the good things that We have provided for you be grateful to Allah if it is Him ye worship (2:172)
“He hath only forbidden you dead meat and blood and the flesh of swine and that on which any other name hath been invoked besides that of Allah but if one is forced by necessity without wilful disobedience not transgressing due limits then is he guiltless. For Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful.” (2:173)
Commenting on the above verse (2:173), Allama Yusuf Ali says Carrion or dead meat and blood as articles of food would obviously cause disgust to any refined person. So would swine’s flesh where the swine live on offal. Where swine are fed artificially on clean food, the objections remain: (1) that they are filthy animals in other respects, and the flesh of filthy animals taken as food affects the eaten; (2) that swine’s flesh has more fat then muscle-building material; and (3) that it is more liable to disease than other kinds of meat; e.g., trichinosis, characterized by hair-like worms in the muscular tissue. As to food dedicated to idols or false gods, it is obviously unseemly for the Children of Unity to partake of it.”
“Forbidden to you (for food) are: dead meat, blood, the flesh of swine and that on which hath been invoked the name of other than Allah that which hath been killed by strangling or by a violent blow or by a headlong fall or being gored to death; that which hath been (partly) eaten by a wild animal; unless you are able to slaughter it (in due form); that which is sacrificed on stone (alters); (forbidden) also is the division (of meat) raffling with arrows: that is impiety. This day have those who reject faith given up all hope of your religion: yet fear them not but fear Me. This day have I perfected your religion for you completed my favor upon you and have chosen for you Islam as your religion. But if any forced by hunger with no inclination to transgression Allah is indeed Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful (5:3)
Say: "I find not in the Message received by me by inspiration any (meat forbidden to be eaten by one who wishes to eat it unless it be dead meat or blood poured forth or the flesh of swine for it is an abomination of what is impious (meat) on which a name has been invoked other then Allah‘s.” But (even so) if a person is forced by necessity without wilful disobedience nor transgressing due limits thy Lord is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful "(6:145)
The following verse is very profound in the light of modern knowledge:
Those who conceal Allah’s revelations in the Book and purchase for them a miserable profit they swallow into themselves naught but fire; Allah will not address them on the Day of Resurrection nor purify them; grievous will be their penalty. (2:174)
Yusuf Ali comments on the above verse as follows: “They eat nothing but fire into their bellies” is a literal translation that produces an effect of rude inelegance which is not in the Arabic words. Even in the matter of food and drinks, the mission of Islam is to avoid the extremes of lawlessness on the one hand and extreme formalism on the other. It has laid down a few simply and very reasonable rules. Their infraction causes loss of health or physical powers in any case. But if there is further a spirit of subjective rebellion or fraud-passing off in the name of religion something which is far from the purpose - the consequences become also moral and spiritual. Then it becomes a sin against Faith and Spirit. Continuing the physical simile, we actually swallow fire into ourselves. Imagine the torments which we should have if we swallowed fire into our physical body! They would be infinitely worse in our spiritual state, and they would go on to the Day of Resurrection, when we shall be deprived even of the words which the judge speaks to a reasonable culprit, and we shall certainly not win His Grace and Mercy.
I am stunned by the words “They eat nothing but fire into their bellies.” One can understand these words after reading the following true story.
A Young Victim
A beautiful but diabetic 20 year old Christian girl was wheeled towards an operating room one spring afternoon in May 1991 in Yale-New Haven Hospital emergency room in Connecticut. Today she is alive and does not know whether the credit goes to the wonders of modern scientific medicine or the spiritual intercession of her long-dead father. After recovery her doctors told her never to eat pork again.
Her complaint was that her abdomen was aching and her arms and legs became numb. Her abdomen severely hurt, like a tight muscle spasm and everything was squeezed together.
A battery of tests performed on her revealed a clinical picture of sepsis, a massive bloodstream infection that would lead rapidly to inadequacy of the circulation, which in turn often results in organ failure and death. The condition of the young woman was deteriorating rapidly. Her legs were quite swollen quite swollen from the knees downward and her face became puffy. The abdomen was so distended that it partially obscured the view of the heaving rib cage. The surgeon figured out that her intestine were blown up with gas, and there was no peristalsis and no rhythmic contractions that push along the intestine’s contents in normal, individuals. The rapid belly ballooning is called meteorism by the doctors, which means it is a belly with dead bowel in it. This explained the patient’s sepsis and the imminent need for an operation was felt.
In the operating room the patient was thinking “I am going to die - I am 20 year old, and I am going. to die.” A priest came and was praying by making the sign of the cross and the patient thought this is the last rites. The patient believed in the power of God and felt the presence of her father all the time, although he had died when she was 10. She found her father tell ing her “No, not yet.” The patient told her mother “I am going to live.” Immediately the surgical team went into action, the surgeon made a long up-and-down incision in the middle of the very distended abdomen and as the abdomen was opened a malodorous yellowish fluid poured out and it was collected into several large trap bottles. The volume was six pints. The surgeon removed 15 inches dead small bowel and gave the specimen to the pathology resident. The surgeons re-constructed the gut with staples. The patient’s gaping abdomen was washed with ten quarts of warmed antibiotic-laced saline and rinsed out as much of bacterial and other debris as possible. The abdomen was closed with 30 staples into the skin. The doctors did not know why this happened to the patient’s intestine.
The pathologist whose specialty is diseases of the gastro-intestinal tract found the answer - enteritis necroticans- the thing they call pigbel. Microscopic examination of excised specimen revealed thousands upon thousands of rod-shaped bacteria that belong to the genus of bacillus called Clostridium which are closely related to the microscopic organisms that cause tetanus and gas gangrene. The toxins (poisonous substances) released by these microbes are capable of causing inflammation and necrosis (death and decay) of the intestinal wall -hence the name enteritis necroticans. Clostridia is responsible for the young woman’s sepsis, and all the bowel, neurological and skin symptoms were the result of the bacterium and its toxins. The toxins also produce the destruction of cells of some voluntary muscle tissue, a process called rhabdomyolysis which the patient exhibited.
Amalgamation of massive clostridial growth in intestine, sepsis, rhabdomyolysis and the patient’s diabetic problems could explain the entire spectrum of destructive events the patient had been experiencing. Ordinarily a moderate number of clostridia live in harmony with other bowel’s organism in the gut. Unless some incident occurs to disturb the harmony among the bowel's organisms and chemicals, clostridia do not increase in number to be a source of peril. To the doctors it is an intellectual challenge to fund out what upset the intestinal homeostasis causing a mammoth overgrowth of clostridia. The doctors were hesitant to tell the patient’s mother that her daughter has a disease whose name is pidgin or “pig belly.”
This same process kills thousands of New Guinea tribes people every year. Acute pigbel is a major cause of premature death in the highlands of Papua New Guinea. Eighty Five percent of the people who contract the disease die. It is second only to respiratory disease in mortality and it is a leading killer of children in the region. The highest incidence occurs at the time of the year when ceremonial pig feasting takes peace. This disease has been meticulously studied and it is possible to describe its evolution with substantial definitiveness.
Pig Festival
The pig festival is an indispensable component of numerous rituals associated with the countless varieties of highland carnivals and offerings. The food is always prepared in a conventional style. After the pigs are clubbed to death, their intestines are removed, washed, wrapped in leaves. Laminates of filleted carcass, guts, banana leaves, and breadfruit are kept into ground craters along with sweet potatoes or banana, chopped greens and preheated stones. The layers are packed with pigs’ quarters and flanks. A large steam oven is created whose internal temperature is 172 degree Fahrenheit. This heating results in inadequate cooking of the meat and contributes to plenitude of chance for bacterial contamination. After the cooking the banquet takes place in the most unhygienic conditions that a sanitation inspector has ever seen. These conditions are perfect for the breeding of hazardous organism such as clostridia. The human body has a defense mechanism as it produces an enzymes called trypsin which destroys the clostridial toxin. Unfortunately, sweet potatoes contain a chemical that inhibits the action of trypsin. The natives use sweet potatoes not only during pig feast as a major dish, but also as a staple food. Thus the consumption of large amounts of clostridia rich meat along with bountiful doses of trypsin inhibitor produces the impeccable blend to coax fulminating flare-ups of pigbel. The situation becomes more deplorable with the presence of intestinal round-worms (Ascaris lumbricoides), a parasite that secretes its own brand of trypsin inhibitor, adding to what is already in the poisoned meals.
As for the clinical symptoms of the illness in the tribal people of Papua New Guinea, they are exactly the same as that was displayed in the young patient in New Haven, Connecticut. Only thing absent was the segments characteristic to diabetes.
Enteritis Necroticans
The disease, Enteritis necroticans, is caused by the overgrowth of clostridia bacteria and it appeared as an epidemic disease of identical nature in post World War II Germany as Darmbrand or fire bowels. Outbreaks of the same thing have been described sporadically in numerous African countries, China, Bangladesh, the Solomon Islands, and among Khmer children in Thailand. There have been occasional accounts of individual patients dying of enteritis necroticans in affluent Western nations, but no real epidemics have occurred. In 1983, a 23-year old photographer model died in England’s Royal Liverpool Hospital. Autopsy revealed massive clostridial overgrowth in the esophagus, stomach and upper portion of the small intestine. The characteristics of this case are stunningly analogous to pigbel. In Netherlands in 1984 a young diabetic male nurse died 24 hours after being admitted with characteristic manifestations. He had eaten an unspecified amount of pork at a party the day before becoming sick. Being a diabetic he had decreased resistance to bacteria.
Two days later the New Haven patient’s entire body was bloated and swollen. Her abdomen was bulging so tightly that it strained against the stitches (from previous operation) holding together. In the Operating Room, the surgeons removed another 18 inches of intestine from the duodenal-jejunal junction. The excised segment looked exactly like the segment removed 48 hours earlier. Within 24 hours the rhabdomyolysis had reduced, her kidneys function improved, sepsis was much less, livedo reticularis had begun to recede. Within 24 hours she improved on all fronts. The improvement continued and she stayed in MICU (medical intensive care unit) for three weeks before she was transferred to an acute-care floor where she remained for an additional two months and then moved to the hospital’s rehabilitation unit.
She was discharged from the hospital after she had entered it. It took another four months for her to regain enough strength to return to college to complete her sophomore year as an education major.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Mission Possible: Teen Da'wah
Some parental strategies and techniques for success in presenting da'wah to their children.
Do you get the feeling that every Islamic oriented discussion with your teens is falling on deaf ears lately? If so, you're not alone, but it may not be as bad as you think. Many children feel an exaggerated sense of independence when they reach adolescence.
As a result, they may feel they no longer need their parent's intervention or advice; perhaps feeling their parents are old-fashioned or out to touch. Sound familiar? For us, as parents, to get our point across, it all comes down to simply this: technique. You may feel as if you are taking one step forward and two steps back, but it's possible that you just need to overhaul your method and revise your strategy.
Timing is Everything
It's true. Timing can really make all the difference. If you try talking to your teens in the midst of them running out the door to go to a friend's house, chances are they will absorb less than 5% of what you just said. Their focus at that point in time is getting where they want to go, as fast as humanly possible.
Picking the right time to talk about Islam is really an essential part of making da'wah (call to Islam) to them. We all have to think back and consider how our state of mind was when we were a teen. Try to remember the type of things that really made you stop and pay attention. Try to think of someone who really made an impact on you, someone you really listened to, what was their technique - what did they do that made a difference?
As ironic as it may sound, the dreaded family outing can be a great time for da'wah. While, for the most part, many teens would rather be doing almost anything other than spending a few days isolated with their parents and siblings, an outing may be just the thing you need. Free from distractions of school, friends, computers and phone is where you'll get the most time to spotlight and highlight Islam.
By simply taking a trip to the local wildlife reservation or nature area can be a wonderful opportunity to point out the fascinating miracles of Allah (SWT). A change of scenery in beautiful surroundings usually has a positive impact on everyone in the family, giving everyone a chance to stop and smell the rose, figuratively and literally speaking.
Finally, Ramadan is a prime time to give da'wah to your teens. It is a time when everyone in the family is more focused on Islam. Between fasting and the Taraweeh Salah (night prayer), it softens our hearts and gives us all time to reflect. Ramadan is an ideal time to get your teen involved at the local Masjid and with the Muslim community.
Search out and find projects for them to do, and tasks to accomplish. Although some teens may be uninterested at first, but by the time Ramadan is over there's a good chance that they will be thankful for the time they spent working for the sake of Allah (SWT) and will remember it for years to come.
Smart Strategies
Keep it Short and Sweet - Children young and old have short attention spans and easily be distracted. The less time you spend talking, the more effective your point will be.
Make it Relate - Use examples they can relate to in their daily life. Point out situations as they arise and how they relate to Islam. Don't miss an opportunity to point out blessings, miracles and lessons. It is easier to understand and remember things that are directly related to one's own personal experiences or something that they have noticed in themselves.
Start and End on a High Note - Be positive in your approach. Many times we all get overly critical or nit-picky with our kids. It's really easy to do without even realizing it. It is truly important for them to know that we love them and are proud of them.
And it is crucial that we take the time to point out the good things that they do, as well as the bad. For example, if they carry out a good deed, relate it to Islam and point it out. Explain the importance, rather, the magnitude of their actions and the rewards they will receive for those good deeds. In addition, focus on the rewards in Islam equally as much as the punishments.
Draw attention to the halal (lawful) equally as much as the haram (prohibition). Often, we concentrate on the negative much more and sometimes leave the positive as an afterthought or leave it out altogether.
Fresh Ideas
Family Outings - Do some research before the next outing and have your kids look up the miracles in the Holy Qur'an that deal with nature (bees and plants etc.). Then on your outing, have a scavenger hunt to search for those miracles.
Ramadan - This year, instead of staying at home every evening, go to Masjid and serve Iftar (breakfast) to others. Seek out the needy Muslims in your surrounding area and help your teens assemble food baskets, drive them around and let them distribute it to the needy Muslims themselves.
Community - Having your teen directly involved in activities is one of the most effective methods of da'wah. Get your teen to help organize the next convention or seminar at your local Masjid. A group of teens can visit the sick and elderly Muslims in the community. Teens can even organize a weekend camping event with their friends, a few parents and someone knowledgeable in the community to give short talks between activities.
This Mission is Yours
Each of us stops and wonders how the children we raise will turn out as adults. Often we're perplexed which way is best to relay the message of Islam in a manner that will bring successful results. We want to prevent our children from having to learn things the hard way, and shield them from the harmful situations of this life.
More importantly, we're striving to protect them from the Hellfire and make their path easier to Jannah (paradise). This is why we teach them, it is why we want them to listen and understand.
One of the most difficult missions for any parent is to get their children to really listen, understand and heed their advice. It is not an easy mission, as Allah (SWT) tells us: "And know that your possessions and your children are but a trial, and that surely with Allah is a Mighty Reward." (Holy Qur'an 8: 28)
We are, InshaAllah, all attempting to fulfill our goal as parents and Muslims in one of our most trying tests in this life. The more effective methods we use to impart the importance of Islam to our children in their daily lives, the more likely they will be to be among those who enter Jannah and make Du'a (supplication) for us when we are gone.
[From: Al Jumu'ah Vol. 13 Issue 7]
Do you get the feeling that every Islamic oriented discussion with your teens is falling on deaf ears lately? If so, you're not alone, but it may not be as bad as you think. Many children feel an exaggerated sense of independence when they reach adolescence.
As a result, they may feel they no longer need their parent's intervention or advice; perhaps feeling their parents are old-fashioned or out to touch. Sound familiar? For us, as parents, to get our point across, it all comes down to simply this: technique. You may feel as if you are taking one step forward and two steps back, but it's possible that you just need to overhaul your method and revise your strategy.
Timing is Everything
It's true. Timing can really make all the difference. If you try talking to your teens in the midst of them running out the door to go to a friend's house, chances are they will absorb less than 5% of what you just said. Their focus at that point in time is getting where they want to go, as fast as humanly possible.
Picking the right time to talk about Islam is really an essential part of making da'wah (call to Islam) to them. We all have to think back and consider how our state of mind was when we were a teen. Try to remember the type of things that really made you stop and pay attention. Try to think of someone who really made an impact on you, someone you really listened to, what was their technique - what did they do that made a difference?
As ironic as it may sound, the dreaded family outing can be a great time for da'wah. While, for the most part, many teens would rather be doing almost anything other than spending a few days isolated with their parents and siblings, an outing may be just the thing you need. Free from distractions of school, friends, computers and phone is where you'll get the most time to spotlight and highlight Islam.
By simply taking a trip to the local wildlife reservation or nature area can be a wonderful opportunity to point out the fascinating miracles of Allah (SWT). A change of scenery in beautiful surroundings usually has a positive impact on everyone in the family, giving everyone a chance to stop and smell the rose, figuratively and literally speaking.
Finally, Ramadan is a prime time to give da'wah to your teens. It is a time when everyone in the family is more focused on Islam. Between fasting and the Taraweeh Salah (night prayer), it softens our hearts and gives us all time to reflect. Ramadan is an ideal time to get your teen involved at the local Masjid and with the Muslim community.
Search out and find projects for them to do, and tasks to accomplish. Although some teens may be uninterested at first, but by the time Ramadan is over there's a good chance that they will be thankful for the time they spent working for the sake of Allah (SWT) and will remember it for years to come.
Smart Strategies
Keep it Short and Sweet - Children young and old have short attention spans and easily be distracted. The less time you spend talking, the more effective your point will be.
Make it Relate - Use examples they can relate to in their daily life. Point out situations as they arise and how they relate to Islam. Don't miss an opportunity to point out blessings, miracles and lessons. It is easier to understand and remember things that are directly related to one's own personal experiences or something that they have noticed in themselves.
Start and End on a High Note - Be positive in your approach. Many times we all get overly critical or nit-picky with our kids. It's really easy to do without even realizing it. It is truly important for them to know that we love them and are proud of them.
And it is crucial that we take the time to point out the good things that they do, as well as the bad. For example, if they carry out a good deed, relate it to Islam and point it out. Explain the importance, rather, the magnitude of their actions and the rewards they will receive for those good deeds. In addition, focus on the rewards in Islam equally as much as the punishments.
Draw attention to the halal (lawful) equally as much as the haram (prohibition). Often, we concentrate on the negative much more and sometimes leave the positive as an afterthought or leave it out altogether.
Fresh Ideas
Family Outings - Do some research before the next outing and have your kids look up the miracles in the Holy Qur'an that deal with nature (bees and plants etc.). Then on your outing, have a scavenger hunt to search for those miracles.
Ramadan - This year, instead of staying at home every evening, go to Masjid and serve Iftar (breakfast) to others. Seek out the needy Muslims in your surrounding area and help your teens assemble food baskets, drive them around and let them distribute it to the needy Muslims themselves.
Community - Having your teen directly involved in activities is one of the most effective methods of da'wah. Get your teen to help organize the next convention or seminar at your local Masjid. A group of teens can visit the sick and elderly Muslims in the community. Teens can even organize a weekend camping event with their friends, a few parents and someone knowledgeable in the community to give short talks between activities.
This Mission is Yours
Each of us stops and wonders how the children we raise will turn out as adults. Often we're perplexed which way is best to relay the message of Islam in a manner that will bring successful results. We want to prevent our children from having to learn things the hard way, and shield them from the harmful situations of this life.
More importantly, we're striving to protect them from the Hellfire and make their path easier to Jannah (paradise). This is why we teach them, it is why we want them to listen and understand.
One of the most difficult missions for any parent is to get their children to really listen, understand and heed their advice. It is not an easy mission, as Allah (SWT) tells us: "And know that your possessions and your children are but a trial, and that surely with Allah is a Mighty Reward." (Holy Qur'an 8: 28)
We are, InshaAllah, all attempting to fulfill our goal as parents and Muslims in one of our most trying tests in this life. The more effective methods we use to impart the importance of Islam to our children in their daily lives, the more likely they will be to be among those who enter Jannah and make Du'a (supplication) for us when we are gone.
[From: Al Jumu'ah Vol. 13 Issue 7]
The Prophet’s Compassion for Children
By Amatullah Abdullah
Children are a great blessing from Allah. With their tender hearts, children can be molded into righteous people only with a positive and tender approach. Islam considers children to be an amanah (trust) given to the family and says it is fard (obligatory) for the family to raise a child in a righteous manner. One should not favor one child over another. In Islam, both male and female children should be treated equally and should be loved and cherished. The children have certain rights over their parents; it is the family’s obligation to shelter, feed, clothe, educate, support, nurture, and love them.
In today’s world many parents are so immersed in worldly life that they forget to pay attention to their children. Many parents think that providing financial support for their child is enough. The fact is, financial support alone doesn’t fulfill a parent’s duty towards their child. One can only win a child’s heart through love and a gentle attitude. It is the child’s right to be loved and cherished.
I remember that, as a child, I yearned for the attention of my family, but being in a joint family—my family and my uncle’s family lived together and a few other cousins stayed with us as their parents were working abroad—did not give me the opportunity to experience the kind of attention I expected. My parents felt that they should not express their love for their children in front of others, as people might think they were favoring us. As a child (and even now), I heard people saying “We need not to express our love to prove that it is there, it is enough to have a loving heart.” But the fact is that only when one expresses love to a child will the child feel more confident and stronger. Children have the capacity to easily distinguish when there is a difference in the attitude of the adults. Whether an adult shows or does not show love will have a significant impact on a child. Hence, we adults have to be conscious with our behavior in the child’s presence and be constantly aware of the emotions we project to our children.
Nowadays, we see people have become hardhearted so that their attitude towards children is unpleasant. There are some who show much partiality toward one gender, and there are some who don’t treat others’ children with the same kindness or affection which they show to their own children. It is common to see even people who claim that they act on the Qur’an and Sunnah showing less interest in playing with their children or giving them the due attention or expression of love.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is the model for the whole of humankind. His attitude towards children was always compassionate and merciful. Being fond of children, Prophet Muhammad showed great interest in playing with them. His involvement in children’s games shows us the great importance in playing with our children. He would have fun with the children who had come back from Abyssinia and tried to speak in Abyssinian with them. It was his practice to give lifts on his camel to children when he returned from journeys.
Prophet Muhammad never held back his love for the children and always expressed his fondness to them. In one hadith Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated:
I went along with Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) at a time during the day but he did not talk to me and I did not talk to him until he reached the market of Banu Qainuqa`. He came back to the tent of Fatimah and said, “Is the little chap (meaning Al-Hasan) there?” We were under the impression that his mother had detained him in order to bathe him and dress him and garland him with sweet garland. Not much time had passed that he (Al-Hasan) came running until both of them embraced each other, thereupon Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “O Allah, I love him; love him and love one who loves him.” (Muslim)
Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him), the servant of the Prophet, had another recollection:
I never saw anyone who was more compassionate towards children than Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him). His son Ibrahim was in the care of a wet nurse in the hills around Madinah. He would go there, and we would go with him, and he would enter the house, pick up his son and kiss him, then come back. (Muslim)
The Prophet’s love for children was not restricted to his children and grandchildren. The scope of his mercy and affection embraced all children, and he showed the same interest and gentleness to his Companion’s children. The following hadith narrated by Usamah ibn Zaid (may Allah be pleased with him) shows this humane aspect of the Prophet’s personality:
Allah’s Messenger used to put me on (one of) his thighs and put Al-Hasan ibn `Ali on his other thigh, and then embrace us and say, “O Allah! Please be merciful to them, as I am merciful to them.” (Bukhari)
Some people who were not able to understand the power of expressing love to children wondered why the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) played with children and took such an interest in them. Narrated Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him),
Allah’s Messenger kissed Al-Hasan ibn `Ali while Al-Aqra` ibn Habis At-Tamim was sitting with him . Al-Aqra` said, “I have ten children and have never kissed one of them.” The Prophet cast a look at him and said, “Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully.” (Al-Bukhari)
The Prophet was always concerned about everyone’s thought and feeling. The following hadith narrated by Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) proves his thoughtful character:
The Prophet said, “(It happens that) I start the prayer intending to prolong it, but on hearing the cries of a child, I shorten the prayer because I know that the cries of the child will incite its mother’s passions.” (Al-Bukhari)
The Prophet was always patient and considerate with children and took great pain not to hurt their tender feelings.
Narrated Abu Qatadah: “The Messenger of Allah came towards us while carrying Umamah the daughter of Abi Al-`As (Prophet’s granddaughter) over his shoulder. He prayed, and when he wanted to bow, he put her down, and when he stood up he lifted her up.” (Al-Bukhari)
In a another hadith,
Narrated Umm Khalid: I (the daughter of Khalid ibn Said) went to Allah’s Messenger with my father and I was wearing a yellow shirt. Allah’s Messenger said, “Sanah, Sanah!” (`Abdullah, the narrator, said that sanah meant “good” in the Ethiopian language). I then started playing with the seal of prophethood (between the Prophet’s shoulders) and my father rebuked me harshly for that. Allah’s Messenger said, “Leave her.” The Prophet, then, invoked Allah to grant her a long life thrice. (Al-Bukhari)
In another narration we see the Prophet’s tolerance towards children.
Narrated `A’ishah: The Prophet took a child in his lap … and then the child urinated on him, so he asked for water and poured it over the place of the urine. (Al-Bukhari)
Finally I would like to add another saying of the Prophet that proves that Muslims should be conscious to treat their sons and daughters justly:
“Fear Allah and treat your children [small or grown] fairly (with equal justice).” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
From all the above hadith we see Prophet Muhammad’s attitude toward children is an example for the whole human race that shows how to treat them and cherish them at all times.
Children are a great blessing from Allah. With their tender hearts, children can be molded into righteous people only with a positive and tender approach. Islam considers children to be an amanah (trust) given to the family and says it is fard (obligatory) for the family to raise a child in a righteous manner. One should not favor one child over another. In Islam, both male and female children should be treated equally and should be loved and cherished. The children have certain rights over their parents; it is the family’s obligation to shelter, feed, clothe, educate, support, nurture, and love them.
In today’s world many parents are so immersed in worldly life that they forget to pay attention to their children. Many parents think that providing financial support for their child is enough. The fact is, financial support alone doesn’t fulfill a parent’s duty towards their child. One can only win a child’s heart through love and a gentle attitude. It is the child’s right to be loved and cherished.
I remember that, as a child, I yearned for the attention of my family, but being in a joint family—my family and my uncle’s family lived together and a few other cousins stayed with us as their parents were working abroad—did not give me the opportunity to experience the kind of attention I expected. My parents felt that they should not express their love for their children in front of others, as people might think they were favoring us. As a child (and even now), I heard people saying “We need not to express our love to prove that it is there, it is enough to have a loving heart.” But the fact is that only when one expresses love to a child will the child feel more confident and stronger. Children have the capacity to easily distinguish when there is a difference in the attitude of the adults. Whether an adult shows or does not show love will have a significant impact on a child. Hence, we adults have to be conscious with our behavior in the child’s presence and be constantly aware of the emotions we project to our children.
Nowadays, we see people have become hardhearted so that their attitude towards children is unpleasant. There are some who show much partiality toward one gender, and there are some who don’t treat others’ children with the same kindness or affection which they show to their own children. It is common to see even people who claim that they act on the Qur’an and Sunnah showing less interest in playing with their children or giving them the due attention or expression of love.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is the model for the whole of humankind. His attitude towards children was always compassionate and merciful. Being fond of children, Prophet Muhammad showed great interest in playing with them. His involvement in children’s games shows us the great importance in playing with our children. He would have fun with the children who had come back from Abyssinia and tried to speak in Abyssinian with them. It was his practice to give lifts on his camel to children when he returned from journeys.
Prophet Muhammad never held back his love for the children and always expressed his fondness to them. In one hadith Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated:
I went along with Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) at a time during the day but he did not talk to me and I did not talk to him until he reached the market of Banu Qainuqa`. He came back to the tent of Fatimah and said, “Is the little chap (meaning Al-Hasan) there?” We were under the impression that his mother had detained him in order to bathe him and dress him and garland him with sweet garland. Not much time had passed that he (Al-Hasan) came running until both of them embraced each other, thereupon Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “O Allah, I love him; love him and love one who loves him.” (Muslim)
Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him), the servant of the Prophet, had another recollection:
I never saw anyone who was more compassionate towards children than Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him). His son Ibrahim was in the care of a wet nurse in the hills around Madinah. He would go there, and we would go with him, and he would enter the house, pick up his son and kiss him, then come back. (Muslim)
The Prophet’s love for children was not restricted to his children and grandchildren. The scope of his mercy and affection embraced all children, and he showed the same interest and gentleness to his Companion’s children. The following hadith narrated by Usamah ibn Zaid (may Allah be pleased with him) shows this humane aspect of the Prophet’s personality:
Allah’s Messenger used to put me on (one of) his thighs and put Al-Hasan ibn `Ali on his other thigh, and then embrace us and say, “O Allah! Please be merciful to them, as I am merciful to them.” (Bukhari)
Some people who were not able to understand the power of expressing love to children wondered why the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) played with children and took such an interest in them. Narrated Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him),
Allah’s Messenger kissed Al-Hasan ibn `Ali while Al-Aqra` ibn Habis At-Tamim was sitting with him . Al-Aqra` said, “I have ten children and have never kissed one of them.” The Prophet cast a look at him and said, “Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully.” (Al-Bukhari)
The Prophet was always concerned about everyone’s thought and feeling. The following hadith narrated by Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) proves his thoughtful character:
The Prophet said, “(It happens that) I start the prayer intending to prolong it, but on hearing the cries of a child, I shorten the prayer because I know that the cries of the child will incite its mother’s passions.” (Al-Bukhari)
The Prophet was always patient and considerate with children and took great pain not to hurt their tender feelings.
Narrated Abu Qatadah: “The Messenger of Allah came towards us while carrying Umamah the daughter of Abi Al-`As (Prophet’s granddaughter) over his shoulder. He prayed, and when he wanted to bow, he put her down, and when he stood up he lifted her up.” (Al-Bukhari)
In a another hadith,
Narrated Umm Khalid: I (the daughter of Khalid ibn Said) went to Allah’s Messenger with my father and I was wearing a yellow shirt. Allah’s Messenger said, “Sanah, Sanah!” (`Abdullah, the narrator, said that sanah meant “good” in the Ethiopian language). I then started playing with the seal of prophethood (between the Prophet’s shoulders) and my father rebuked me harshly for that. Allah’s Messenger said, “Leave her.” The Prophet, then, invoked Allah to grant her a long life thrice. (Al-Bukhari)
In another narration we see the Prophet’s tolerance towards children.
Narrated `A’ishah: The Prophet took a child in his lap … and then the child urinated on him, so he asked for water and poured it over the place of the urine. (Al-Bukhari)
Finally I would like to add another saying of the Prophet that proves that Muslims should be conscious to treat their sons and daughters justly:
“Fear Allah and treat your children [small or grown] fairly (with equal justice).” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
From all the above hadith we see Prophet Muhammad’s attitude toward children is an example for the whole human race that shows how to treat them and cherish them at all times.
Miraculous Mixture: Mother’s Milk
And We have enjoined upon man goodness towards his parents: His mother bore him by bearing strain upon strain, and his weaning was in two years: “[Hence, O man,] be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the eventual coming.” (Qur’an, 31:14)
Mother’s milk is a matchless compound created by Allah to meet the baby’s nutritional needs and protect it against possible infections. The balance of the nutriments in mother’s milk is at ideal levels and the milk is in the ideal form for the baby’s immature body. At the same time, the mother’s milk is also very rich in nutrients which accelerate the growth of brain cells and the development of the nervous system. 1 Artificial baby foods prepared with present-day technology cannot replace this miraculous food.
The list of advantages to the baby provided by mother’s milk is being added to every day. Research has shown that babies who are fed mother’s milk are particularly protected against infections concerning the respiratory and digestive systems. That is because the antibodies in mother’s milk provide a direct defence against infection. Other anti-infection properties of mother’s milk are that it provides a hospitable environment for “good” bacteria called “normal flora” thus constituting a barrier to harmful bacteria, viruses and parasites. Furthermore, it has also been established that there are factors in mother’s milk which arrange the immune system against infectious diseases and allow it to function properly. 2
Since the mother’s milk has been specially designed, it is the most easily digestible food for babies. Despite being nutritionally very rich, it is easily digested by the baby’s sensitive digestive system. Since the baby thus expends less energy on digestion, it is able to use that energy for other bodily functions, growth and organ development.
The milk of mothers who have had premature babies contains higher levels of fat, protein, sodium, chloride and iron to meet the baby’s needs. Indeed, it has been established that the functions of the eye develop better in premature babies fed on mother’s milk and that they perform better in intelligence tests. In addition, they also have a great many other advantages.
One of the ways in which mother’s milk is important to the development of the new-born baby is the fact that it contains omega-3 oil alpha linoleic acids. As well as being an important compound for the human brain and retina, it is also of great importance from the point of view of new-born babies. Omega-3 is of particular importance throughout pregnancy and the early stages of babyhood if the brain and nerves are to develop normally. Scientists particularly emphasise the importance of mother’s milk as a natural and perfect store of omega-3. 3
Furthermore, research by Bristol University scientists revealed that among the long-term benefits of mother’s milk are its positive effect on blood pressure, thanks to which the risk of heart attack is reduced. The research team concluded that the protective nature of mother’s milk stems from its nutritional content. According to the results of the research, published in the medical journal Circulation, babies fed on mother’s milk are less likely to develop heart disease. It has been revealed that the presence in mother’s milk of long-chain polyunsaturated fatty acids—these prevent hardening of the arteries—along with the fact that babies fed on mother’s milk consume less sodium—this is closely linked to blood pressure—and do not, as a result, gain excessive amounts of weight are among the ways that mother’s milk benefits the heart. 4
In addition, a team led by Dr. Lisa Martin, of the Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Centre in the USA, found high levels of the protein hormone known as adiponectin in mother’s milk. 5 High blood levels of adiponectin are associated with a reduced risk of heart attack. Low levels of adiponectin are found in people who are obese and who are at increased risk of a heart attack. It was therefore established that the risk of obesity in babies fed on mother’s milk declined in relation to this hormone. Furthermore, they also discovered the presence of another hormone called leptin in the mother’s milk which has a central role in fat metabolism. Leptin is believed to be a signal to the brain that there is fat on the body.
According to Dr. Martin’s announcement, therefore, these hormones absorbed in babyhood through mother’s milk reduce the risk of such illnesses as obesity, type 2 diabetes and insulin resistance, and coronary artery disease. 6
Facts about “The Freshest Food”:
The facts about the mother’s milk are not restricted to these. The contribution it makes to the baby’s health alters according to the phases the baby undergoes and whichever foodstuff is required at a particular stage, the contents of the milk change to meet those very specific needs. Mother’s milk, ready at all times and at the ideal temperature, plays a major role in brain development because of the sugar and fat it contains. In addition, elements such as calcium in it play a large role in the development of the baby’s bones.
Although it is called milk, this miraculous compound actually consists mostly of water. This is a most important feature because in addition to food, babies also need liquid in the form of water. Full hygiene may not be established in water or foodstuffs other than mother’s milk. Yet mother’s milk—90% water no less—, meets the baby’s water needs in the most hygienic manner.
Mother’s Milk and Intelligence
Scientific research shows that the cognitive development in breast-fed babies is greater than that in other babies. A comparative analysis of breast-fed babies and formula-fed babies by James W. Anderson—an expert from the University of Kentucky—established that the IQs of babies fed on mother’s milk were 5 points higher than those of other babies. As a result of this study, it was determined that intelligence is benefited by mother’s milk for up to 6 months and that children who are breast-fed for less than 8 weeks show no IQ benefit. 7
Does Mother’s Milk Combat Cancer?
As a result of all the research performed, it is proven that mother’s milk, on which hundreds of papers have been published, protects babies against cancer. This, despite the fact that the mechanism is not yet fully understood. When a protein from the mother’s milk killed off tumour cells which had been grown in laboratories without damaging any healthy cells, researchers stated that a great potential has emerged. Catharina Svanborg, professor of clinical immunology at Lund University in Sweden, headed the research team that discovered these miraculous secrets of mother’s milk. 8 This team at Lund University have described the way that mother’s milk provides protection against many forms of cancer as a miraculous discovery.
Initially, researchers treated intestinal mucous cells taken from new-born babies with mother’s milk. They observed that the disorder caused by the bacterium Pneumococcus and known as pneumonia was efficiently halted by mother’s milk. What is more, babies fed on mother’s milk encounter far fewer hearing difficulties than those fed on formula and suffer far fewer respiratory infections. After a series of studies, it was shown that mother’s milk also provides protection against cancer. After showing that the incidence of the lymph cancer observed in childhood was nine times greater in formula-fed children, they realised that the same results applied to other forms of cancer. According to the results, mother’s milk accurately locates the cancer cells and later destroys them. It is a substance called alpha-lac (alphalactalbumin), present in large quantities in mother’s milk, that locates and kills the cancer cells. Alpha-lac is produced by a protein that assists in the manufacture of the sugar lactose in the milk.9
This Matchless Blessing Is a Gift from Allah:
Another miraculous feature of mother’s milk is the fact that it is exceedingly beneficial for the baby to be fed with it for two years. 10 This important information, only recently discovered by science, was revealed by Allah fourteen centuries ago in the verse: “Mothers should nurse their children for two full years—those who wish to complete the full term of nursing…” (Qur’an, 2:233)
In the same way that the mother does not decide to produce milk, the most ideal source of nourishment for the helpless baby in need of feeding in her body, neither does she decide on the various nutritional levels within it. It is Almighty Allah, Who knows the needs of and displays mercy to every living thing, Who creates mother’s milk for the baby in the mother’s body.
Footnotes:
1- “High-Risk Newborn—The Benefits of Mother’s Own Milk” University of Utah Health Sciences Center,
2- Ibid.
3- C. Billeaud, et al., European Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 1997, vol. 51, 520-526.
4- "Breast milk 'does cut heart risk," 1 March 2004, .
5- "Breast milk helps reduce obesity" 2 May 2004,
6- Ibid.
7- Tim Whitmire, “IQ Gain from Breastfeeding”.
8- “Breakthrough in Cancer Research” .
9- Peter Radetsky, "Human Breast Milk Kills Cancer Cells," Discover 20, No. 06, June 1999.
Mother’s milk is a matchless compound created by Allah to meet the baby’s nutritional needs and protect it against possible infections. The balance of the nutriments in mother’s milk is at ideal levels and the milk is in the ideal form for the baby’s immature body. At the same time, the mother’s milk is also very rich in nutrients which accelerate the growth of brain cells and the development of the nervous system. 1 Artificial baby foods prepared with present-day technology cannot replace this miraculous food.
The list of advantages to the baby provided by mother’s milk is being added to every day. Research has shown that babies who are fed mother’s milk are particularly protected against infections concerning the respiratory and digestive systems. That is because the antibodies in mother’s milk provide a direct defence against infection. Other anti-infection properties of mother’s milk are that it provides a hospitable environment for “good” bacteria called “normal flora” thus constituting a barrier to harmful bacteria, viruses and parasites. Furthermore, it has also been established that there are factors in mother’s milk which arrange the immune system against infectious diseases and allow it to function properly. 2
Since the mother’s milk has been specially designed, it is the most easily digestible food for babies. Despite being nutritionally very rich, it is easily digested by the baby’s sensitive digestive system. Since the baby thus expends less energy on digestion, it is able to use that energy for other bodily functions, growth and organ development.
The milk of mothers who have had premature babies contains higher levels of fat, protein, sodium, chloride and iron to meet the baby’s needs. Indeed, it has been established that the functions of the eye develop better in premature babies fed on mother’s milk and that they perform better in intelligence tests. In addition, they also have a great many other advantages.
One of the ways in which mother’s milk is important to the development of the new-born baby is the fact that it contains omega-3 oil alpha linoleic acids. As well as being an important compound for the human brain and retina, it is also of great importance from the point of view of new-born babies. Omega-3 is of particular importance throughout pregnancy and the early stages of babyhood if the brain and nerves are to develop normally. Scientists particularly emphasise the importance of mother’s milk as a natural and perfect store of omega-3. 3
Furthermore, research by Bristol University scientists revealed that among the long-term benefits of mother’s milk are its positive effect on blood pressure, thanks to which the risk of heart attack is reduced. The research team concluded that the protective nature of mother’s milk stems from its nutritional content. According to the results of the research, published in the medical journal Circulation, babies fed on mother’s milk are less likely to develop heart disease. It has been revealed that the presence in mother’s milk of long-chain polyunsaturated fatty acids—these prevent hardening of the arteries—along with the fact that babies fed on mother’s milk consume less sodium—this is closely linked to blood pressure—and do not, as a result, gain excessive amounts of weight are among the ways that mother’s milk benefits the heart. 4
In addition, a team led by Dr. Lisa Martin, of the Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Centre in the USA, found high levels of the protein hormone known as adiponectin in mother’s milk. 5 High blood levels of adiponectin are associated with a reduced risk of heart attack. Low levels of adiponectin are found in people who are obese and who are at increased risk of a heart attack. It was therefore established that the risk of obesity in babies fed on mother’s milk declined in relation to this hormone. Furthermore, they also discovered the presence of another hormone called leptin in the mother’s milk which has a central role in fat metabolism. Leptin is believed to be a signal to the brain that there is fat on the body.
According to Dr. Martin’s announcement, therefore, these hormones absorbed in babyhood through mother’s milk reduce the risk of such illnesses as obesity, type 2 diabetes and insulin resistance, and coronary artery disease. 6
Facts about “The Freshest Food”:
The facts about the mother’s milk are not restricted to these. The contribution it makes to the baby’s health alters according to the phases the baby undergoes and whichever foodstuff is required at a particular stage, the contents of the milk change to meet those very specific needs. Mother’s milk, ready at all times and at the ideal temperature, plays a major role in brain development because of the sugar and fat it contains. In addition, elements such as calcium in it play a large role in the development of the baby’s bones.
Although it is called milk, this miraculous compound actually consists mostly of water. This is a most important feature because in addition to food, babies also need liquid in the form of water. Full hygiene may not be established in water or foodstuffs other than mother’s milk. Yet mother’s milk—90% water no less—, meets the baby’s water needs in the most hygienic manner.
Mother’s Milk and Intelligence
Scientific research shows that the cognitive development in breast-fed babies is greater than that in other babies. A comparative analysis of breast-fed babies and formula-fed babies by James W. Anderson—an expert from the University of Kentucky—established that the IQs of babies fed on mother’s milk were 5 points higher than those of other babies. As a result of this study, it was determined that intelligence is benefited by mother’s milk for up to 6 months and that children who are breast-fed for less than 8 weeks show no IQ benefit. 7
Does Mother’s Milk Combat Cancer?
As a result of all the research performed, it is proven that mother’s milk, on which hundreds of papers have been published, protects babies against cancer. This, despite the fact that the mechanism is not yet fully understood. When a protein from the mother’s milk killed off tumour cells which had been grown in laboratories without damaging any healthy cells, researchers stated that a great potential has emerged. Catharina Svanborg, professor of clinical immunology at Lund University in Sweden, headed the research team that discovered these miraculous secrets of mother’s milk. 8 This team at Lund University have described the way that mother’s milk provides protection against many forms of cancer as a miraculous discovery.
Initially, researchers treated intestinal mucous cells taken from new-born babies with mother’s milk. They observed that the disorder caused by the bacterium Pneumococcus and known as pneumonia was efficiently halted by mother’s milk. What is more, babies fed on mother’s milk encounter far fewer hearing difficulties than those fed on formula and suffer far fewer respiratory infections. After a series of studies, it was shown that mother’s milk also provides protection against cancer. After showing that the incidence of the lymph cancer observed in childhood was nine times greater in formula-fed children, they realised that the same results applied to other forms of cancer. According to the results, mother’s milk accurately locates the cancer cells and later destroys them. It is a substance called alpha-lac (alphalactalbumin), present in large quantities in mother’s milk, that locates and kills the cancer cells. Alpha-lac is produced by a protein that assists in the manufacture of the sugar lactose in the milk.9
This Matchless Blessing Is a Gift from Allah:
Another miraculous feature of mother’s milk is the fact that it is exceedingly beneficial for the baby to be fed with it for two years. 10 This important information, only recently discovered by science, was revealed by Allah fourteen centuries ago in the verse: “Mothers should nurse their children for two full years—those who wish to complete the full term of nursing…” (Qur’an, 2:233)
In the same way that the mother does not decide to produce milk, the most ideal source of nourishment for the helpless baby in need of feeding in her body, neither does she decide on the various nutritional levels within it. It is Almighty Allah, Who knows the needs of and displays mercy to every living thing, Who creates mother’s milk for the baby in the mother’s body.
Footnotes:
1- “High-Risk Newborn—The Benefits of Mother’s Own Milk” University of Utah Health Sciences Center,
2- Ibid.
3- C. Billeaud, et al., European Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 1997, vol. 51, 520-526.
4- "Breast milk 'does cut heart risk," 1 March 2004, .
5- "Breast milk helps reduce obesity" 2 May 2004,
6- Ibid.
7- Tim Whitmire, “IQ Gain from Breastfeeding”.
8- “Breakthrough in Cancer Research” .
9- Peter Radetsky, "Human Breast Milk Kills Cancer Cells," Discover 20, No. 06, June 1999.
Polygyny Not Polygamy
Webster’s New World Dictionary defines polygamy as "the practice of having two or more wives or husbands at the same time." Since Muslim women are not allowed to have two or more husbands, let’s find a better word: polygyny. The same dictionary defines polygyny as "a practice of having two or more wives at the same time."
Polygyny
Polygyny was practiced, often without limitations, in almost all cultures. Various religions approved of it and practiced it before and after Islam. Several of the Prophets, mentioned in the Torah and the Bible, had more than one wife. Today it is being secretly practiced by at least 30,000 middle-class Mormons in the USA. However, it is no secret that polygyny of another sort is also being practiced in America and Europe: the practice of having a mistress or mistresses. The difference is that while the non-Muslim male has no legal obligations or responsibilities towards his second, third or fourth mistresses and their children, a Muslim husband has complete legal obligations and responsibilities towards his second, third, or fourth wife and their children.
In Islam, there is no doubt that a second wife, who is legally married and treated kindly, is better off than a mistress who has no legal rights. In addition, the legitimate child of a polygynous father, who has all the rights and privileges of a son or daughter, is better off than the unwanted or wanted illegitimate child.
As for possible reasons why polygyny is allowed in Islam, one should keep in mind that Islam is very practical in the way that it addresses life’s problems. It is a fact that wars usually take their toll mainly on men, leaving behind widows and women who can not find husbands. Polygyny provides a solution to this problem of a male shortage.
A man who discovers that his wife is barren or is chronically ill, but who wishes to have children of his own or satisfy his natural instinct in a legitimate way, while still caring for his first wife, could turn to polygyny as a solution. Allah (SWT) says in the Qur'an:
"And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice." (An-Nisa’ 4:3)
From this verse it becomes clear that polygyny is not mandatory, but is permitted and is Sunnah. Dealing justly with one’s wives is an obligation and this applies to housing, food, clothing, kind treatment, etc. If a husband is not sure of being able to deal justly with them, then he is commanded to marry only one.
Information From Questions and Answers About Women’s Rights In Islam
Compiled By Lea Zaitoun
Polygyny in Islam
There is no doubt, that no woman relishes the thought of sharing her husband with another and that plural marriages provide a bases for jealousies to arise. However, the laws of Islam always give precedence to the general welfare of society over individual discomfort or personal preferences. Hence, the Islamic marriage system includes polygyny to protect and provide for the ever present surplus or females in most human societies. The institution of polygyny in the Islamic marriage system also takes into account certain undeniable aspects of human nature which affect male-female relationships. These aspects represent the natural instincts which must be present in order for men to be prepared and able to provide for the physical and emotional needs of the surplus females in society.
Conditions That Must Be Met
Certain conditions are attached to plural marriage in Islam, in order to protect the women involved because it is invariably the women who are taken advantage of in such relationships. For example, a man may not have more than four wives at a time and each marriage contract is legal and binding, involving the same rights, responsibilities and obligations as the first contract. That is, wife number one is not the mother or chief of all subsequent wives, nor is wife number four allowed preferential treatment at the expense of the other wives. Each individual marriage contract carries the same amount of weight in an Islamic court of law and thus men are not allowed to openly attach greater importance to one at the expense of the other. Such behaviour would not be equitable treatment and might even be construed as oppression.
In fact the Prophet (SAW) was reported to have said:
"Whoever has two wives and leans unduly to one of them will come on the Day of Judgment with half of his body leaning." [Sunan Abu Dawud, Reported by Abu Hurairah (RA)]
So the man must live with all of his wives on a footing of equality and kindness. In fact, the whole question of permissibility of plural marriages in Islam is tied to a given man’s ability to deal unjustly with all his wives in terms of his time and wealth.
Love and Marriage
Love, as it is known in the West, is not a prerequisite for marriage in Islam. Hence, the concept of plural marriages does not have as emotionally devastating an effect on true Muslim women as it would have on their non-Muslim counterparts, except where western influences are great. The most important factor in a truly Islamic marriage is the piety of the partners involved. This fact was alluded to by the Prophet (SAW) in the following statement:
"A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property (wealth), her rank (lineage), her beauty and her religion. However, you should marry the one who is religious and you will be satisfied."
[Sahih Al-Bukhari, Reported by Abu Hurairah (RA)]
Besides the reasons mentioned above, a woman may also marry for other reasons, such as security, offspring and companionship. However, love usually follows marriage, so it is better to marry a religious, pious, disciplined man and love for Allah’s (SWT) pleasure rather than to develop a pre-marital romantic fixation which often fades in time due to the inevitable trials of marriage.
Due to the emphasis on romantic love within western culture, it is difficult for people (Muslims included) to comprehend the concept of love after marriage; love for the sake of Allah (SWT) and love built on the virtues of loyalty, trust and faith in Allah (SWT). According to Islamic tradition, the Prophet (SAW) and his companions married for a variety of reasons. They married widows with children, divorced women and captives of war in order to consolidate and reconcile groups to the Islamic cause, in addition to marrying for the normal reasons which men marry for.
Islam as it was revealed to the Prophet (SAW) is a complete way of life which leaves no aspect of life without regulations, enabling Muslims whether male or female to stay on the correct path. Hence, if a man is able to care for and take care of more than one wife justly, there is no sin on him if he does so. On the contrary, he should be commended for following the Sunnah of the Prophet (SAW) and fulfilling his role as a guardian of women.
Nevertheless, we must bow to the fact that love is destined by Allah (SWT) and can not be forced to appear where Allah (SWT) has not willed it. This situation is analogous to friendships which exist among members of the same sex. We admit to having or having had deeper feelings for one or more of our friends than others, due to greater similarity in interests or greater compatibility for whatever reasons. Similarly, parents may actually be fonder of one or more of their children than others among them; however, parents usually refrain from showing this inclination openly and Islam forbids it. Nonetheless, our various friendships are not negated by an inevitable greater intimacy with some of our friends over others, nor does a greater inclination toward one child negate the love that is felt for all. Man is unable to control his emotions in the ultimate sense. They arise in him when he least expects them, hence, he can not willfully decide where his heart is going to lodge. The fact that man has no real control over love and affection is supported by a number of Qur'anic verses. Allah (SWT) says:
"…and know that Allah comes in between a person and his heart…"
(Al-Anfal 8:24)
Allah (SWT) also says in the Qur'an:
"And He had united their (i.e. believers’) hearts. If you had spent all that is in the earth, you could not have united their hearts, but Allah has united them. Certainly He is All-Mighty, All-Wise." (Al-Anfal 8:63)
An illustration of this fact can be seen in a narration from Umar ibn al-Khattab (RA) in which he said,
"When I once said, ‘O Messenger of Allah (SAW), what if I went to Hafsah (RA) and said to her, do not be misled because your co-wife and neighbour [Aishah (RA)] is more beautiful and beloved to the Prophet (SAW).’ He [the Prophet (SAW)] smiled approvingly." (Sahih Al-Bukhari)
In another narration, Aishah (RA) stated,
"Allah’s Messenger (SAW) used to divide his time equally amongst us and would pray, ‘O Allah, this is my division in what I possess, so please do not hold me to blame for the division (of affection) which only You control.’" (Sunan Abu Dawud)
Both Hadiths refer to the greater feelings that the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) was known to have had for one of his wives over the others. Yet, in spite of his emotional inclinations, he divided his time and wealth equally among all of them. Thus it is recommended, based on the example of the Prophet (SAW), that all men married to more than one wife be equal in the division that they are capable of controlling, namely time and wealth.
Equitable Treatment in Regards to Time and Wealth NOT Love
The importance of equitable treatment in regard to time and wealth can not be overstressed as it is the major factor excluding the established pre-requisites for marriage, in general, that a man can weigh and assess in his day to day inter-action with his wives. Unfortunately, there are some modern day Muslims, under the influences of western thought, who have misinterpreted some Qur'anic verses in order to support their arguments for monogamy and the abolition of polygyny. However, the equality referred to in Surah An-Nisa 4:3 is referring to time and money.
"…If you fear that you will not be able to deal justly (time and money) with them then only one…"
(An-Nisa 4:3)
Whereas, the equality mentioned in Surah An-Nisa 4:129 refers to that which no man or woman has control over but which belongs exclusively to Allah’s (SWT) decree.
"…You will never be able to do perfect justice (love and sex) between wives even if it is your ardent desire." (An-Nisa 4:129)
The Prophet’s (SAW) companions, ‘Ubayadah as-Salmanee and Ibn ‘Abbas (RU), both stated that the time equality spoken of in Surah An-Nisa 4:129 refers to love and sex. Furthermore, we must take note of the fact that even the Prophet (SAW) begged pardon for that which was not in his possession, the feelings of love, affection or sympathy which were known to be greater for one of his wives than the others. Yes, Allah (SWT) allowed the Prophet (SAW) to marry a greater number of women than was allowed to ordinary Muslim men. Thus any attempt to forbid polygyny on the basis that a man might love one of the women more than the others is futile and baseless because this factor can not be used as a gauge for justice in Islamic plural marriages.
Time Division
The division of time amongst the wives according to Islamic law is generally made according to the nights, due to the fact that night is usually the time in which mankind relaxes from work and takes rest. During the night, people take refuge in their homes from the struggles of the outside world and men and women spend their most intimate time together.
Thus a man married to more than one wife should divide the nights among his wives while the day is his to earn a living, to take care of other people’s needs or whatever else a man wishes to do as long as it is lawful. Whatever a man’s profession might be, he will probably be engaged in it during a major portion of the day. The division of time is based on the time period allotted to sleep or rest.
The resting periods must be divided equally among the wives. A man may divide the nights by giving one to each wife according to the Prophet’s (SAW) practice; however, he may also divide them on the basis of two to each or three to each wife. If, however, a man has four wives it would be preferable to divide his time on the basis of one night each, whereby, each wife would get a chance to be with her husband every three days. A division on the basis of two nights would mean that each wife would only be with the husband after an interlude of six days. Under normal circumstances, the day up until Maghrib (setting of the sun and the time of the fourth daily prayer) is considered a part of the previous night which started at Maghrib on the previous day according to the lunar calendar.
Time Rights of a New Wife
The extra free time for acquaintance given to the virgin bride is obviously needed due to the newness of marriage and sex to her, whereas the previously married bride in most cases is familiar with both and needs only a chance to become familiar with her new partner. However, the option of seven days is also given for the widow or divorcee in order to allow for cases wherein marriage and sex may be as new to her as to the virgin. This applies in cases where her previous marriage was extremely short or even unconsummated or the lapse of time between her previous marriage and her re-marriage was great. When an already married man marries a new wife, he is allowed by law an acquaintance period with his new wife of seven consecutive days if she is a virgin and three days if she has been married previously. He does this without making up the time for the remaining wife or wives. This law is based on the Sahaba, Anas’ (RA) report, "It is from the Sunnah. The Prophet’s (SAW) said,
"If a man marries a virgin then he stays with the virgin wife for seven days and then divides his time equally after that. And, if he marries a woman who was previously married, not a virgin, he should stay with her for three days then divide his time equally." (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
However, if the previously married new wife requests seven days for herself, he may also do that but he must make up the full time with the other wives. Abu Bakr ibn al-Harith reported that on the following morning after the Prophet (SAW) married Umm Salamah (RA), he said to her,
"Do not feel that you are unimportant among your people, for if you wish, I will spend seven days (with you) and spend seven with the rest of my wives or if you wish, I will spend three days with you and divide the time equally after that." She replied, "Make it three." (Sahih Muslim)
Thus as soon as the new wife has been given her time right, the husband is obliged to begin dividing his time equally among the remaining wives, by drawing lots to determine with whom he will start.
Giving Up Division Rights
A wife may give up her division right to her husband, to some of his wives or all of his wives if the husband agrees. Since it is his right to take pleasure from her, it must be with his agreement. This principle is based upon the fact that Sawdah (RA) [one of the Prophet’s (SAW) wives] gave her day to Aishah (RA) [another one of the Prophet’s (SAW) wives]. So the Prophet (SAW) used to add the time originally allotted to Sawdah (RA) to Aishah’s (RA) time. It is narrated that when Sawdah bint Zam’ah (RA) became old and feared that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) might divorce her, she said,
"O Messenger of Allah (SAW), I give my day to Aishah." And, he accepted it. (Sunan Abu Dawud)
If the day which is given precedes or follows the day of the wife to whom the day is given, the husband may stay with that wife for two consecutive days. But if the other wives have days in between, the husband is not allowed to put the days together without the permission of the other wives. If the right is given to the husband, he may give it anyone of the wives he wishes to. However, if a wife gives up her time without giving it to another wife or to her husband, he has to divide his time equally among the remaining wives. What is more, the wife who has given up her turn may ask for it back whenever she wishes but she has no right to what has already passed.
Residence Rights
It is preferable that each wife have separate living quarters in which the husband visits her because that was the way Allah’s Messenger (SAW) divided his time. In view of this fact, a husband should NOT put his wives in the same house unless they agree to a communal arrangement or the house is divided into distinct and separate apartments such as might be found in a duplex. It makes no difference whether the house is large or small if kitchen, bathroom and other facilities are shared, because living together constitutes a type of hardship on women due to the natural jealousies which are likely to arise among them. Such living arrangements often lead to arguments and fighting which obliterate the apparent economic benefits of living together. The wives may experience jealousy when he goes to either of them or they may imagine preferences which could lead one or more of them to experience emotional harm or inhibition. Nevertheless if they agree, it is permissible because it is their right to decide.
Travel Rights
If the husband wishes to travel and wants to or is only able to take some of his wives with him, he has to choose among them by drawing lots as all of them have equal rights to travel with him if they wish. This principle is based on the Prophet’s (SAW) practice as narrated by his wife, Aishah (RA), wherein she said,
"Whenever the Prophet (SAW) wanted to travel, he used to draw lots among his wives and the wife whose lot came out would travel with him." (Sahih Al-Bukhari)
The husband is then not required to make up the time spent on the trip of the wife or wives who did not travel, regardless of the length of the trip. Al-Bukhari’s collection of Hadiths further mentions that on one occasion the lots came to Aishah (RA) and Hafsah (RA). However, if he takes two wives on a trip with him by drawing lots, he has to treat them equally in all the previously mentioned aspects of division.
Spending and Clothing Rights
It is not necessary for a husband to provide his new wife with all the luxuries already possessed by his other wives right away. However, he is required to provide her with the basic necessities according to his means and social status. He may, if he chooses to, provide her with any amounts of gifts as part of her dowry. However, after marriage all gifts must be balanced.
Personal allowances are not a requirement according to the Islamic law. However, if the husband decides to give one of his wives an allowance, he should give the others the same. Similarly, gifts should be balanced. However, if he buys earrings for one and the other has no desire for earrings, he should give the cost of the earrings to her or buy her something else of equivalent value. Spending for children is not included in the division of wealth among wives. Hence, it goes without saying that if one wife has seven children and the other wife has two that the husband must spend more in terms of food and clothing for the larger family.
Information taken from Polygamy in Islam By Abu Ameenah Bilal Phillips and Jameelah Jones
Polygyny
Polygyny was practiced, often without limitations, in almost all cultures. Various religions approved of it and practiced it before and after Islam. Several of the Prophets, mentioned in the Torah and the Bible, had more than one wife. Today it is being secretly practiced by at least 30,000 middle-class Mormons in the USA. However, it is no secret that polygyny of another sort is also being practiced in America and Europe: the practice of having a mistress or mistresses. The difference is that while the non-Muslim male has no legal obligations or responsibilities towards his second, third or fourth mistresses and their children, a Muslim husband has complete legal obligations and responsibilities towards his second, third, or fourth wife and their children.
In Islam, there is no doubt that a second wife, who is legally married and treated kindly, is better off than a mistress who has no legal rights. In addition, the legitimate child of a polygynous father, who has all the rights and privileges of a son or daughter, is better off than the unwanted or wanted illegitimate child.
As for possible reasons why polygyny is allowed in Islam, one should keep in mind that Islam is very practical in the way that it addresses life’s problems. It is a fact that wars usually take their toll mainly on men, leaving behind widows and women who can not find husbands. Polygyny provides a solution to this problem of a male shortage.
A man who discovers that his wife is barren or is chronically ill, but who wishes to have children of his own or satisfy his natural instinct in a legitimate way, while still caring for his first wife, could turn to polygyny as a solution. Allah (SWT) says in the Qur'an:
"And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice." (An-Nisa’ 4:3)
From this verse it becomes clear that polygyny is not mandatory, but is permitted and is Sunnah. Dealing justly with one’s wives is an obligation and this applies to housing, food, clothing, kind treatment, etc. If a husband is not sure of being able to deal justly with them, then he is commanded to marry only one.
Information From Questions and Answers About Women’s Rights In Islam
Compiled By Lea Zaitoun
Polygyny in Islam
There is no doubt, that no woman relishes the thought of sharing her husband with another and that plural marriages provide a bases for jealousies to arise. However, the laws of Islam always give precedence to the general welfare of society over individual discomfort or personal preferences. Hence, the Islamic marriage system includes polygyny to protect and provide for the ever present surplus or females in most human societies. The institution of polygyny in the Islamic marriage system also takes into account certain undeniable aspects of human nature which affect male-female relationships. These aspects represent the natural instincts which must be present in order for men to be prepared and able to provide for the physical and emotional needs of the surplus females in society.
Conditions That Must Be Met
Certain conditions are attached to plural marriage in Islam, in order to protect the women involved because it is invariably the women who are taken advantage of in such relationships. For example, a man may not have more than four wives at a time and each marriage contract is legal and binding, involving the same rights, responsibilities and obligations as the first contract. That is, wife number one is not the mother or chief of all subsequent wives, nor is wife number four allowed preferential treatment at the expense of the other wives. Each individual marriage contract carries the same amount of weight in an Islamic court of law and thus men are not allowed to openly attach greater importance to one at the expense of the other. Such behaviour would not be equitable treatment and might even be construed as oppression.
In fact the Prophet (SAW) was reported to have said:
"Whoever has two wives and leans unduly to one of them will come on the Day of Judgment with half of his body leaning." [Sunan Abu Dawud, Reported by Abu Hurairah (RA)]
So the man must live with all of his wives on a footing of equality and kindness. In fact, the whole question of permissibility of plural marriages in Islam is tied to a given man’s ability to deal unjustly with all his wives in terms of his time and wealth.
Love and Marriage
Love, as it is known in the West, is not a prerequisite for marriage in Islam. Hence, the concept of plural marriages does not have as emotionally devastating an effect on true Muslim women as it would have on their non-Muslim counterparts, except where western influences are great. The most important factor in a truly Islamic marriage is the piety of the partners involved. This fact was alluded to by the Prophet (SAW) in the following statement:
"A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property (wealth), her rank (lineage), her beauty and her religion. However, you should marry the one who is religious and you will be satisfied."
[Sahih Al-Bukhari, Reported by Abu Hurairah (RA)]
Besides the reasons mentioned above, a woman may also marry for other reasons, such as security, offspring and companionship. However, love usually follows marriage, so it is better to marry a religious, pious, disciplined man and love for Allah’s (SWT) pleasure rather than to develop a pre-marital romantic fixation which often fades in time due to the inevitable trials of marriage.
Due to the emphasis on romantic love within western culture, it is difficult for people (Muslims included) to comprehend the concept of love after marriage; love for the sake of Allah (SWT) and love built on the virtues of loyalty, trust and faith in Allah (SWT). According to Islamic tradition, the Prophet (SAW) and his companions married for a variety of reasons. They married widows with children, divorced women and captives of war in order to consolidate and reconcile groups to the Islamic cause, in addition to marrying for the normal reasons which men marry for.
Islam as it was revealed to the Prophet (SAW) is a complete way of life which leaves no aspect of life without regulations, enabling Muslims whether male or female to stay on the correct path. Hence, if a man is able to care for and take care of more than one wife justly, there is no sin on him if he does so. On the contrary, he should be commended for following the Sunnah of the Prophet (SAW) and fulfilling his role as a guardian of women.
Nevertheless, we must bow to the fact that love is destined by Allah (SWT) and can not be forced to appear where Allah (SWT) has not willed it. This situation is analogous to friendships which exist among members of the same sex. We admit to having or having had deeper feelings for one or more of our friends than others, due to greater similarity in interests or greater compatibility for whatever reasons. Similarly, parents may actually be fonder of one or more of their children than others among them; however, parents usually refrain from showing this inclination openly and Islam forbids it. Nonetheless, our various friendships are not negated by an inevitable greater intimacy with some of our friends over others, nor does a greater inclination toward one child negate the love that is felt for all. Man is unable to control his emotions in the ultimate sense. They arise in him when he least expects them, hence, he can not willfully decide where his heart is going to lodge. The fact that man has no real control over love and affection is supported by a number of Qur'anic verses. Allah (SWT) says:
"…and know that Allah comes in between a person and his heart…"
(Al-Anfal 8:24)
Allah (SWT) also says in the Qur'an:
"And He had united their (i.e. believers’) hearts. If you had spent all that is in the earth, you could not have united their hearts, but Allah has united them. Certainly He is All-Mighty, All-Wise." (Al-Anfal 8:63)
An illustration of this fact can be seen in a narration from Umar ibn al-Khattab (RA) in which he said,
"When I once said, ‘O Messenger of Allah (SAW), what if I went to Hafsah (RA) and said to her, do not be misled because your co-wife and neighbour [Aishah (RA)] is more beautiful and beloved to the Prophet (SAW).’ He [the Prophet (SAW)] smiled approvingly." (Sahih Al-Bukhari)
In another narration, Aishah (RA) stated,
"Allah’s Messenger (SAW) used to divide his time equally amongst us and would pray, ‘O Allah, this is my division in what I possess, so please do not hold me to blame for the division (of affection) which only You control.’" (Sunan Abu Dawud)
Both Hadiths refer to the greater feelings that the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) was known to have had for one of his wives over the others. Yet, in spite of his emotional inclinations, he divided his time and wealth equally among all of them. Thus it is recommended, based on the example of the Prophet (SAW), that all men married to more than one wife be equal in the division that they are capable of controlling, namely time and wealth.
Equitable Treatment in Regards to Time and Wealth NOT Love
The importance of equitable treatment in regard to time and wealth can not be overstressed as it is the major factor excluding the established pre-requisites for marriage, in general, that a man can weigh and assess in his day to day inter-action with his wives. Unfortunately, there are some modern day Muslims, under the influences of western thought, who have misinterpreted some Qur'anic verses in order to support their arguments for monogamy and the abolition of polygyny. However, the equality referred to in Surah An-Nisa 4:3 is referring to time and money.
"…If you fear that you will not be able to deal justly (time and money) with them then only one…"
(An-Nisa 4:3)
Whereas, the equality mentioned in Surah An-Nisa 4:129 refers to that which no man or woman has control over but which belongs exclusively to Allah’s (SWT) decree.
"…You will never be able to do perfect justice (love and sex) between wives even if it is your ardent desire." (An-Nisa 4:129)
The Prophet’s (SAW) companions, ‘Ubayadah as-Salmanee and Ibn ‘Abbas (RU), both stated that the time equality spoken of in Surah An-Nisa 4:129 refers to love and sex. Furthermore, we must take note of the fact that even the Prophet (SAW) begged pardon for that which was not in his possession, the feelings of love, affection or sympathy which were known to be greater for one of his wives than the others. Yes, Allah (SWT) allowed the Prophet (SAW) to marry a greater number of women than was allowed to ordinary Muslim men. Thus any attempt to forbid polygyny on the basis that a man might love one of the women more than the others is futile and baseless because this factor can not be used as a gauge for justice in Islamic plural marriages.
Time Division
The division of time amongst the wives according to Islamic law is generally made according to the nights, due to the fact that night is usually the time in which mankind relaxes from work and takes rest. During the night, people take refuge in their homes from the struggles of the outside world and men and women spend their most intimate time together.
Thus a man married to more than one wife should divide the nights among his wives while the day is his to earn a living, to take care of other people’s needs or whatever else a man wishes to do as long as it is lawful. Whatever a man’s profession might be, he will probably be engaged in it during a major portion of the day. The division of time is based on the time period allotted to sleep or rest.
The resting periods must be divided equally among the wives. A man may divide the nights by giving one to each wife according to the Prophet’s (SAW) practice; however, he may also divide them on the basis of two to each or three to each wife. If, however, a man has four wives it would be preferable to divide his time on the basis of one night each, whereby, each wife would get a chance to be with her husband every three days. A division on the basis of two nights would mean that each wife would only be with the husband after an interlude of six days. Under normal circumstances, the day up until Maghrib (setting of the sun and the time of the fourth daily prayer) is considered a part of the previous night which started at Maghrib on the previous day according to the lunar calendar.
Time Rights of a New Wife
The extra free time for acquaintance given to the virgin bride is obviously needed due to the newness of marriage and sex to her, whereas the previously married bride in most cases is familiar with both and needs only a chance to become familiar with her new partner. However, the option of seven days is also given for the widow or divorcee in order to allow for cases wherein marriage and sex may be as new to her as to the virgin. This applies in cases where her previous marriage was extremely short or even unconsummated or the lapse of time between her previous marriage and her re-marriage was great. When an already married man marries a new wife, he is allowed by law an acquaintance period with his new wife of seven consecutive days if she is a virgin and three days if she has been married previously. He does this without making up the time for the remaining wife or wives. This law is based on the Sahaba, Anas’ (RA) report, "It is from the Sunnah. The Prophet’s (SAW) said,
"If a man marries a virgin then he stays with the virgin wife for seven days and then divides his time equally after that. And, if he marries a woman who was previously married, not a virgin, he should stay with her for three days then divide his time equally." (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
However, if the previously married new wife requests seven days for herself, he may also do that but he must make up the full time with the other wives. Abu Bakr ibn al-Harith reported that on the following morning after the Prophet (SAW) married Umm Salamah (RA), he said to her,
"Do not feel that you are unimportant among your people, for if you wish, I will spend seven days (with you) and spend seven with the rest of my wives or if you wish, I will spend three days with you and divide the time equally after that." She replied, "Make it three." (Sahih Muslim)
Thus as soon as the new wife has been given her time right, the husband is obliged to begin dividing his time equally among the remaining wives, by drawing lots to determine with whom he will start.
Giving Up Division Rights
A wife may give up her division right to her husband, to some of his wives or all of his wives if the husband agrees. Since it is his right to take pleasure from her, it must be with his agreement. This principle is based upon the fact that Sawdah (RA) [one of the Prophet’s (SAW) wives] gave her day to Aishah (RA) [another one of the Prophet’s (SAW) wives]. So the Prophet (SAW) used to add the time originally allotted to Sawdah (RA) to Aishah’s (RA) time. It is narrated that when Sawdah bint Zam’ah (RA) became old and feared that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) might divorce her, she said,
"O Messenger of Allah (SAW), I give my day to Aishah." And, he accepted it. (Sunan Abu Dawud)
If the day which is given precedes or follows the day of the wife to whom the day is given, the husband may stay with that wife for two consecutive days. But if the other wives have days in between, the husband is not allowed to put the days together without the permission of the other wives. If the right is given to the husband, he may give it anyone of the wives he wishes to. However, if a wife gives up her time without giving it to another wife or to her husband, he has to divide his time equally among the remaining wives. What is more, the wife who has given up her turn may ask for it back whenever she wishes but she has no right to what has already passed.
Residence Rights
It is preferable that each wife have separate living quarters in which the husband visits her because that was the way Allah’s Messenger (SAW) divided his time. In view of this fact, a husband should NOT put his wives in the same house unless they agree to a communal arrangement or the house is divided into distinct and separate apartments such as might be found in a duplex. It makes no difference whether the house is large or small if kitchen, bathroom and other facilities are shared, because living together constitutes a type of hardship on women due to the natural jealousies which are likely to arise among them. Such living arrangements often lead to arguments and fighting which obliterate the apparent economic benefits of living together. The wives may experience jealousy when he goes to either of them or they may imagine preferences which could lead one or more of them to experience emotional harm or inhibition. Nevertheless if they agree, it is permissible because it is their right to decide.
Travel Rights
If the husband wishes to travel and wants to or is only able to take some of his wives with him, he has to choose among them by drawing lots as all of them have equal rights to travel with him if they wish. This principle is based on the Prophet’s (SAW) practice as narrated by his wife, Aishah (RA), wherein she said,
"Whenever the Prophet (SAW) wanted to travel, he used to draw lots among his wives and the wife whose lot came out would travel with him." (Sahih Al-Bukhari)
The husband is then not required to make up the time spent on the trip of the wife or wives who did not travel, regardless of the length of the trip. Al-Bukhari’s collection of Hadiths further mentions that on one occasion the lots came to Aishah (RA) and Hafsah (RA). However, if he takes two wives on a trip with him by drawing lots, he has to treat them equally in all the previously mentioned aspects of division.
Spending and Clothing Rights
It is not necessary for a husband to provide his new wife with all the luxuries already possessed by his other wives right away. However, he is required to provide her with the basic necessities according to his means and social status. He may, if he chooses to, provide her with any amounts of gifts as part of her dowry. However, after marriage all gifts must be balanced.
Personal allowances are not a requirement according to the Islamic law. However, if the husband decides to give one of his wives an allowance, he should give the others the same. Similarly, gifts should be balanced. However, if he buys earrings for one and the other has no desire for earrings, he should give the cost of the earrings to her or buy her something else of equivalent value. Spending for children is not included in the division of wealth among wives. Hence, it goes without saying that if one wife has seven children and the other wife has two that the husband must spend more in terms of food and clothing for the larger family.
Information taken from Polygamy in Islam By Abu Ameenah Bilal Phillips and Jameelah Jones
Marriage in Islam
The family is that brick which forms the foundation of a society. It is composed of individuals that have permanent relation established between them.
Most importantly, it possesses almost a majority of the different kinds of personal relations. Because of this, there must be certain etiquettes placed in order to control and regulate these relations.
In the context of marriage there is one very important difference between man and women: women are the ones who can bear and nurse children. This is an extremely important responsibility. On the other hand Islam assigned the husbands the responsibility of financially supporting their wives. This allows women to concentrate on what is really important, their families. And then men are also given the position of leadership to balance their greater responsibility of support. The husband and the wife are a complementary pair. Each has his own designated role and responsibilities. Together they complete the family. And that's why Islam has set the basics on which marriage should be built.
Allah says in the Qur'an:
"Men are the supporters of women, because Allah has stowed on the one more than the other, and for what they have to provide (for them) from their sources. So the righteous women are obedient and protect in the absence of their husbands that which God ordains to be protected."(Qur'an 4:34)
There is much debate and difference of opinion among Muslims regarding the right meaning of this verse. Some people read it to give a great deal of power and authority to the husbands; others seek to place restrictions on men.
The reason that men have been given authority over their wives is that they are completely financially responsible for their wives. Even if a woman is wealthy, she is not required to spend any of her money to support the family; the obligation falls completely on her husband. She may share him the responsibility if she wants, but this is not an obligation. Her own money is hers to use as she chooses and her husband can't take it without her permission.
Allah says in the Qur'an:
"And give the women their dowries as a present, but if they are happy to offer you any of it, accept with happiness and with wholesome pleasure" (Qur'an 4:4)
However the wife must obey her husband and support him. But this doesn't mean that "obedience" referred to is not unquestioning obedience to whatever command the husband happens to give, but rather refers to accepting the husband's decision as final.
Allah says in the Qur'an:
"And the believing men and the believing women, they are the friends of each other, they enjoin good and forbid evil, and establish prayers, and pay the alms, and obey God and His Messenger, these, upon them God will have mercy, indeed, God is almighty, All-wise." (Qur'an 9:71)
Obedience of the husband is compulsory on the wife. If, without any lawful reason, she refuses to obey the orders of her husband, she will be liable to the Wrath and Curse of Allah until she returns to obedience.
The husband is given the permission in Islam to hit his wife (slightly) or stays away from her if she is recalcitrant. Nearly all modern Islamic scholars have agreed that these three steps must be taken in sequence. Meaning: first the husband sets out verbally why he thinks his wife's conduct is wrong. If that doesn't then he may separate from her in bed. If that still doesn't work, then finally he may hit her (yet not harshly, just slightly to show her that she did something wrong).
However, "recalcitrance" is not simply disagreeing with the husband; it is rather a refusal to agree, a rejection of the husband's right to leadership.
Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said:
"The rights your wife has on you are) that you feed her when you eat and clothe her when you clothe yourself and that you do not hit her on the face or call her ugly, and that you do not separate from her except in the house."(Narrated by Mu'awiya Al-Qushayri.
Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) also said:
"Be in awe of God in (the matter of) women, for you have taken them by the trust of God, and made their bodies lawful for you by the word of God. And your right upon them is that they do not allow among your furnishings anybody you do not like, and if they do, you may hit them, as long as it is not injurious. And their right on you is that you support them and clothe them in honor."(From the Farewell Sermon, reported by Jabir).
Here we learn that the admonishment should not involve insulting the wife, such as calling her ugly or other types of psychological abuse. Also separating from her or staying away from her is done only in private; the husband should not shun his wife in public and thus expose her to shame or ridicule from others. The hitting must not be on the face. The hitting should not be "injurious". Muslims should follow the Prophet's (PBUH) explanation of the Holy Qur'an and to abide by these rules.
However, it should be noted that Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) never hit any of his wives, and said that men who did "are not the best of you, by God!" The Prophet (PBUH) is set as a beautiful example for Muslims and all Muslim men should strive to follow him.
Allah says in the Qur'an:
"Surely there is for you the best example in the Messenger of God, for whoever seeks the pleasure of God and the Last Day (Day of Judgment), and remembers God often."(Qur'an 33:21)
On the other hand wives have been given permission to seek remedy for their husbands' recalcitrance. The Arabic word, Nushuz, is used as for the wife's recalcitrance. Allah says in the Qur'an:
"And if a wife fears cruelty or desertion from her husband, there is no blame on them if they reconciliate them, reconciliation between them is far better, and souls are prone to avarice. But if you do good and are God fearing then surely God is aware of what you do-" (Qur'an 4:128)
And if there is a dispute between the married couple, a member of each family can be brought in to resolve it. The point is that, in Islam women have rights over their husbands the same way husbands have rights over them.
Allah says in the Qur'an:
"And if you fear disunity between them, then send an arbiter from his side and an arbiter from her side. If they wish for reconciliation God will affect harmony between them, surely God is All-knowing, Al-Aware." (Qur'an 4:35)
Now let's bring some more focus on how the husband should treat his wife as God has asked Muslim men to:
It is not demeaning if the husband shares in the responsibility of house matters, such as the mending of garments or things of the kind. Also it shows good manners that the husband helps his wife in the house, during times of necessity, such as when she is sick, pregnant, has just gave birth or similar to that. For Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) used to fix his shoes, and used to be helpful to his wives.
Al-Aswad narrated: "I asked Aicha, `What did the Prophet, peace be upon him, do at home?' She said, `He used to work for his family and when he heard the call for the prayer, he would go out.'" [Bukhari].
A good husband is he who cooperates with his wife by being tender and kind to her. Islam considers husbands who are best at helping their wives are the best of mankind.
Also the husband should set a specific time in which he can play around and pass free time with his wife. The relationship between a married couple cannot be warm and stable unless the couple begins removing all the obstacles and impediments that stand between them. For example, the husband should not feel timid and restrain himself from drinking out of the same cup that his wife drinks out of, it shows her that he loves her.
Also, let's keep in mind that nobody is perfect. So there is no doubt that the husband will see things in his wife that does not meet his natural preferences. If such qualities are not opposing the fundaments of the Islam or to the obedience of the husband and his rights, then at that point, he should not push her to change her personality so that it complies with his natural preference.
Islam states that a husband should not try to expose his wife's bad qualities, for too much blaming and reprimanding will worsen the relationship between them, and will surely threaten their marital life. So the husband should overlook his wife's drawbacks and mistakes, and make her falling into them seem like something small.
Also the husband should not give little importance to implementing the punishment required for any acts in opposition to Islam, which a wife has committed, whether it is in the home or outside it. This should be the main reason that stirs the husband's anger.
The woman is the head of the house, the one responsible for it. So the husband should not meddle into affairs that do not fall into his area of duties and responsibilities, such as the food and the order of the house.
Also Islam forbids the husband fro scolding his wife or blame her for a mistake she made, in front of others, even if they are their own children.
Abu Hurairah narrated that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: "The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition and the best of you are those who are best to their wives."
Having jealousy and caring about the modesty of the wife is a praiseworthy thing, which shows the husband's love and care for her, provided that the husband does not go to extremes in his jealousy. For then at that point, it would turn into something negative and will badly affect their life.
Moreover the husband should not enter the house suddenly, for he might shock his wife, he should prepare her for his coming, and when he comes in he should greet her with Salaam (Islam greeting).
Aicha (one of Prophet Mohammad's wives) has narrated that Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) would enter the house with a pleasing disposition and a smile on his lips.
And ask about her and how she is doing.
Also husbands and wives should beware of spreading any secrets connected with the intimate encounters they have with each other, for that is something forbidden in Islam.
The husband is also asked to take care of the way he looks the way the wife is asked to look beautiful in the eyes of her husband. The husband should constantly maintain the cleaning of his mouth and the freshening of his breath.
Showing respect and kindness to the wife's family is showing respect and kindness to her. And this applies even after her death.
When a husband speaks to his wife, he must choose the kindest and nicest words and expressions for his speech. And not to reprimand her in front of others or in front of the children. Same thing goes for the wife; she should be kind and talk to her husband using nice and sweet words.
Also it is not proper for a husband to force his wife to look for work or to spend her wealth on supporting the house, for this is his responsibility.
Most importantly, it possesses almost a majority of the different kinds of personal relations. Because of this, there must be certain etiquettes placed in order to control and regulate these relations.
In the context of marriage there is one very important difference between man and women: women are the ones who can bear and nurse children. This is an extremely important responsibility. On the other hand Islam assigned the husbands the responsibility of financially supporting their wives. This allows women to concentrate on what is really important, their families. And then men are also given the position of leadership to balance their greater responsibility of support. The husband and the wife are a complementary pair. Each has his own designated role and responsibilities. Together they complete the family. And that's why Islam has set the basics on which marriage should be built.
Allah says in the Qur'an:
"Men are the supporters of women, because Allah has stowed on the one more than the other, and for what they have to provide (for them) from their sources. So the righteous women are obedient and protect in the absence of their husbands that which God ordains to be protected."(Qur'an 4:34)
There is much debate and difference of opinion among Muslims regarding the right meaning of this verse. Some people read it to give a great deal of power and authority to the husbands; others seek to place restrictions on men.
The reason that men have been given authority over their wives is that they are completely financially responsible for their wives. Even if a woman is wealthy, she is not required to spend any of her money to support the family; the obligation falls completely on her husband. She may share him the responsibility if she wants, but this is not an obligation. Her own money is hers to use as she chooses and her husband can't take it without her permission.
Allah says in the Qur'an:
"And give the women their dowries as a present, but if they are happy to offer you any of it, accept with happiness and with wholesome pleasure" (Qur'an 4:4)
However the wife must obey her husband and support him. But this doesn't mean that "obedience" referred to is not unquestioning obedience to whatever command the husband happens to give, but rather refers to accepting the husband's decision as final.
Allah says in the Qur'an:
"And the believing men and the believing women, they are the friends of each other, they enjoin good and forbid evil, and establish prayers, and pay the alms, and obey God and His Messenger, these, upon them God will have mercy, indeed, God is almighty, All-wise." (Qur'an 9:71)
Obedience of the husband is compulsory on the wife. If, without any lawful reason, she refuses to obey the orders of her husband, she will be liable to the Wrath and Curse of Allah until she returns to obedience.
The husband is given the permission in Islam to hit his wife (slightly) or stays away from her if she is recalcitrant. Nearly all modern Islamic scholars have agreed that these three steps must be taken in sequence. Meaning: first the husband sets out verbally why he thinks his wife's conduct is wrong. If that doesn't then he may separate from her in bed. If that still doesn't work, then finally he may hit her (yet not harshly, just slightly to show her that she did something wrong).
However, "recalcitrance" is not simply disagreeing with the husband; it is rather a refusal to agree, a rejection of the husband's right to leadership.
Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said:
"The rights your wife has on you are) that you feed her when you eat and clothe her when you clothe yourself and that you do not hit her on the face or call her ugly, and that you do not separate from her except in the house."(Narrated by Mu'awiya Al-Qushayri.
Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) also said:
"Be in awe of God in (the matter of) women, for you have taken them by the trust of God, and made their bodies lawful for you by the word of God. And your right upon them is that they do not allow among your furnishings anybody you do not like, and if they do, you may hit them, as long as it is not injurious. And their right on you is that you support them and clothe them in honor."(From the Farewell Sermon, reported by Jabir).
Here we learn that the admonishment should not involve insulting the wife, such as calling her ugly or other types of psychological abuse. Also separating from her or staying away from her is done only in private; the husband should not shun his wife in public and thus expose her to shame or ridicule from others. The hitting must not be on the face. The hitting should not be "injurious". Muslims should follow the Prophet's (PBUH) explanation of the Holy Qur'an and to abide by these rules.
However, it should be noted that Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) never hit any of his wives, and said that men who did "are not the best of you, by God!" The Prophet (PBUH) is set as a beautiful example for Muslims and all Muslim men should strive to follow him.
Allah says in the Qur'an:
"Surely there is for you the best example in the Messenger of God, for whoever seeks the pleasure of God and the Last Day (Day of Judgment), and remembers God often."(Qur'an 33:21)
On the other hand wives have been given permission to seek remedy for their husbands' recalcitrance. The Arabic word, Nushuz, is used as for the wife's recalcitrance. Allah says in the Qur'an:
"And if a wife fears cruelty or desertion from her husband, there is no blame on them if they reconciliate them, reconciliation between them is far better, and souls are prone to avarice. But if you do good and are God fearing then surely God is aware of what you do-" (Qur'an 4:128)
And if there is a dispute between the married couple, a member of each family can be brought in to resolve it. The point is that, in Islam women have rights over their husbands the same way husbands have rights over them.
Allah says in the Qur'an:
"And if you fear disunity between them, then send an arbiter from his side and an arbiter from her side. If they wish for reconciliation God will affect harmony between them, surely God is All-knowing, Al-Aware." (Qur'an 4:35)
Now let's bring some more focus on how the husband should treat his wife as God has asked Muslim men to:
It is not demeaning if the husband shares in the responsibility of house matters, such as the mending of garments or things of the kind. Also it shows good manners that the husband helps his wife in the house, during times of necessity, such as when she is sick, pregnant, has just gave birth or similar to that. For Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) used to fix his shoes, and used to be helpful to his wives.
Al-Aswad narrated: "I asked Aicha, `What did the Prophet, peace be upon him, do at home?' She said, `He used to work for his family and when he heard the call for the prayer, he would go out.'" [Bukhari].
A good husband is he who cooperates with his wife by being tender and kind to her. Islam considers husbands who are best at helping their wives are the best of mankind.
Also the husband should set a specific time in which he can play around and pass free time with his wife. The relationship between a married couple cannot be warm and stable unless the couple begins removing all the obstacles and impediments that stand between them. For example, the husband should not feel timid and restrain himself from drinking out of the same cup that his wife drinks out of, it shows her that he loves her.
Also, let's keep in mind that nobody is perfect. So there is no doubt that the husband will see things in his wife that does not meet his natural preferences. If such qualities are not opposing the fundaments of the Islam or to the obedience of the husband and his rights, then at that point, he should not push her to change her personality so that it complies with his natural preference.
Islam states that a husband should not try to expose his wife's bad qualities, for too much blaming and reprimanding will worsen the relationship between them, and will surely threaten their marital life. So the husband should overlook his wife's drawbacks and mistakes, and make her falling into them seem like something small.
Also the husband should not give little importance to implementing the punishment required for any acts in opposition to Islam, which a wife has committed, whether it is in the home or outside it. This should be the main reason that stirs the husband's anger.
The woman is the head of the house, the one responsible for it. So the husband should not meddle into affairs that do not fall into his area of duties and responsibilities, such as the food and the order of the house.
Also Islam forbids the husband fro scolding his wife or blame her for a mistake she made, in front of others, even if they are their own children.
Abu Hurairah narrated that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: "The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition and the best of you are those who are best to their wives."
Having jealousy and caring about the modesty of the wife is a praiseworthy thing, which shows the husband's love and care for her, provided that the husband does not go to extremes in his jealousy. For then at that point, it would turn into something negative and will badly affect their life.
Moreover the husband should not enter the house suddenly, for he might shock his wife, he should prepare her for his coming, and when he comes in he should greet her with Salaam (Islam greeting).
Aicha (one of Prophet Mohammad's wives) has narrated that Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) would enter the house with a pleasing disposition and a smile on his lips.
And ask about her and how she is doing.
Also husbands and wives should beware of spreading any secrets connected with the intimate encounters they have with each other, for that is something forbidden in Islam.
The husband is also asked to take care of the way he looks the way the wife is asked to look beautiful in the eyes of her husband. The husband should constantly maintain the cleaning of his mouth and the freshening of his breath.
Showing respect and kindness to the wife's family is showing respect and kindness to her. And this applies even after her death.
When a husband speaks to his wife, he must choose the kindest and nicest words and expressions for his speech. And not to reprimand her in front of others or in front of the children. Same thing goes for the wife; she should be kind and talk to her husband using nice and sweet words.
Also it is not proper for a husband to force his wife to look for work or to spend her wealth on supporting the house, for this is his responsibility.
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