By Imâm Ibn al-Qayyim
Taken from ‘al-Muntaqâ min Ighâthatul Lufhân fî Masâyid ash-Shaytân’ [pp.’s 102-105] of Ibn al-Qayyim, summarised by 'Alî Hasan al-Halabî
Allâh, the Exalted said,
“Say to the believing men that they should lower their sight and guard their private parts; that will make for greater purity for them. Indeed Allâh is well acquainted with all that they do.” [an-Nûr (24):30]
So Allâh made purification and spiritual growth to be the outcome of lowering the sight and guarding the private parts. It is for this reason that lowering one’s sight from (seeing) the prohibited things necessarily leads to three benefits that carry tremendous value and are of great significance.
The First: experiencing the delight and sweetness of faith
This delight and sweetness is far greater and more desirable that which might have been attained from the object that one lowered his sight from for the sake of Allâh. Indeed, “whosoever leaves something for the sake of Allâh then Allâh, the Mighty and Magnificent, will replace it with something better than it.”[1]
The soul is a temptress and loves to look at beautiful forms and the eye is the guide of the heart. The heart commissions its guide to go and look to see what is there and when the eye informs it of a beautiful image it shudders out of love and desire for it. Frequently such inter-relations tire and wear down both the heart and the eye as is said:
When you sent your eye as a guide
For your heart one day, the object of sight fatigued you
For you saw one over whom you had no power
Neither a portion or in totality, instead you had to be patient.
Therefore when the sight is prevented from looking and investigating the heart finds relief from having to go through the arduous task of (vainly) seeking and desiring.
Whosoever lets his sight roam free will find that he is in a perpetual state of loss and anguish for sight gives birth to love (mahabbah) the starting point of which is the heart being devoted and dependant upon that which it beholds. This then intensifies to become fervent longing (sabâbah) whereby the heart becomes totally dependant and devoted to the (object of its desire). Then this further intensifies and becomes infatuation (gharâmah) which clings to the heart like the one seeking repayment of a debt clings firmly to the one who has to pay the debt. Then this intensifies and becomes passionate love (‘ishk) and this is a love that transgresses all bounds. Then this further intensifies and becomes crazed passion (shaghafa) and this is a love that encompasses every tiny part of the heart. Then this intensifies and becomes worshipful love (tatayyuma). Tatayyum means worship and it is said: tayyama Allâh i.e. he worshipped Allâh.
Hence the heart begins to worship that which is not correct for it to worship and the reason behind all of this was an illegal glance. The heart is now bound in chains whereas before it used to be the master, it is now imprisoned whereas before it was free. It has been oppressed by the eye and it complains to it upon which the eye replies: I am your guide and messenger and it was you who sent me in the first place!
All that has been mentioned applies to the heart that has relinquished the love of Allâh and being sincere to Him for indeed the heart must have an object of love that it devotes itself to. Therefore when the heart does not love Allâh Alone and does not take Him as its God then it must worship something else.
Allâh said concerning Yûsuf as-Siddîq (AS),
“Thus (did We order) so that We might turn away from him all evil and indecent actions for he was one of Our sincere servants.” [Yûsuf (12):24]
It was because the wife of al-‘Azîz was a polytheist that (the passionate love) entered her heart despite her being married. It was because Yûsuf (AS) was sincere to Allâh that he was saved from it despite his being a young man, unmarried and a servant.
The Second: the illumination of the heart, clear perception and penetrating insight
Ibn Shujâ` al-Kirmânî said, “whosoever builds his outward form upon following the Sunnah, his internal form upon perpetual contemplation and awareness of Allâh, he restrains his soul from following desires, he lowers his gaze from the forbidden things and he always eats the lawful things then his perception and insight shall never be wrong.”
Allâh mentioned the people of Lût and what they were afflicted with and then He went on to say,
“Indeed in this are signs for the Mutawassimîn.” [al-Hijr (15):75]
The Mutwassimîn are those who have clear perception and penetrating insight, those who are secure from looking at the unlawful and performing indecent acts.
Allâh said after mentioning the verse concerning lowering the sight,
“Allâh is the Light of the heavens and the earth.” [an-Nûr (24):35]
The reason behind this is that the reward is of the same type as the action. So whosoever lowers his sight from the unlawful for the sake of Allâh, the Mighty and Magnificent, He will replace it with something better than it of the same type. So just as the servant restrained the light of his eye from falling upon the unlawful, Allâh blesses the light of his sight and heart thereby making him perceive what he would not have seen and understood had he not lowered his sight.
This is a matter that the person can physically sense in himself for the heart is like a mirror and the base desires are like rust upon it. When the mirror is polished and cleaned of the rust then it will reflect the realities (haqâ‘iq) as they actually are. However if it remains rusty then it will not reflect properly and therefore its knowledge and speech will arise from conjecture and doubt.
The Third: the heart becoming strong, firm and courageous
Allâh will give it the might of aid for its strength just as He gave it the might of clear proofs for its light. Hence the heart shall combine both of these factors and as a result, Shaytân shall flee from it. It is mentioned in the narration, “whosoever opposes his base desires, the Shaytân shall flee in terror from his shade.”[2]
This is why the one who follows his base desires shall find in himself the ignominy of the soul, its being weak, feeble and contemptible. Indeed Allâh places nobility for the one who obeys Him and disgrace for the one who disobeys Him,
“So do not lose heart nor fall into despair; for you must gain mastery if you are true in faith.” [Äli Imrân (3):139]
“If any do seek for nobility and power then to Allâh belongs all nobility and power.” [Fâtir (35):10]
Meaning that whosoever seeks after disobedience and sin then Allâh, the Might and Magnificent, will humiliate the one who disobeys Him.
Some of the salaf said, “the people seek nobility and power at the door of the Kings and they will not find it except through the obedience of Allâh.”
This is because the one who obeys Allâh has taken Allâh as his friend and protector and Allâh will never humiliate the one who takes his Lord as friend and patron. In the Du‘â Qunût their occurs, “the one who You take as a friend is not humiliated and the one who You take as an enemy is not ennobled.”[3]
Notes:
[1] Reported by Ahmad [5/363], al-Marwazî in ‘Zawâ`id az-Zuhd’ [no. 412], an-Nasâ`î in ‘al-Kubrâ’ as mentioned in ‘Tuhfah al-Ashrâf’ [11/199] from one of the Companions that the Messenger of Allâh said, “indeed you will not leave anything for the sake of Allâh except that Allâh will replace it with something better than it.” The isnâd is sahîh.
[2] This is not established as a hadîth of the Prophet .
[3] Reported by Abû Dâwûd [Eng. Trans. 1/374 no. 1420], an-Nasâ`î [3/248], at-Tirmidhî [no. 464], ibn Mâjah [no. 1178], ad-Dârimî [1/311], Ahmad [1/199], ibn Khuzaymah [2/151] from al Hasan from Alî (RA).
The hadîth is sahîh. The isnâd has been criticised by many, however none of the criticisms hold. Refer to: ‘Nasb ar-Râyah’ [2/125] and ‘Talkhîs al-Habîr’ [1/247]
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Sunday, November 2, 2008
Woman Traveling Without a Chaperone
By Shaikh Sâmî al-Mâjid
The Islamic legal rulings that pertain to the daily affairs of life are always connected to the welfare of the people in their individual lives and in their relationships with each other. Such rulings, therefore, have causes that can be grasped by reason and understood in a clear and precise manner.
These rulings differ from those that pertain to acts of worship, since acts of worship are connected to the benefits of the Hereafter and our direct relationship with Allah. Such matters are generally not discernable to the human intellect. Many great scholars have tried to determine the wisdom behind why we do certain things in prayer and in pilgrimage - and quite often they have failed and said: "This is purely a matter that we must accept on faith. Allah knows best about it."
The ruling that a woman may not travel without her husband or a male escort from her immediate family (a mahram) falls under the first category of rulings. We can appreciate the reason for the prohibition. When we understand that the reason for this prohibition is the fear for her sanctity and honor and the fear that she might be taken advantage of or raped, then we know that the issue is one that needs to be weighed in light of the benefits and harm present in a given situation.
Therefore, we have the opinion in Islamic Law that it is permissible for a woman to travel without a mahram when she is reasonably assured of her safety or when traveling poses no more danger for her than staying at home. The latter situation is often the case in non-Muslim countries where walking down her own street can be more dangerous for her and full of temptation that sitting on board an airplane. The environment of an airplane is quite often safer and more wholesome than that of the neighborhood in which she lives.
From this point of departure, we shall present the evidence and juristic reasoning of the people of knowledge:
`Adî b. Hâtim relates that Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said to him: "O `Adî, have you seen al-Hîrah (a region in Iraq)."
`Adî replied: "I have not seen it, but I have heard of it."
Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said: "If you live long enough, you will see a woman departing by camel in a litter and traveling until she reaches the Ka`bah without fearing anyone but Allah."
`Adî informs us that he thought to himself: "Where are the robbers and bandits who run rampant through the land?" Then `Adî says: "I have seen a woman travel by camel litter from al-Hirâh to the Ka`bah fearing no one but Allah." [Sahîh al-Bukhârî]
This hadîth shows us that it is permissible for a woman to travel unescorted if the road is safe. Someone might argue that the statement of the Prophet (peace be upon him) is merely reporting that such a thing would one day take place, not that it is permissible. However, this argument is weak. This statement is made in a context of praising Islam and showing its future ascendancy. Therefore, it must be assumed that what is being used to indicate such praise is permissible in and of itself. Moreover, `Adî b. Hâtim saw this woman and did not condemn her action, nor did anyone else.
Al-Bâjî, in al-Muntaqâ, writes: "Perhaps what some of our scholars have said (regarding prohibition) refers only to cases where the woman is alone or with a small group. As for the great caravans and the secure major thoroughfares, they are to me no different than the places of residence that are filled with markets and merchants. In such cases, her safety is secured without the presence of a mahram or female companions. This opinion has been related to us from al-Awzâ`î."
Qâdî `Iyâd, when discussing the prohibition of a woman traveling without a mahram to escort her, says: "This refers only for a young woman. As for an older woman who is less enticing, she can travel anywhere she wants without her husband or a mahram. Ibn Daqîq al-`Id: considers this a specification of a general ruling in consideration of the meaning behind it."
The great jurists Mâlik and al`Awzâ'î - and also al-Shâfi`î in his more prevalent opinion - rule that a mahram escort is not a condition for a woman to make her obligatory pilgrimage. The only condition is that she will be safe on the journey. Al-Shâfî'î says: "Safety can be achieved by her being chaperoned by her husband or her mahram, or by the company of other trustworthy women."
Some scholars have said that if it is safe enough, she needs no one to accompany her. She can travel alone along with the caravans and be safe. This is indicated by the hadîth of `Adî that we mentioned earlier.
Permissibility is even more certain when a woman cannot find a mahram and her best interests are to be secured by her traveling. Permissibility is indisputable in cases where travel becomes a necessity for her, on account of the principle in Islamic Law that necessity makes unlawful things permissible. This is why the scholars have permitted a woman to travel unescorted to emigrate from a non-Muslim country to a Muslim one. In some situations, they even declare such a journey to be obligatory upon her.
And Allah knows best. And may the peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad.
The Islamic legal rulings that pertain to the daily affairs of life are always connected to the welfare of the people in their individual lives and in their relationships with each other. Such rulings, therefore, have causes that can be grasped by reason and understood in a clear and precise manner.
These rulings differ from those that pertain to acts of worship, since acts of worship are connected to the benefits of the Hereafter and our direct relationship with Allah. Such matters are generally not discernable to the human intellect. Many great scholars have tried to determine the wisdom behind why we do certain things in prayer and in pilgrimage - and quite often they have failed and said: "This is purely a matter that we must accept on faith. Allah knows best about it."
The ruling that a woman may not travel without her husband or a male escort from her immediate family (a mahram) falls under the first category of rulings. We can appreciate the reason for the prohibition. When we understand that the reason for this prohibition is the fear for her sanctity and honor and the fear that she might be taken advantage of or raped, then we know that the issue is one that needs to be weighed in light of the benefits and harm present in a given situation.
Therefore, we have the opinion in Islamic Law that it is permissible for a woman to travel without a mahram when she is reasonably assured of her safety or when traveling poses no more danger for her than staying at home. The latter situation is often the case in non-Muslim countries where walking down her own street can be more dangerous for her and full of temptation that sitting on board an airplane. The environment of an airplane is quite often safer and more wholesome than that of the neighborhood in which she lives.
From this point of departure, we shall present the evidence and juristic reasoning of the people of knowledge:
`Adî b. Hâtim relates that Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said to him: "O `Adî, have you seen al-Hîrah (a region in Iraq)."
`Adî replied: "I have not seen it, but I have heard of it."
Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said: "If you live long enough, you will see a woman departing by camel in a litter and traveling until she reaches the Ka`bah without fearing anyone but Allah."
`Adî informs us that he thought to himself: "Where are the robbers and bandits who run rampant through the land?" Then `Adî says: "I have seen a woman travel by camel litter from al-Hirâh to the Ka`bah fearing no one but Allah." [Sahîh al-Bukhârî]
This hadîth shows us that it is permissible for a woman to travel unescorted if the road is safe. Someone might argue that the statement of the Prophet (peace be upon him) is merely reporting that such a thing would one day take place, not that it is permissible. However, this argument is weak. This statement is made in a context of praising Islam and showing its future ascendancy. Therefore, it must be assumed that what is being used to indicate such praise is permissible in and of itself. Moreover, `Adî b. Hâtim saw this woman and did not condemn her action, nor did anyone else.
Al-Bâjî, in al-Muntaqâ, writes: "Perhaps what some of our scholars have said (regarding prohibition) refers only to cases where the woman is alone or with a small group. As for the great caravans and the secure major thoroughfares, they are to me no different than the places of residence that are filled with markets and merchants. In such cases, her safety is secured without the presence of a mahram or female companions. This opinion has been related to us from al-Awzâ`î."
Qâdî `Iyâd, when discussing the prohibition of a woman traveling without a mahram to escort her, says: "This refers only for a young woman. As for an older woman who is less enticing, she can travel anywhere she wants without her husband or a mahram. Ibn Daqîq al-`Id: considers this a specification of a general ruling in consideration of the meaning behind it."
The great jurists Mâlik and al`Awzâ'î - and also al-Shâfi`î in his more prevalent opinion - rule that a mahram escort is not a condition for a woman to make her obligatory pilgrimage. The only condition is that she will be safe on the journey. Al-Shâfî'î says: "Safety can be achieved by her being chaperoned by her husband or her mahram, or by the company of other trustworthy women."
Some scholars have said that if it is safe enough, she needs no one to accompany her. She can travel alone along with the caravans and be safe. This is indicated by the hadîth of `Adî that we mentioned earlier.
Permissibility is even more certain when a woman cannot find a mahram and her best interests are to be secured by her traveling. Permissibility is indisputable in cases where travel becomes a necessity for her, on account of the principle in Islamic Law that necessity makes unlawful things permissible. This is why the scholars have permitted a woman to travel unescorted to emigrate from a non-Muslim country to a Muslim one. In some situations, they even declare such a journey to be obligatory upon her.
And Allah knows best. And may the peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad.
A Muslim Woman and Free Time
Free Time
Everyone seems to wish they had more of it. Being a wife and the mother of seven children I have often thought to myself that if only I had some free time I would... What would I do? Here we come to a universal truth about free time. It is used in one of two ways. Either it is put to good use or it is wasted, sometimes in sinful use.
Of course, we will all agree that performing some sort of Ibadah would be the ideal use of free time. However, we often forget that the performance of Ibadah is the very reason for our life on earth. Allah (swt) says: “I have not created jinn and humans except so that they may worship Me.” [51:56]
Allah did not create humans without reason. Nor did He create them for the sake of spending their time in pointless activity. He created them for Ibadah in the complete meaning of Ibadah - worship of Him as the one Almighty Lord of the Worlds.
Ibadah refers not just to ritual, physical, and mental acts of Ibadah such as Salah, Saum, Zakah, and Hajj. These are the Arkan of Ibadah. The true and complete meaning of the word Ibadah includes much more. As Ibn Taymiyyah puts it, Ibadah is “a comprehensive word that refers to all that Allah (swt) loves and all that pleases Him.”
So how does all this tie in with a woman and free time? If we examine the question and take a deeper look at exactly how Ibadah is performed in a woman's life, the desire for “free time” takes on a new meaning.
Adh-Dhahabee related in Sayr A'laam An-Nubalaa from Asma bint Yazeed Ibn As-Sakan that she went to the Prophet (saw) and said, “O Messenger of Allah, may my father and mother be sacrificed for you. I have come to you on behalf of the women. Verily Allah has sent you to men and women. We have believed in you. We do not go out and we remain in your homes. We are your source of physical pleasure. We carry your children. A man goes out to pray Jum’ah and Jamah, and follows the Janazah. And if you go out for Hajj, or Umrah, or Jihad, we look after your wealth. We wash your clothing. We raise your children. Shall we not share in the reward?”
The Prophet (saw) turned to his Companions and said, “Have you ever heard anything a woman has said better than what she has said?” Then he said to her, “Understand O woman, and inform the other women. Indeed a woman's perfection of her relationship with her husband, her seeking his pleasure, and doing that which he approves of is equivalent to all of that.” Asma left exclaiming “Laa ilaaha illallaah.”
Here, the Prophet (saw) explains an important aspect of Ibadah which applies uniquely to women. He informs us of the way to her success and how she has been granted this distinguished form of worship, one that many of us complain about. It is equivalent to Jihad, praying Jum’ah and Jamah. It is commensurate to participating in the Janazah, performance of Hajj and Umrah.
This Ibadah is the perfection of her relationship with her husband, her seeking his pleasure, obeying him, and doing that which he approves of. It is the caring for her children and her home and remaining within her home. Allah (swt) in His incomparable mercy has provided her with other deeds which replace those deeds that men usually perform, so that she may achieve equal reward.
One might argue that most of the women participate in these actions on a daily basis, even the disbelieving women. However, the concerns of a Muslim woman are nobler. She sets her sights high in her actions. She is aware that her every act, when performed islamically, is an expression of her worship of Allah (swt).
What is it that makes a woman wish for free time? Usually it is a need for a more personal time period wherein she may direct her energies into something that she would individually benefit from and enjoy. There is nothing wrong with this and indeed, when done with the correct intention, this too falls into Ibadah.
However, the waste of free time is an evil that many of us succumb to. The world is filled with opportunities for us to waste our time. Shaytan whispers here and there and before you know it we've intended well but failed to follow through. All of us are prone to wasting our time or failing to take opportunities to use our time well.
This is how it happens:
Tasweef
Putting things off until “later”. It is very easy to fall into a rut of aspiring to do good while not putting forth a sincere effort. Success in doing good things with our time is much like repentance. Is repentance sincere if you just think about it, express your desire to repent, and then say, “Oh, maybe I'll repent next month?”
Similarly, if you wish to memorise Qur’an, or further your knowledge, but continually put your efforts on a back burner, you've fallen into Tasweef. In order to succeed at something we must first rectify our intention, then make sure that the thing we are aspiring to is in accordance with the Qur’an and Sunnah, and finally we must step forward with a firm foot. We must be serious in our commitment.
Going Out
Affairs outside our home can be harmful as well as Haram. Would you even think that going shopping could fall into this? Don't be surprised. Islam directs that a woman is primarily meant to remain in her home. She may come out for her needs. If she goes out, according to the conditions of the Shariah, for a need which her husband cannot fulfil for her, then there is nothing against that. But, sometimes we fall into a western mentality of role sharing. Now there is nothing wrong with a husband helping his wife out and vice-versa.
However, a woman taking over responsibilities of the husband with the intention of “making things easier on him” is skirting on the questionable. This is particularly so when we talk of shopping and other such needed but not always necessary tasks. A better way would be to organise herself and her household affairs and that of her children by simplifying her lifestyle and cutting back on the unnecessary.
A Muslim woman's constant going to the markets to make the household purchases and her desire to do so is wrong. Some women have no intention to purchase anything. They just want to walk around the market and see what's new. Maybe there's a new style, new material, something nice. So she has no true need to go out. And we know the Hadith of the Prophet (saw) who said, “If a woman goes out of her home Shaytan will attract attention to her presence.” [At-Tirmidhi]
Meaning he will draw attention to her presence and make use of the opportunity either in tempting her or tempting others through her. If a woman remains in her home then Shaytan cannot do this. The Prophet (saw) also said that if a woman goes out of her home she “appears in the form of a Shaytan and she leaves in the form of Shaytan.” [Muslim]
How? The scholars have said that Shaytan comes to those who are before her and make her coming out appear attractive to those who are looking. And when she leaves he makes her appear attractive to those who are present and see her leaving.
So she causes people to look at her and she causes their temptation. Allah (swt) and His Messenger (saw) have ordered us to remain in our homes and to come out only for true need to do so.
“And remain in your homes” are the words of Allah (swt) addressed to the believing women and the wives of the Prophet (saw). The word in the Ayah, “qarna” means to remain and adhere. Allah has ordered the woman to adhere, to stay, and not merely to it, in her home. She should accustom herself to staying home and not going out. And if she does go out she should feel uncomfortable in doing so.
A sign of Iman of a true believing woman is her feeling that her home is where she belongs. And a sign of a diseased heart is that of a woman who feels uncomfortable staying at home. Examine your heart for the stirrings of disease. Treat yourself by applying Allah's command. By rectifying our hearts contentment can be bred and truly appreciated.
The Telephone
Ah, the telephone. A wonderful invention it was, without doubt. It did away with a lot of travel, sending messages by hand, and unexpected visitors. But it also brought us the opportunity for wasting large blocks of our time and, sometimes, committing serious sin such as talking about things that are none of our business. A telephone does indeed fulfil a need for us as women.
It provides us with an opportunity to “visit” with our friends and family without leaving our homes. We can share a cup of tea with a friend as a relaxation from the occupation of daily chores. But, it can also steal valuable time that can be put to more beneficial use. Use it with attention and care or you will find that it will use you.
Music and Singing
Allah (swt) says: “And befool them gradually those whom you can among them with your voice, (i.e. songs, music, and any other call for Allah’s disobedience) make assaults on them with your cavalry and your infantry.” [17:64]
“And of mankind is he who purchases idle talk (music, singing, etc.)” [31:6]
In explaining this Ayah Ibn Masood said: “Wallaahi Laa ilaaha illaa huwa this refers to music and singing.” The Prophet (saw) said, “There will come among my nation a group of people making permissible the wearing of silk (for men) the drinking of wine, and the usage of musical instruments.” [Al-Bukhari]
This was pointing to the fact that such deeds were originally forbidden but would be made permissible in later times by those who stray from the correct path. I'm sure we can all agree that Allah (swt) has not forbidden a thing except for the corruption or harm that it contains.
Now, there may be Muslims that listen to music for pleasure. If you are one of them, I advise you to research the subject to learn of its impermissibility and work on your Iman. A Mumin would turn to Qur’an for such pleasure.
I like to believe that most Muslims do not listen to music but rather find it an unintentional part of their lives - on the radio, while listening to the news, computer software, and the like.
If you are truly benefiting from such things, don't fall into the neglectful habit of not turning the sound down whenever music comes on. It's so easy to do - to just sit there and think that it will stop in a minute. This occurs a lot with children, especially with computer software and video games.
If they can't use them without the sound and the sound is full of music then maybe the actual benefit should be reconsidered. Sooner or later we will tire of turning it down or having to constantly say, “Turn down the music!” And, sooner or later, we will find music a constant element of our lives. Sooner or later.
Gossip and Backbiting
Most of us have, at one time or another chewed the flesh of someone. It may have been an enemy or a friend, an acquaintance, a supervisor, or an employee, or even our own spouse or child. Gossip and backbiting are nasty deeds and they can become habitual. Though not restricted to females, it is notoriously recurrent in us. We have a reputation for it. We fall into it easily. And again, it is usually idle time, time not well spent, that is the trap laid into which we place our wagging tongues.
When we call a sister just to talk, how many times do our conversations turn to the affairs of others? When this happens do we forbid what is wrong and command what is right? Do we discuss shared secrets under the pretence of seeking advice. When we call or go to visit, do we start with good intent but fall into talk that rings with “Did you hear?” “Can you believe that she?” and “So-and-so said this and that.”
Often talk enters into the perimeters of the Haram, causing us to use our free time in an extremely detrimental way. Even our silence to its occurrence is an abuse of time for which we are accountable.
Films and Television
This is a particularly dangerous tool of learning and change. Audio/video anything has the incredible ability of making lasting impressions in the mind and upon the soul. Mannerisms, morals, and beliefs can be culled from them. If exposure is continuous the influence can begin to be seen within a very short period of time, in changes of belief as well as in the amount of time spent viewing.
Don't fool yourself into thinking that children are the only ones who are impressionable and susceptible. Adults can be just as easily influenced and addicted. Now, consider this view of films and television shows, given by the lecturer Saeed bin Misfir Al-Qahtaanee.
“A film or a show is basically a story. A liar called a writer or producer writes it. After he writes it he approaches a group of other liars and actors with the intent to perform and bring the story to life. You play this role and you perform this part. You're the mother, you play the father, you the son, and so on, and they sit together for two, three, or four months to produce the story and present it to the people. And then people spend long stretches of time sitting together following the story as if it were true while in reality it is a lie. Actually a person shouldn't even be looking at it. . . They even have a way of capturing the viewer’s attention by leaving them in suspense at the end of the show so that they will make it a point to watch the next show.”
Granted, there are possibilities for useful and permissible use of television and video. But the concern is in that which is, without question, forbidden. Ask yourself, “Am I watching or listening to things that I really, islamically, should not?” Am I using my time well in doing so?
We are left with the subject of how to use our free time beneficially. The world is filled with activities. How do we choose who, what, when, and where and at the same time reassure ourselves of why? Here are a few principles that can put some perspective and equilibrium into our lives.
Fear Allah
Place this feeling into everything that you approach in your life. Keep in mind the pillars of our Deen - not just that of Iman and Islam but particularly of Ihsan – “to worship Allah as if you see Him and, though you cannot see Him, know that He sees you.” [Mutafaqun 'alaih]
What a powerful statement! Make it words to live by. Also remember that our entire lives and the world around us is a test. Know that you will be asked how you spent your time, your money, your health, and your wealth. Allah (swt) tells us in Surah Al-Kahf: “Indeed We have made that which is on earth as an adornment for it, in order that We may test them (mankind) as to which of them are best in deeds.” [18:7]
Pay attention to your life and the outlook you put into your day-to-day activities. Allah (swt) observes us. He knows our every movement. We should consider this observance and emphasise our awareness of Allah (swt). If we fear Allah (swt) and maintain our consciousness of Him (swt) we will be more responsible with our time and our use of it.
Be Responsible and Responsive
As women we have varying circumstances and situations within the folds of our lives and our responsibilities vary accordingly. First and foremost we are responsible to Allah (swt). All of our obligations in life are subjective to this. If we could only keep this is mind most things would fall into place and much wrong avoided.
But sometimes we overindulge ourselves in personal desires causing us to neglect areas of responsibility to the point that we step over the bounds of right into wrong. The fabric of our lives is as different and varying as fingerprints. Some of us are married though others are not. We may live all alone or within an extended family home. You may have a child or two, others have a houseful, while even others have none.
Therein each of us will find a different balance of responsibilities and a varying amount of free time. If you were to list all of the responsibilities that you have as a woman you might feel a bit exasperated. However, the key is not in making a “To Do” list but more a reminder to be responsive to those things around you that need you.
For example, a baby has a right to the breast milk that Allah (swt) has created for its nourishment. A mother has an obligation to offer it. But the responsive part of this relationship is recognising that the child needs not just the milk but the loving, caring warmth, the emotional cradling, the comforting nipple of his mother's breast. A relationship of physical contact and emotion is created and needed, one for which a bottle is a poor replacement. A baby is not aware of the nutritional difference that mother's milk provides over other milks. But she is aware of the difference in comfort, closeness, and affinity that she feels when she nurses from her mother's own milk.
By looking beyond the “right” and “obligation” aspects of our lives and turning our minds to the benefit, reward, and fulfilment that can be gained by living out our responsibilities we can find pleasure and satisfaction in things that are otherwise done without attention or enjoyment.
In the patchwork of our lives we will find that there is blessing in whatever Allah (swt) has given us if we only look for it, nurture it, and give it its due. The more responsive we are to our individual blessings, the more benefit we will gain.
Be responsive to the daily situations that Allah (swt) places you in. Act and react with full awareness of your duties to all aspects of your life and the people and things within it. Stop and ask yourself if you are truly fulfilling the rights of Allah (swt), the rights of others, and the rights of yourself.
Keep Good Company
Most of us have a “best friend”. She (or even he) is the one whom we call and discuss our innermost feelings and concerns with, the one with whom we share our day-to-day happenings and thoughts, the one whom we turn to for advice. No wonder the Prophet (saw) said, “A person follows the faith of his friend. Therefore, consider with whom you make friends.” [Abu Dawoud & Tirmidhi]
A good companion is one who will listen, yet stop you if you gossip. She will encourage you toward good when you incline toward evil. She will tell you that you are wrong when you need to hear it. She will remind you of Allah (swt) and remind you to remember Him.
She will prohibit you from disobedience to Him. And perhaps most importantly, she will do this without fear of losing you as a friend just as you, if you are worthy of such a companion, will accept it with a good heart and thank Allah (swt) for the blessing of such a good friend.
Identify Your Weaknesses and Desires
All of us have them. Some of us control them. Many of us indulge in them. It could be talking on the phone, e-mailing friends, going shopping, social engagements, an outside job, even going out for Dawah or education. Any one of these activities has the potential to turn into a platform for misuse of time and neglect of responsibility.
As part of a balanced life there is no harm in participating in any or all of these things as long as they involve nothing forbidden. But if they overshadow or negatively affect the other areas of your life, particularly those things that are obligations, you could be setting yourself up for some major questioning on the Day of Judgment.
Sit with yourself and examine where and how you spend your time. Often we may find that we give an abundance of our time to things that are beneficial but not really necessary while other areas of our lives are not being cared for properly. Single out those things that seem to dominate your life.
Examine them for their value. Are you sacrificing time from other obligations in your life to make room for them? Does it affect your relationships with the people in your life? We don't have to give up the things we enjoy. We just need to maintain the equilibrium that is necessary to balance the many balls that we choose to juggle.
Free time is a luxury that most of us enjoy and would appreciate more of. But in doing so we must keep in mind that every second that ticks by comes to an end and does not return until we are called to account for it. Spend your time well as it is stated so superbly by the Lord of the Worlds:
By al-'Asr (Time), Verily mankind is in loss, except those who believe, and do good righteous deeds, and those who enjoin one another to truth.
Everyone seems to wish they had more of it. Being a wife and the mother of seven children I have often thought to myself that if only I had some free time I would... What would I do? Here we come to a universal truth about free time. It is used in one of two ways. Either it is put to good use or it is wasted, sometimes in sinful use.
Of course, we will all agree that performing some sort of Ibadah would be the ideal use of free time. However, we often forget that the performance of Ibadah is the very reason for our life on earth. Allah (swt) says: “I have not created jinn and humans except so that they may worship Me.” [51:56]
Allah did not create humans without reason. Nor did He create them for the sake of spending their time in pointless activity. He created them for Ibadah in the complete meaning of Ibadah - worship of Him as the one Almighty Lord of the Worlds.
Ibadah refers not just to ritual, physical, and mental acts of Ibadah such as Salah, Saum, Zakah, and Hajj. These are the Arkan of Ibadah. The true and complete meaning of the word Ibadah includes much more. As Ibn Taymiyyah puts it, Ibadah is “a comprehensive word that refers to all that Allah (swt) loves and all that pleases Him.”
So how does all this tie in with a woman and free time? If we examine the question and take a deeper look at exactly how Ibadah is performed in a woman's life, the desire for “free time” takes on a new meaning.
Adh-Dhahabee related in Sayr A'laam An-Nubalaa from Asma bint Yazeed Ibn As-Sakan that she went to the Prophet (saw) and said, “O Messenger of Allah, may my father and mother be sacrificed for you. I have come to you on behalf of the women. Verily Allah has sent you to men and women. We have believed in you. We do not go out and we remain in your homes. We are your source of physical pleasure. We carry your children. A man goes out to pray Jum’ah and Jamah, and follows the Janazah. And if you go out for Hajj, or Umrah, or Jihad, we look after your wealth. We wash your clothing. We raise your children. Shall we not share in the reward?”
The Prophet (saw) turned to his Companions and said, “Have you ever heard anything a woman has said better than what she has said?” Then he said to her, “Understand O woman, and inform the other women. Indeed a woman's perfection of her relationship with her husband, her seeking his pleasure, and doing that which he approves of is equivalent to all of that.” Asma left exclaiming “Laa ilaaha illallaah.”
Here, the Prophet (saw) explains an important aspect of Ibadah which applies uniquely to women. He informs us of the way to her success and how she has been granted this distinguished form of worship, one that many of us complain about. It is equivalent to Jihad, praying Jum’ah and Jamah. It is commensurate to participating in the Janazah, performance of Hajj and Umrah.
This Ibadah is the perfection of her relationship with her husband, her seeking his pleasure, obeying him, and doing that which he approves of. It is the caring for her children and her home and remaining within her home. Allah (swt) in His incomparable mercy has provided her with other deeds which replace those deeds that men usually perform, so that she may achieve equal reward.
One might argue that most of the women participate in these actions on a daily basis, even the disbelieving women. However, the concerns of a Muslim woman are nobler. She sets her sights high in her actions. She is aware that her every act, when performed islamically, is an expression of her worship of Allah (swt).
What is it that makes a woman wish for free time? Usually it is a need for a more personal time period wherein she may direct her energies into something that she would individually benefit from and enjoy. There is nothing wrong with this and indeed, when done with the correct intention, this too falls into Ibadah.
However, the waste of free time is an evil that many of us succumb to. The world is filled with opportunities for us to waste our time. Shaytan whispers here and there and before you know it we've intended well but failed to follow through. All of us are prone to wasting our time or failing to take opportunities to use our time well.
This is how it happens:
Tasweef
Putting things off until “later”. It is very easy to fall into a rut of aspiring to do good while not putting forth a sincere effort. Success in doing good things with our time is much like repentance. Is repentance sincere if you just think about it, express your desire to repent, and then say, “Oh, maybe I'll repent next month?”
Similarly, if you wish to memorise Qur’an, or further your knowledge, but continually put your efforts on a back burner, you've fallen into Tasweef. In order to succeed at something we must first rectify our intention, then make sure that the thing we are aspiring to is in accordance with the Qur’an and Sunnah, and finally we must step forward with a firm foot. We must be serious in our commitment.
Going Out
Affairs outside our home can be harmful as well as Haram. Would you even think that going shopping could fall into this? Don't be surprised. Islam directs that a woman is primarily meant to remain in her home. She may come out for her needs. If she goes out, according to the conditions of the Shariah, for a need which her husband cannot fulfil for her, then there is nothing against that. But, sometimes we fall into a western mentality of role sharing. Now there is nothing wrong with a husband helping his wife out and vice-versa.
However, a woman taking over responsibilities of the husband with the intention of “making things easier on him” is skirting on the questionable. This is particularly so when we talk of shopping and other such needed but not always necessary tasks. A better way would be to organise herself and her household affairs and that of her children by simplifying her lifestyle and cutting back on the unnecessary.
A Muslim woman's constant going to the markets to make the household purchases and her desire to do so is wrong. Some women have no intention to purchase anything. They just want to walk around the market and see what's new. Maybe there's a new style, new material, something nice. So she has no true need to go out. And we know the Hadith of the Prophet (saw) who said, “If a woman goes out of her home Shaytan will attract attention to her presence.” [At-Tirmidhi]
Meaning he will draw attention to her presence and make use of the opportunity either in tempting her or tempting others through her. If a woman remains in her home then Shaytan cannot do this. The Prophet (saw) also said that if a woman goes out of her home she “appears in the form of a Shaytan and she leaves in the form of Shaytan.” [Muslim]
How? The scholars have said that Shaytan comes to those who are before her and make her coming out appear attractive to those who are looking. And when she leaves he makes her appear attractive to those who are present and see her leaving.
So she causes people to look at her and she causes their temptation. Allah (swt) and His Messenger (saw) have ordered us to remain in our homes and to come out only for true need to do so.
“And remain in your homes” are the words of Allah (swt) addressed to the believing women and the wives of the Prophet (saw). The word in the Ayah, “qarna” means to remain and adhere. Allah has ordered the woman to adhere, to stay, and not merely to it, in her home. She should accustom herself to staying home and not going out. And if she does go out she should feel uncomfortable in doing so.
A sign of Iman of a true believing woman is her feeling that her home is where she belongs. And a sign of a diseased heart is that of a woman who feels uncomfortable staying at home. Examine your heart for the stirrings of disease. Treat yourself by applying Allah's command. By rectifying our hearts contentment can be bred and truly appreciated.
The Telephone
Ah, the telephone. A wonderful invention it was, without doubt. It did away with a lot of travel, sending messages by hand, and unexpected visitors. But it also brought us the opportunity for wasting large blocks of our time and, sometimes, committing serious sin such as talking about things that are none of our business. A telephone does indeed fulfil a need for us as women.
It provides us with an opportunity to “visit” with our friends and family without leaving our homes. We can share a cup of tea with a friend as a relaxation from the occupation of daily chores. But, it can also steal valuable time that can be put to more beneficial use. Use it with attention and care or you will find that it will use you.
Music and Singing
Allah (swt) says: “And befool them gradually those whom you can among them with your voice, (i.e. songs, music, and any other call for Allah’s disobedience) make assaults on them with your cavalry and your infantry.” [17:64]
“And of mankind is he who purchases idle talk (music, singing, etc.)” [31:6]
In explaining this Ayah Ibn Masood said: “Wallaahi Laa ilaaha illaa huwa this refers to music and singing.” The Prophet (saw) said, “There will come among my nation a group of people making permissible the wearing of silk (for men) the drinking of wine, and the usage of musical instruments.” [Al-Bukhari]
This was pointing to the fact that such deeds were originally forbidden but would be made permissible in later times by those who stray from the correct path. I'm sure we can all agree that Allah (swt) has not forbidden a thing except for the corruption or harm that it contains.
Now, there may be Muslims that listen to music for pleasure. If you are one of them, I advise you to research the subject to learn of its impermissibility and work on your Iman. A Mumin would turn to Qur’an for such pleasure.
I like to believe that most Muslims do not listen to music but rather find it an unintentional part of their lives - on the radio, while listening to the news, computer software, and the like.
If you are truly benefiting from such things, don't fall into the neglectful habit of not turning the sound down whenever music comes on. It's so easy to do - to just sit there and think that it will stop in a minute. This occurs a lot with children, especially with computer software and video games.
If they can't use them without the sound and the sound is full of music then maybe the actual benefit should be reconsidered. Sooner or later we will tire of turning it down or having to constantly say, “Turn down the music!” And, sooner or later, we will find music a constant element of our lives. Sooner or later.
Gossip and Backbiting
Most of us have, at one time or another chewed the flesh of someone. It may have been an enemy or a friend, an acquaintance, a supervisor, or an employee, or even our own spouse or child. Gossip and backbiting are nasty deeds and they can become habitual. Though not restricted to females, it is notoriously recurrent in us. We have a reputation for it. We fall into it easily. And again, it is usually idle time, time not well spent, that is the trap laid into which we place our wagging tongues.
When we call a sister just to talk, how many times do our conversations turn to the affairs of others? When this happens do we forbid what is wrong and command what is right? Do we discuss shared secrets under the pretence of seeking advice. When we call or go to visit, do we start with good intent but fall into talk that rings with “Did you hear?” “Can you believe that she?” and “So-and-so said this and that.”
Often talk enters into the perimeters of the Haram, causing us to use our free time in an extremely detrimental way. Even our silence to its occurrence is an abuse of time for which we are accountable.
Films and Television
This is a particularly dangerous tool of learning and change. Audio/video anything has the incredible ability of making lasting impressions in the mind and upon the soul. Mannerisms, morals, and beliefs can be culled from them. If exposure is continuous the influence can begin to be seen within a very short period of time, in changes of belief as well as in the amount of time spent viewing.
Don't fool yourself into thinking that children are the only ones who are impressionable and susceptible. Adults can be just as easily influenced and addicted. Now, consider this view of films and television shows, given by the lecturer Saeed bin Misfir Al-Qahtaanee.
“A film or a show is basically a story. A liar called a writer or producer writes it. After he writes it he approaches a group of other liars and actors with the intent to perform and bring the story to life. You play this role and you perform this part. You're the mother, you play the father, you the son, and so on, and they sit together for two, three, or four months to produce the story and present it to the people. And then people spend long stretches of time sitting together following the story as if it were true while in reality it is a lie. Actually a person shouldn't even be looking at it. . . They even have a way of capturing the viewer’s attention by leaving them in suspense at the end of the show so that they will make it a point to watch the next show.”
Granted, there are possibilities for useful and permissible use of television and video. But the concern is in that which is, without question, forbidden. Ask yourself, “Am I watching or listening to things that I really, islamically, should not?” Am I using my time well in doing so?
We are left with the subject of how to use our free time beneficially. The world is filled with activities. How do we choose who, what, when, and where and at the same time reassure ourselves of why? Here are a few principles that can put some perspective and equilibrium into our lives.
Fear Allah
Place this feeling into everything that you approach in your life. Keep in mind the pillars of our Deen - not just that of Iman and Islam but particularly of Ihsan – “to worship Allah as if you see Him and, though you cannot see Him, know that He sees you.” [Mutafaqun 'alaih]
What a powerful statement! Make it words to live by. Also remember that our entire lives and the world around us is a test. Know that you will be asked how you spent your time, your money, your health, and your wealth. Allah (swt) tells us in Surah Al-Kahf: “Indeed We have made that which is on earth as an adornment for it, in order that We may test them (mankind) as to which of them are best in deeds.” [18:7]
Pay attention to your life and the outlook you put into your day-to-day activities. Allah (swt) observes us. He knows our every movement. We should consider this observance and emphasise our awareness of Allah (swt). If we fear Allah (swt) and maintain our consciousness of Him (swt) we will be more responsible with our time and our use of it.
Be Responsible and Responsive
As women we have varying circumstances and situations within the folds of our lives and our responsibilities vary accordingly. First and foremost we are responsible to Allah (swt). All of our obligations in life are subjective to this. If we could only keep this is mind most things would fall into place and much wrong avoided.
But sometimes we overindulge ourselves in personal desires causing us to neglect areas of responsibility to the point that we step over the bounds of right into wrong. The fabric of our lives is as different and varying as fingerprints. Some of us are married though others are not. We may live all alone or within an extended family home. You may have a child or two, others have a houseful, while even others have none.
Therein each of us will find a different balance of responsibilities and a varying amount of free time. If you were to list all of the responsibilities that you have as a woman you might feel a bit exasperated. However, the key is not in making a “To Do” list but more a reminder to be responsive to those things around you that need you.
For example, a baby has a right to the breast milk that Allah (swt) has created for its nourishment. A mother has an obligation to offer it. But the responsive part of this relationship is recognising that the child needs not just the milk but the loving, caring warmth, the emotional cradling, the comforting nipple of his mother's breast. A relationship of physical contact and emotion is created and needed, one for which a bottle is a poor replacement. A baby is not aware of the nutritional difference that mother's milk provides over other milks. But she is aware of the difference in comfort, closeness, and affinity that she feels when she nurses from her mother's own milk.
By looking beyond the “right” and “obligation” aspects of our lives and turning our minds to the benefit, reward, and fulfilment that can be gained by living out our responsibilities we can find pleasure and satisfaction in things that are otherwise done without attention or enjoyment.
In the patchwork of our lives we will find that there is blessing in whatever Allah (swt) has given us if we only look for it, nurture it, and give it its due. The more responsive we are to our individual blessings, the more benefit we will gain.
Be responsive to the daily situations that Allah (swt) places you in. Act and react with full awareness of your duties to all aspects of your life and the people and things within it. Stop and ask yourself if you are truly fulfilling the rights of Allah (swt), the rights of others, and the rights of yourself.
Keep Good Company
Most of us have a “best friend”. She (or even he) is the one whom we call and discuss our innermost feelings and concerns with, the one with whom we share our day-to-day happenings and thoughts, the one whom we turn to for advice. No wonder the Prophet (saw) said, “A person follows the faith of his friend. Therefore, consider with whom you make friends.” [Abu Dawoud & Tirmidhi]
A good companion is one who will listen, yet stop you if you gossip. She will encourage you toward good when you incline toward evil. She will tell you that you are wrong when you need to hear it. She will remind you of Allah (swt) and remind you to remember Him.
She will prohibit you from disobedience to Him. And perhaps most importantly, she will do this without fear of losing you as a friend just as you, if you are worthy of such a companion, will accept it with a good heart and thank Allah (swt) for the blessing of such a good friend.
Identify Your Weaknesses and Desires
All of us have them. Some of us control them. Many of us indulge in them. It could be talking on the phone, e-mailing friends, going shopping, social engagements, an outside job, even going out for Dawah or education. Any one of these activities has the potential to turn into a platform for misuse of time and neglect of responsibility.
As part of a balanced life there is no harm in participating in any or all of these things as long as they involve nothing forbidden. But if they overshadow or negatively affect the other areas of your life, particularly those things that are obligations, you could be setting yourself up for some major questioning on the Day of Judgment.
Sit with yourself and examine where and how you spend your time. Often we may find that we give an abundance of our time to things that are beneficial but not really necessary while other areas of our lives are not being cared for properly. Single out those things that seem to dominate your life.
Examine them for their value. Are you sacrificing time from other obligations in your life to make room for them? Does it affect your relationships with the people in your life? We don't have to give up the things we enjoy. We just need to maintain the equilibrium that is necessary to balance the many balls that we choose to juggle.
Free time is a luxury that most of us enjoy and would appreciate more of. But in doing so we must keep in mind that every second that ticks by comes to an end and does not return until we are called to account for it. Spend your time well as it is stated so superbly by the Lord of the Worlds:
By al-'Asr (Time), Verily mankind is in loss, except those who believe, and do good righteous deeds, and those who enjoin one another to truth.
The Feminist Movement and The Muslim Woman
by Maryam Jameelah
The most radical movement in recent times which is revolutionizing thc whole social structure and changing the entire basis of human relationships is the Feminist movement, popularly known as the drive for Women’s Liberation.
The Feminist movement is not a unique product of the modern age. Its historical precedents reach back into antiquity. In his Republic, Plato advocated the abolition of the family and social roles determined by sex; in literature, the ancient Greek classical comedy, Lypsistrata and much marc recently, Henrick Ibsen’s (1828-1906) drama, A Doll’s House preached feminist ideals. The Victorian economist and philosopher, John Stuart Mill and the German socialist, Friedrich Engels in his essay, The Subjection of Women, which he wrote in 1869, laid the core foundations of Feminism. In 1884 Angels publicly proclaimed marriage as a “dreary mutation of slavery,” urged its abolition and suggested public responsibility for the rearing of children.
In America, Feminism was the outgrowth of the movement for the abolition of slavery and the Temperance movement for the legal banning of liquor. Women who joined these organizations soon discovered that to make their cause effective, they required political power. The historical milestone of the Feminist movement was the Seneca Falls Convention in 1948 which in its manifesto, demanded women’s rights to her complete control over her property and the he right to divorce her husband, guardianship of the children and an end to sexual discrimination in employment along with the right to receive equal pay with men for the same work, and most important, female franchise. As the campaign for women’s suffrage grew, the more conservative Feminists limited their cause to the single issue of suffrage. In 1920 with the passage of the 19th amendment to the American constitution giving women the vote, the majority of women activists as ‘well, as the public assumed that with female franchise, women’s rights had been fully obtained. After this, the Feminist movement lay dormant for more then than forty years.
On December 14, 1961, President John F. Kennedy signed an Executive order establishing the President’s Commission on the status of women. Its mandate was “to examine and recommend remedies to combat the prejudices and obsolete customs and morals which act as obstacles to the complete realization of women’s rights.” The President’s Commission was the first official body ever to examine the status of in the United States.
Thus the “silent fifties” came to an abrupt end with the beginnings of Feminist confrontation politics in the early 1960’s – marches, pickets and sit-ins. College and university girls began to participate in these political activities.
In contrast to the women who assembled at the Seneca Falls Convention in 1848 and merely protested against the ill-treatment and abuse of women by drunken husbands and achievement of their legitimate rights in marriage, control of property and earnings and equal pay with men for the same work, the demands of the modern successors are far more radical. In the largest most enthusiastic Feminist demonstration ever held, on August 26, 1970, hundreds of women marched down Fifth Avenue, New York City carrying placards which read:
HOUSEWIVES ARE UNPAID SLAVES! STATE PAY FOR HOUSEWORK! OPPRESSED WOMEN! DON’T COOK DINNER! STARVE YOUR HUSBAND TONIGHT! END HUMAN SACRAFICE! DON’T GET MARRIED! WASHING DIAPERS IS NOT FULFILLING! LEGALISE ABORTION! DEPENDENCY IS NOT HEALTHY STATE OF BEING!
Today’s Feminists are implacably opposed to any social roles being determined by sex. Feminists assert the absolute and unqualified equality of men and women, not withstanding anatomical differences. They deny that there is any inherent biological distinction between men and women on the basis of sex which determines that the wife should be the housewife and mother and the husband the breadwinner and authoritarian head of the family. They believe that women should take just as active role in sexual intercourse as men and not be passive. They demand the abolition of institutional marriage, home and family, asset complete female sexual freedom and that the upbringing should be a public responsibility. They insist that all women should be given the right to complete control over their reproductive lives. They are demanding that all restrictions must be lifted from laws governing contraception so that devices can be publicly advertised and available over the druggist counter to any women regardless of her age and marital status and purchasable without a doctor’s prescription. All laws restricting abortion should be removed and that women have a legal right to abortion at any stage of pregnancy. Abortions should not only be available at demand but should be supplied free by the state to any women who wants one so that the poor can take full advantage of facility.
In schools all course must be equally co-educational – home economics must no be exclusively female and shop mechanics for boys. Segregation must be broken down in gymnasiums and physical education. Girls should be allowed to compete in all sports and physical exercises with boys at all ages. All mass-media must be radically changed to eliminate sex-stereotyping roles and portray women as equal to men in all fields of work and production. Children’s books are criticized by feminists because they do not show in their stories more single-parent families, unmarried mothers and divorces women as models for the children. Girls should be given mechanical toys to play with and boys should be given dolls. Instead of traditional institutions of marriage, home and family, radical Feminists propose men and women living in large communes where the welfare and rearing of the children would be public responsibility. They are demanding that child-care centers are made available to parents on a 24-hour basis provided to the public as free on demand just as parks, libraries and recreational facilities are taken for granted in most American communities. Women must be financially independent and no profession or occupation should be banned to her on account of her sex.
A lot of women who may say that they just want to play the traditional roles are simply fearful - or unable to imagine other ways of being. Old roles can seem to offer a certain security. Freedom can seem frightening especially if one has learned how to achieve a certain degree of power inside prison. Perhaps they are just afraid of choices. We don’t seek to impose anything on women but merely to open up all possible alternatives. We do seek choice as one of the functions, which makes people human beings. We want to be full people, crippled neither by law or custom or our own-chained minds. If there us no room in that in nature, then nature must be changed!1
One of the “alternative choices” for women the Feminists seek to make socially acceptable is Lesbianism (female homosexuality). One of the branches of feminism is the homophile organization known as The Daughters of Bilitis the aim of which is to promote Lesbianism.
The women’s liberation movement has members who were lesbians before its existence and those who have become lesbians since their involvement with the movement. For some of the latter, Lesbianism is a form of political protest. Say the radical feminists. “Lesbianism is one road to freedom - freedom from oppression by men.”2
The Lesbian minority in America, which may run as high at ten million women, is a woman, who is drawn erotically to women rather than to men. Perhaps the most logical and least hysterical of all statements about homosexuality is the following by Dr. Joel Fort psychiatrist and public health specialist and Dr. Joe K. Adams, psychologist and former mental health officer. The statement made in August 1966 is as follows: “Homosexuals like heterosexuals should be treated as individual human beings and not as a special group either by law or social agencies or employers. Laws governing sexual behavior should be reformed to deal only with clearly anti-social behavior involving violence or youth. The sexual behavior of individual adults by mutual Consent in private should not be a matter of public concern.3
What is the end-result of the radical feminist movement? What kind of society does Women’s Liberation seek to attain?
Thus women for men are alternatively angels and slaves to be worshipped one minute and spurned and exploited the next but seldom treated as equals. Concerning sex, our society has taught total abstinence for the first decade of sexual maturity (even masturbation is considered at best an unavoidable evil,) then life-long fidelity to one partner. All the while society does its best both to keep us ignorant and confused about what a well developed sex-life can be and to convince us that the forbidden fruits of promiscuity surpass anything the “moral’ person can ever taste. What a bundle of paradoxes! If instead we could face without flinching our homosexual impulses and curiosity about how this or that act with such a person might feel, then we might be able to distinguish between an impulse which is immoral and involuntary and action which of course must be taken deliberately in accordance with its likely consequences and our overall values and goals. What would happen if men rejected the male stereotype and acknowledged the values of oneness, humility, discussion, consideration, cooperation and compromise along with humility, respectful disagreement and conflict. We would not deny the richness of our sexual imagination nor the natural sexual element in all relationships. Just how it occurs-talking, touching, dancing or making love should be our guilt-free choice based on our own honest needs rather than a “moral” “masculine” stereotype.
What about the question of “fidelity” to one partner versus a diverse sex-life? Most adults seem to need to have a primary relationship, which comes before all others. If a problem in the primary relationship, which is the most demanding but also the most potentially rewarding kind, makes us try to escape through an outside flirtation or “affair,” this is bad not because of the sexual acts committed but because it is an escape. The problem remains unsolved.
All our relationships tend to be over-reserved. We need to loosen up and learn to express affection-openly and physically. Would men’s and women’s liberation of the sort I have just described destroy the traditional American family? I think so. It is an institution with many drawbacks. Considerations of efficiency and economy and exposure to the difficulties and opportunities inherent in larger groups living and working together make it a good idea to experiment with some “communal” kinds of arrangement.4
In Muslim countries, fortunately, the Feminist movement has not yet touched such extremes as this but as a result of westernization, Purdah is rapidly disappearing and women, revolting against their traditional roles, are patterning their lives more and more am the models of their Western sisters.
In the more fashionable and well-to-do urban classes, particularly in Tehran, the women spend less time in household work and more in social, professional, recreational and philanthropic activities. To go to the dress-maker or the hair-dresser, to have morning coffee or lunch with friends, to shop and attend parties, these constitute the daily routine for such women. They also enjoy taking meals in fine restaurants, going on holidays and engaging in sports. An increasing number of women of this class take an interest in cultural and charitable work. (p. 77)
In the cities of Lebanon, women are increasingly seen outside the home. On Sundays there are as many women as men on the crowded beaches of Beirut - the younger generation, of course. Beach behavior undoubtedly is a symbol of the loosening of bonds. In Lebanon the acceptance of Western dress styles has reached a stage where among the westernized middle and upper classes, there is little restraint even on those girls who wish to dress provocatively. In all social groups girls display a tremendous preoccupation with clothes and they are not usually casual clothes except for beach wear or picnics. In the winter suits are worn but in summer the standard garb for the university girl is a tight silk dress or skirt and a more or less transparent blouse. High heels and nylon stockings are standard and make-up is elaborate. Some Muslim girls (not university students) wear a completely transparent symbolic veil over their faces. A few years ago, girls were shy about being seen on the beaches with bathing suits, especially in a bikini. Now they take it in their stride and many wear scanty two-piece bathing suits. (pp. 122-123)5
Feminism is an unnatural, artificial and abnormal product of contemporary social disintegration, which in turn is the inevitable result of the rejection of all transcendental, absolute moral and spiritual values. The student of anthropology and history can be certain of the abnormality of the Feminist movement because all human cultures that we know of throughout prehistorically and historic times make a definite clear-cut distinction between “masculinity” and “femininity” and pattern the social roles of men and women accordingly. The disintegration of the home and family, the loss of the authoritarian role of the father and sexual promiscuity have been directly responsible for the decline and fall of every nation which these evils become prevalent.
Some may argue that if this is so, why is Western civilization so extraordinarily vigorous and dynamic and despite its decadence and moral corruption, still unchallenged in its world-domination?
When moral depravity, self-worship and sensual indulgence have touched extremes; when men and women, young and old have become lost in sexual craze; when men have been completely perverted by sexual excitements, the natural consequences leading a nation to total collapse will inevitably follow. People who witness the progress and prosperity of such declining nations, which indeed stand on the very brink of an abyss of fire, are led to conclude that their self-indulgence is not impeding their progress but accelerating it. They think that a nation is at the peak of its prosperity when its people are highly self-indulgent. But this is a sad conclusion. When the constructive and destructive forces are both working side by side and the constructive aspect on the whole seems to have an edge over the destructive aspect, it is wrong to count the latter among the factors leading to the former.
Take, for instance, the case of a clever merchant who is earning high profits by dint of his intelligence, hard-work and experience. But at the same time, if he is given to drink, gambling and leads a care-free life, will it not be misleading to regard that side of his life as contributing to his well-being and prosperity? As a matter of fact, the first set of qualities is helping him to prosper whereas the second set is pulling him down. If on account of the positive qualities, he is flourishing, it does not mean that the negative forces are ineffective. It may be that the devil of gambling brings his whole fortune to naught in a moment and it may be that the devil of drinking leads him to commit a fatal mistake rendering him bankrupt and it may be that the devil of sexual indulgence leads him to commit murder, suicide or some other calamity. One cannot imagine how prosperous and triumphant he would have been had he not fallen a prey to these evils.
Similarly is the case with a nation. In the beginning it receives an impetus from constructive forces but then, due to lack of proper guidance, it begins to gather round it the means of its own destruction. For a while the constructive forces drag it along under the momentum already gained. But the destructive forces that are working simultaneously weaken it so much that one stray shock can send it sprawling to its doom.6
Where can salvation for humanity be found?
From the point of view of social structure, the teachings of the Shariah emphasize the role of the family as the unit of society - the family in the extended sense and not in its atomized, nuclear modem form. The greatest social achievement of the Prophet in Medina was precisely in breaking the existing tribal bonds and substituting religious ones which were connected on the one hand with the totality of the Muslim community and on the other hand with the family. The Muslim family is the miniature of the whole of Muslim society and its firm basis. In it, the man or father functions as the Imam in accordance with the patriarchal nature of Islam. The religious responsibility of the family rests upon his shoulders. In the family, the father upholds the tenets of the faith and his authority symbolizes that of God in the world. The man is in fact respected in the family precisely because of the sacerdotal function that he fulfils. The rebellion of Muslim women in certain quarters of Islamic society came when men themselves ceased to fulfil their religious function and lost their virile and patriarchal character. By becoming themselves effeminate, they caused the reaction of revolt among certain women who no longer felt the authority of religion upon themselves.
The traditional family is also the unit of stability of society and the four wives that a Muslim can marry, like the four-sided Ka’aba, symbolize this stability. Many have not understood why such a family structure is permitted in Islam and attack Islam for it as if polygamy belongs to Islam alone. Here and again Muslim modernism carries with it the prejudice of Christianity against polygamy to the extent that some have gone even so far as to call it immoral and prefer promiscuity to a social pattern which minimizes all illicit relations to the extent possible. The problem of the attitude of the Western observer is not as important as that segment of modernized Muslim society which itself cannot understand the teachings of the Shariah on this point simply because it uses as criteria categories borrowed from the modern West.
There is no doubt that in a small but significant segment of Muslim society today, there is a revolt of women against traditional Islamic society. In every civilisation a reaction always comes against an existing force or action. In Islam, the very patriarchal and masculine nature of the tradition makes the revolt of those women who have become aggressively modernised more violent and virulent than, let us say, in Hinduism, where the maternal element has always been strong. What many modernised Muslim women are doing in rebelling against the traditional Muslim family structure is to rebel against fourteen centuries of Islam itself although many may not be aware of the inner forces that drive them on. It is the patriarchal nature of Islam that makes the reaction of some modernised women today so vehement. Although very limited in number, they are, in fact, more than Muslim men, thirsting for all things Western. They seek to become modernised in their dress and habits with impetuosity, which would be difficult to understand unless one considers the deep psychological factors involved.
From the Islamic point of view, the question of the equality of men and women is meaningless. It is like discussing the equality of a rose and a jasmine. Each has its own perfume, colour, shape and beauty. Men and women are not the same. Each has particular features and characteristics. Women are not equal to men. But neither are men equal to women. Islam envisages their roles in society not as competing but as complimentary. Each has certain duties and functions in accordance with his or her nature and constitution.
Man possesses certain privileges such as social authority and mobility against which he has to perform many heavy duties. First of all, he bears all economic responsibility. It is his duty to support his family completely even if his wife is rich and despite the fact that she is economically independent. A woman in a traditional Islamic society does not have to worry about earning a living. There is always a family completely even if his wife is rich and despite die fact that she is economically independent. A woman in traditional Islamic society does not have to worry about earning a living. There is always the larger family structure in which she can find a place and take refuge from social and economic pressures even if she has no husband or father. In the extended family system, a man often supports not only his wife and children but also his mother, sister, aunts, in-laws and sometimes even cousins and more distant relatives. Therefore in city life, the necessity of having to find a job at all costs and having to bear the economic pressure of life is lifted from the shoulders of women. As for the countryside, the family is itself the economic unit and the work is achieved by the larger family or tribal unit together.
Secondly, a woman does not have to find a husband for herself. Site does not have to display her charms and make the thousand and one plans through which she hopes to attract a future mate. The terrible anxiety of having to find a husband and of missing the opportunity if one does not try hard enough at the right moment is spared the Muslim woman. Being able to remain true to her nature, she can afford to sit at home and wait for her parents or guardian to choose a suitable match. This usually leads to a marriage which, being based on the sense of religious duty and enduring family and social bonds between the two sides, is more lasting arid ends much more rarely in divorce than the marriages which are based on the sentiments of the moment that often do not develop into more permanent relationships.
Thirdly the Muslim woman is spared direct military and political responsibility although in rare cases there have been women warriors. This point may appear as a deprivation to some but in the light of the real needs of feminine nature, it is easy to see that for most women, such duties weigh heavily upon them. Even in modern societies, which through the equalitarian process have tried to equate men and women as if there were no difference in the two sexes, Women are usually spared the military draft except in extreme circumstances.
In return for these privileges which the woman receives, she has also certain responsibilities of which the most important is to provide a home for her family and to bring up her children properly. In the home the woman rules as queen and a Muslim man is in a sense the guest of his wife at home. The home and the larger family structure in which she lives are for the Muslim woman her world. To be cut off from it would be like being cut off from the world or like dying. She finds the meaning of her existence in this extended family structure which is constructed so as to give her the maximum possibility of realizing her basic needs and fulfilling herself.
The Shariah therefore envisages the role of men and women according to their nature, which is complimentary. It gives the man the privilege of social and political authority and movement for which he has to pay by bearing heavy responsibilities, by protecting his family from all the forces and pressures of society, economic and otherwise. Although a master in the world at large and the head of his own family, the man acts in his home as one who recognize the rule of his wife, in this domain and respects it. Through mutual understanding and the realization of the responsibilities that God has placed on each other’s shoulders, the Muslim man and woman are able to fulfil their personalities and create a firm family unit which is the basic structure of Muslim society.7
In the vehement rejection of the cultural, moral and spiritual values, indispensable for maintaining the institution of the family, those who support the Women’s Liberation Movement are revolting against the whole Christian heritage of their own civilization.
Despite the evils of its feudalistic society and the abuses of the authority of the priesthood, medieval Europe enjoyed a social integration, stability, peace and harmony which is unknown to modern Europe. Here is a vivid and moving description of Christian family values practically implemented in medieval Europe as taken from the family chronicles of the famous German artist, Albrecht Durer (1471-1528) who, although a devout Christian, presents a picture of his own home life as very close to Islamic ideals.
Albrecht Durer, my beloved father, came to Germany, and stayed for a long time in the low countries, working with the great masters and finally came here to Nuremberg in the year of Our Lord 1455 on St. Eligius’s day. And on this same day (June 25th) there was the wedding of Philip Pircheimer in the castle and a great reception under the big lime tree. Thenceforth, for a long time, my beloved father, Albrecht Durer served the old Hiercrnonymus Holper until the year of our Lord 1467. Then he gave him his daughter Barbara, a handsome, virtuous maid, fifteen years of age and they were married eight days before St. Vitus (June 8).
This good mother of mine bore and brought up eighteen children, often had the pestilence and many other severe illnesses, endured great poverty, ridicule, scorn, alarm, and misfortune, yet she never bore revenge. These brothers and sisters of mine, my beloved father’s children, are all dead, some died young, the rest when adult. Only we three brothers are still living, so long as it may please God; namely, I, Albrecht and my brother Andreas, likewise my brother Hans. the third of that name out of my father’s children.
This said Albrecht Durer, the eider, worked hard all his life and had nothing else to live on but what he earned for himself, his wife and his children with his own hands. He also had all manner of grief, temptation and adversity. And all who knew him praised him for he led an honourable Christian life, was a patient and gentle man, peaceable towards everyone and he was very thankful to God. He had little-use for society and worldly pleasures; he was also a man of few words and godfearing. My beloved father took great pains to teach his children to honour the Lord. For his greatest wish was to bring up his children well so that they would be pleasing in the sight of God and man. Therefore he continually told us to love God and behave honourably towards our fellow men.
And my father was especially fond of me for he saw that I was eager to learn. Therefore he sent me to school and when I had learnt to read and write, he cook me away from school and taught me the goldsmith’s craft. And when I had mastered this, I felt that [would rather be a painter than a goldsmith. When I told my father this, he was not pleased for he grieved at the loss of time I had spent as his apprentice. But in the end, he let me have my way and in the year of our Lord 1486, on St. Andrew’s day (30th November) my father hound me as apprentice to Michael Wolgemut to serve him for three years. In that time God gave me diligence and I learnt well but I also had to suffer much at the hands of his assistants.
And after I had come home, Hans Frey negotiated with my father and gave me his daughter, Agnes and with her gave me 200 forms and we were married on Monday, July 7th before St. Margaret’s day in the year 1494.
Later it happened that my father became ill with dysentery and no one could cure him. And when he saw death approaching, he submitted to it calmly and patiently and commended my mother to my care and bade us to follow in the way of the Lord. He received the last sacraments and died a Christian death, leaving my mother a sorrowing widow. He had always praised her to me exceedingly as a most godly woman. Therefore I resolved never to forsake her.
All my friends! I ask you in God’s name when you read of my pious father’s death to say a Paternoster and an Ave Maria for his soul and for the sake of your souls too, that we may, by serving God succeed in living a good life and dying a good death. For it is not possible that one who has led a good life should die an evil death for God is merciful.
Now you shall know that in the year 5513, on a Tuesday before Rogation, my poor mother -whom I had taken care of for nine years since she came to live with me two years after my father died when she was quite penniless - was taken so ill early in the morning that we had to break open her door - for she was too weak to let us in and that that was the only way we could get to her. We brought her downstairs and she received both sacraments for everyone knew she was about to die. She had never been well since my father died.
More than a year from the said day on which she fell ill, in the year of our Lord, May 17, 1514, two hours before dark, my pious mother, Barbara Durer departed from this life with all the sacraments, absolved from pain and sin by papal authority. Before she died, she gave me her blessing and wished me divine peace with much good advice to guard myself from Sm. And she was most afraid of death but she said she was not afraid to meet God. And my mother’s death grieved me more than I can say. May God have mercy on her soul ! It was always her greatest pleasure to speak of God and see that we honoured Him. And it was her custom. to go regularly to church and she always scolded me heavily when I did wrong. And she was always anxious lest I or my brothers should sin. And whenever I went out or came in, she would say, “God be with you !“ And she constantly gave us solemn warning and had continual concern for our souls. And I cannot say enough about her good works and the kindness she showed to everybody or of her good name.
And it was in her sixty-third year when she died. And I buried her fittingly in accordance with my means. May the Lord grant me that I too die a Christian death and that I may join Him and His Heavenly Host, my father, my mother and my friends and may Almighty God give us eternal life! Amen. And in death she looked far sweeter than when she was still alive.8
A uni-sexual society be proposed be the feminists - that is, a society which makes no cultural or social distinction between the sexes, a society without marriage, home and family, where modesty, chastity and motherhood are scorned, does not represent “progress” or “liberation” but degradation at its worst. The result is pure and unadulterated anarchy, confusion and chaos.
If so, why is Feminism so popular?
The social order founded on materialism is the oldest and most popular. No social order is more satisfying, none so easy to evolve and so readily acceptable to the majority of men in all climes and at all times. It has such a deep attraction for the masses that its roots need not go deep into the soil nor is it necessary to raise the level of human intelligence or make any sacrifice for its sake. One requires no altruism or endurance. One need only drift with the “times.” History bears witness to the fact that no social order has so persistently come to have its sway over humanity as it has done.9
Never has moral corruption and social decadence menaced mankind on such a universal scale as is the case now. The adoption of feminist ideals degrades humans lower than the animals. For animals live by their instincts and cannot do anything opposed to their nature. Among animals, homosexuality is unknown. The male is only attracted to the female of its own species. The male animal never goes with lust to another male or a female to another female. Among animals, the maternal relationship is completely severed as soon as the young are able to look after themselves. In most species, the father takes no interest in its offspring. There is no such thing as modesty, chastity, marriage or filial ties among. beasts. These concepts are unique with human beings. They are found in every culture at every stage of civilization and history. The feminists wish to abolish the very characteristics, which make man human and undermine the foundation of all his relationships and social ties. The result will be suicide, not only of a single nation as in the past, but of the entire human race.
FOOTNOTES:
1 The Rebirth of Feminism, Judith Hole and Ellen Levine, The New York Tomies, New York, 1971, pp. 228
2 Ibid, p.240.
3 The New Woman; A Motive Anthology on Women’s Liberation, edited by Joanne Cooke and Charlotte Bunch-Weeks, New York, 1970. pp. 79-81.
4 Ibid., p.122-125.
5 Women in the Modern World, edited by Raphael Palai. The Free Press, New York 1967.
6 Purdah and the Status of Woman in Islam, Sayyid Abul ‘Ala Maudooda, Islamic Publications, Lahore, 1972, pp. 52-53.
7 Ideals and Realities of Islam, Syed Hossein Nasr, George AIIen & Unwin, London, 1966, pp. 110-113.
8 The Durer House in Nuremberg: Extracts from Durer’s Family Chronicles and Reminiscences, English translation by John M. Woolman, Nuremberg. pp. 34-46.
9 Religion and Civilization, Abul Hasan All Nadawi, Academy of Islamic Research and 8 Publications, Lucknow, 1970, p. 45.
The most radical movement in recent times which is revolutionizing thc whole social structure and changing the entire basis of human relationships is the Feminist movement, popularly known as the drive for Women’s Liberation.
The Feminist movement is not a unique product of the modern age. Its historical precedents reach back into antiquity. In his Republic, Plato advocated the abolition of the family and social roles determined by sex; in literature, the ancient Greek classical comedy, Lypsistrata and much marc recently, Henrick Ibsen’s (1828-1906) drama, A Doll’s House preached feminist ideals. The Victorian economist and philosopher, John Stuart Mill and the German socialist, Friedrich Engels in his essay, The Subjection of Women, which he wrote in 1869, laid the core foundations of Feminism. In 1884 Angels publicly proclaimed marriage as a “dreary mutation of slavery,” urged its abolition and suggested public responsibility for the rearing of children.
In America, Feminism was the outgrowth of the movement for the abolition of slavery and the Temperance movement for the legal banning of liquor. Women who joined these organizations soon discovered that to make their cause effective, they required political power. The historical milestone of the Feminist movement was the Seneca Falls Convention in 1948 which in its manifesto, demanded women’s rights to her complete control over her property and the he right to divorce her husband, guardianship of the children and an end to sexual discrimination in employment along with the right to receive equal pay with men for the same work, and most important, female franchise. As the campaign for women’s suffrage grew, the more conservative Feminists limited their cause to the single issue of suffrage. In 1920 with the passage of the 19th amendment to the American constitution giving women the vote, the majority of women activists as ‘well, as the public assumed that with female franchise, women’s rights had been fully obtained. After this, the Feminist movement lay dormant for more then than forty years.
On December 14, 1961, President John F. Kennedy signed an Executive order establishing the President’s Commission on the status of women. Its mandate was “to examine and recommend remedies to combat the prejudices and obsolete customs and morals which act as obstacles to the complete realization of women’s rights.” The President’s Commission was the first official body ever to examine the status of in the United States.
Thus the “silent fifties” came to an abrupt end with the beginnings of Feminist confrontation politics in the early 1960’s – marches, pickets and sit-ins. College and university girls began to participate in these political activities.
In contrast to the women who assembled at the Seneca Falls Convention in 1848 and merely protested against the ill-treatment and abuse of women by drunken husbands and achievement of their legitimate rights in marriage, control of property and earnings and equal pay with men for the same work, the demands of the modern successors are far more radical. In the largest most enthusiastic Feminist demonstration ever held, on August 26, 1970, hundreds of women marched down Fifth Avenue, New York City carrying placards which read:
HOUSEWIVES ARE UNPAID SLAVES! STATE PAY FOR HOUSEWORK! OPPRESSED WOMEN! DON’T COOK DINNER! STARVE YOUR HUSBAND TONIGHT! END HUMAN SACRAFICE! DON’T GET MARRIED! WASHING DIAPERS IS NOT FULFILLING! LEGALISE ABORTION! DEPENDENCY IS NOT HEALTHY STATE OF BEING!
Today’s Feminists are implacably opposed to any social roles being determined by sex. Feminists assert the absolute and unqualified equality of men and women, not withstanding anatomical differences. They deny that there is any inherent biological distinction between men and women on the basis of sex which determines that the wife should be the housewife and mother and the husband the breadwinner and authoritarian head of the family. They believe that women should take just as active role in sexual intercourse as men and not be passive. They demand the abolition of institutional marriage, home and family, asset complete female sexual freedom and that the upbringing should be a public responsibility. They insist that all women should be given the right to complete control over their reproductive lives. They are demanding that all restrictions must be lifted from laws governing contraception so that devices can be publicly advertised and available over the druggist counter to any women regardless of her age and marital status and purchasable without a doctor’s prescription. All laws restricting abortion should be removed and that women have a legal right to abortion at any stage of pregnancy. Abortions should not only be available at demand but should be supplied free by the state to any women who wants one so that the poor can take full advantage of facility.
In schools all course must be equally co-educational – home economics must no be exclusively female and shop mechanics for boys. Segregation must be broken down in gymnasiums and physical education. Girls should be allowed to compete in all sports and physical exercises with boys at all ages. All mass-media must be radically changed to eliminate sex-stereotyping roles and portray women as equal to men in all fields of work and production. Children’s books are criticized by feminists because they do not show in their stories more single-parent families, unmarried mothers and divorces women as models for the children. Girls should be given mechanical toys to play with and boys should be given dolls. Instead of traditional institutions of marriage, home and family, radical Feminists propose men and women living in large communes where the welfare and rearing of the children would be public responsibility. They are demanding that child-care centers are made available to parents on a 24-hour basis provided to the public as free on demand just as parks, libraries and recreational facilities are taken for granted in most American communities. Women must be financially independent and no profession or occupation should be banned to her on account of her sex.
A lot of women who may say that they just want to play the traditional roles are simply fearful - or unable to imagine other ways of being. Old roles can seem to offer a certain security. Freedom can seem frightening especially if one has learned how to achieve a certain degree of power inside prison. Perhaps they are just afraid of choices. We don’t seek to impose anything on women but merely to open up all possible alternatives. We do seek choice as one of the functions, which makes people human beings. We want to be full people, crippled neither by law or custom or our own-chained minds. If there us no room in that in nature, then nature must be changed!1
One of the “alternative choices” for women the Feminists seek to make socially acceptable is Lesbianism (female homosexuality). One of the branches of feminism is the homophile organization known as The Daughters of Bilitis the aim of which is to promote Lesbianism.
The women’s liberation movement has members who were lesbians before its existence and those who have become lesbians since their involvement with the movement. For some of the latter, Lesbianism is a form of political protest. Say the radical feminists. “Lesbianism is one road to freedom - freedom from oppression by men.”2
The Lesbian minority in America, which may run as high at ten million women, is a woman, who is drawn erotically to women rather than to men. Perhaps the most logical and least hysterical of all statements about homosexuality is the following by Dr. Joel Fort psychiatrist and public health specialist and Dr. Joe K. Adams, psychologist and former mental health officer. The statement made in August 1966 is as follows: “Homosexuals like heterosexuals should be treated as individual human beings and not as a special group either by law or social agencies or employers. Laws governing sexual behavior should be reformed to deal only with clearly anti-social behavior involving violence or youth. The sexual behavior of individual adults by mutual Consent in private should not be a matter of public concern.3
What is the end-result of the radical feminist movement? What kind of society does Women’s Liberation seek to attain?
Thus women for men are alternatively angels and slaves to be worshipped one minute and spurned and exploited the next but seldom treated as equals. Concerning sex, our society has taught total abstinence for the first decade of sexual maturity (even masturbation is considered at best an unavoidable evil,) then life-long fidelity to one partner. All the while society does its best both to keep us ignorant and confused about what a well developed sex-life can be and to convince us that the forbidden fruits of promiscuity surpass anything the “moral’ person can ever taste. What a bundle of paradoxes! If instead we could face without flinching our homosexual impulses and curiosity about how this or that act with such a person might feel, then we might be able to distinguish between an impulse which is immoral and involuntary and action which of course must be taken deliberately in accordance with its likely consequences and our overall values and goals. What would happen if men rejected the male stereotype and acknowledged the values of oneness, humility, discussion, consideration, cooperation and compromise along with humility, respectful disagreement and conflict. We would not deny the richness of our sexual imagination nor the natural sexual element in all relationships. Just how it occurs-talking, touching, dancing or making love should be our guilt-free choice based on our own honest needs rather than a “moral” “masculine” stereotype.
What about the question of “fidelity” to one partner versus a diverse sex-life? Most adults seem to need to have a primary relationship, which comes before all others. If a problem in the primary relationship, which is the most demanding but also the most potentially rewarding kind, makes us try to escape through an outside flirtation or “affair,” this is bad not because of the sexual acts committed but because it is an escape. The problem remains unsolved.
All our relationships tend to be over-reserved. We need to loosen up and learn to express affection-openly and physically. Would men’s and women’s liberation of the sort I have just described destroy the traditional American family? I think so. It is an institution with many drawbacks. Considerations of efficiency and economy and exposure to the difficulties and opportunities inherent in larger groups living and working together make it a good idea to experiment with some “communal” kinds of arrangement.4
In Muslim countries, fortunately, the Feminist movement has not yet touched such extremes as this but as a result of westernization, Purdah is rapidly disappearing and women, revolting against their traditional roles, are patterning their lives more and more am the models of their Western sisters.
In the more fashionable and well-to-do urban classes, particularly in Tehran, the women spend less time in household work and more in social, professional, recreational and philanthropic activities. To go to the dress-maker or the hair-dresser, to have morning coffee or lunch with friends, to shop and attend parties, these constitute the daily routine for such women. They also enjoy taking meals in fine restaurants, going on holidays and engaging in sports. An increasing number of women of this class take an interest in cultural and charitable work. (p. 77)
In the cities of Lebanon, women are increasingly seen outside the home. On Sundays there are as many women as men on the crowded beaches of Beirut - the younger generation, of course. Beach behavior undoubtedly is a symbol of the loosening of bonds. In Lebanon the acceptance of Western dress styles has reached a stage where among the westernized middle and upper classes, there is little restraint even on those girls who wish to dress provocatively. In all social groups girls display a tremendous preoccupation with clothes and they are not usually casual clothes except for beach wear or picnics. In the winter suits are worn but in summer the standard garb for the university girl is a tight silk dress or skirt and a more or less transparent blouse. High heels and nylon stockings are standard and make-up is elaborate. Some Muslim girls (not university students) wear a completely transparent symbolic veil over their faces. A few years ago, girls were shy about being seen on the beaches with bathing suits, especially in a bikini. Now they take it in their stride and many wear scanty two-piece bathing suits. (pp. 122-123)5
Feminism is an unnatural, artificial and abnormal product of contemporary social disintegration, which in turn is the inevitable result of the rejection of all transcendental, absolute moral and spiritual values. The student of anthropology and history can be certain of the abnormality of the Feminist movement because all human cultures that we know of throughout prehistorically and historic times make a definite clear-cut distinction between “masculinity” and “femininity” and pattern the social roles of men and women accordingly. The disintegration of the home and family, the loss of the authoritarian role of the father and sexual promiscuity have been directly responsible for the decline and fall of every nation which these evils become prevalent.
Some may argue that if this is so, why is Western civilization so extraordinarily vigorous and dynamic and despite its decadence and moral corruption, still unchallenged in its world-domination?
When moral depravity, self-worship and sensual indulgence have touched extremes; when men and women, young and old have become lost in sexual craze; when men have been completely perverted by sexual excitements, the natural consequences leading a nation to total collapse will inevitably follow. People who witness the progress and prosperity of such declining nations, which indeed stand on the very brink of an abyss of fire, are led to conclude that their self-indulgence is not impeding their progress but accelerating it. They think that a nation is at the peak of its prosperity when its people are highly self-indulgent. But this is a sad conclusion. When the constructive and destructive forces are both working side by side and the constructive aspect on the whole seems to have an edge over the destructive aspect, it is wrong to count the latter among the factors leading to the former.
Take, for instance, the case of a clever merchant who is earning high profits by dint of his intelligence, hard-work and experience. But at the same time, if he is given to drink, gambling and leads a care-free life, will it not be misleading to regard that side of his life as contributing to his well-being and prosperity? As a matter of fact, the first set of qualities is helping him to prosper whereas the second set is pulling him down. If on account of the positive qualities, he is flourishing, it does not mean that the negative forces are ineffective. It may be that the devil of gambling brings his whole fortune to naught in a moment and it may be that the devil of drinking leads him to commit a fatal mistake rendering him bankrupt and it may be that the devil of sexual indulgence leads him to commit murder, suicide or some other calamity. One cannot imagine how prosperous and triumphant he would have been had he not fallen a prey to these evils.
Similarly is the case with a nation. In the beginning it receives an impetus from constructive forces but then, due to lack of proper guidance, it begins to gather round it the means of its own destruction. For a while the constructive forces drag it along under the momentum already gained. But the destructive forces that are working simultaneously weaken it so much that one stray shock can send it sprawling to its doom.6
Where can salvation for humanity be found?
From the point of view of social structure, the teachings of the Shariah emphasize the role of the family as the unit of society - the family in the extended sense and not in its atomized, nuclear modem form. The greatest social achievement of the Prophet in Medina was precisely in breaking the existing tribal bonds and substituting religious ones which were connected on the one hand with the totality of the Muslim community and on the other hand with the family. The Muslim family is the miniature of the whole of Muslim society and its firm basis. In it, the man or father functions as the Imam in accordance with the patriarchal nature of Islam. The religious responsibility of the family rests upon his shoulders. In the family, the father upholds the tenets of the faith and his authority symbolizes that of God in the world. The man is in fact respected in the family precisely because of the sacerdotal function that he fulfils. The rebellion of Muslim women in certain quarters of Islamic society came when men themselves ceased to fulfil their religious function and lost their virile and patriarchal character. By becoming themselves effeminate, they caused the reaction of revolt among certain women who no longer felt the authority of religion upon themselves.
The traditional family is also the unit of stability of society and the four wives that a Muslim can marry, like the four-sided Ka’aba, symbolize this stability. Many have not understood why such a family structure is permitted in Islam and attack Islam for it as if polygamy belongs to Islam alone. Here and again Muslim modernism carries with it the prejudice of Christianity against polygamy to the extent that some have gone even so far as to call it immoral and prefer promiscuity to a social pattern which minimizes all illicit relations to the extent possible. The problem of the attitude of the Western observer is not as important as that segment of modernized Muslim society which itself cannot understand the teachings of the Shariah on this point simply because it uses as criteria categories borrowed from the modern West.
There is no doubt that in a small but significant segment of Muslim society today, there is a revolt of women against traditional Islamic society. In every civilisation a reaction always comes against an existing force or action. In Islam, the very patriarchal and masculine nature of the tradition makes the revolt of those women who have become aggressively modernised more violent and virulent than, let us say, in Hinduism, where the maternal element has always been strong. What many modernised Muslim women are doing in rebelling against the traditional Muslim family structure is to rebel against fourteen centuries of Islam itself although many may not be aware of the inner forces that drive them on. It is the patriarchal nature of Islam that makes the reaction of some modernised women today so vehement. Although very limited in number, they are, in fact, more than Muslim men, thirsting for all things Western. They seek to become modernised in their dress and habits with impetuosity, which would be difficult to understand unless one considers the deep psychological factors involved.
From the Islamic point of view, the question of the equality of men and women is meaningless. It is like discussing the equality of a rose and a jasmine. Each has its own perfume, colour, shape and beauty. Men and women are not the same. Each has particular features and characteristics. Women are not equal to men. But neither are men equal to women. Islam envisages their roles in society not as competing but as complimentary. Each has certain duties and functions in accordance with his or her nature and constitution.
Man possesses certain privileges such as social authority and mobility against which he has to perform many heavy duties. First of all, he bears all economic responsibility. It is his duty to support his family completely even if his wife is rich and despite the fact that she is economically independent. A woman in a traditional Islamic society does not have to worry about earning a living. There is always a family completely even if his wife is rich and despite die fact that she is economically independent. A woman in traditional Islamic society does not have to worry about earning a living. There is always the larger family structure in which she can find a place and take refuge from social and economic pressures even if she has no husband or father. In the extended family system, a man often supports not only his wife and children but also his mother, sister, aunts, in-laws and sometimes even cousins and more distant relatives. Therefore in city life, the necessity of having to find a job at all costs and having to bear the economic pressure of life is lifted from the shoulders of women. As for the countryside, the family is itself the economic unit and the work is achieved by the larger family or tribal unit together.
Secondly, a woman does not have to find a husband for herself. Site does not have to display her charms and make the thousand and one plans through which she hopes to attract a future mate. The terrible anxiety of having to find a husband and of missing the opportunity if one does not try hard enough at the right moment is spared the Muslim woman. Being able to remain true to her nature, she can afford to sit at home and wait for her parents or guardian to choose a suitable match. This usually leads to a marriage which, being based on the sense of religious duty and enduring family and social bonds between the two sides, is more lasting arid ends much more rarely in divorce than the marriages which are based on the sentiments of the moment that often do not develop into more permanent relationships.
Thirdly the Muslim woman is spared direct military and political responsibility although in rare cases there have been women warriors. This point may appear as a deprivation to some but in the light of the real needs of feminine nature, it is easy to see that for most women, such duties weigh heavily upon them. Even in modern societies, which through the equalitarian process have tried to equate men and women as if there were no difference in the two sexes, Women are usually spared the military draft except in extreme circumstances.
In return for these privileges which the woman receives, she has also certain responsibilities of which the most important is to provide a home for her family and to bring up her children properly. In the home the woman rules as queen and a Muslim man is in a sense the guest of his wife at home. The home and the larger family structure in which she lives are for the Muslim woman her world. To be cut off from it would be like being cut off from the world or like dying. She finds the meaning of her existence in this extended family structure which is constructed so as to give her the maximum possibility of realizing her basic needs and fulfilling herself.
The Shariah therefore envisages the role of men and women according to their nature, which is complimentary. It gives the man the privilege of social and political authority and movement for which he has to pay by bearing heavy responsibilities, by protecting his family from all the forces and pressures of society, economic and otherwise. Although a master in the world at large and the head of his own family, the man acts in his home as one who recognize the rule of his wife, in this domain and respects it. Through mutual understanding and the realization of the responsibilities that God has placed on each other’s shoulders, the Muslim man and woman are able to fulfil their personalities and create a firm family unit which is the basic structure of Muslim society.7
In the vehement rejection of the cultural, moral and spiritual values, indispensable for maintaining the institution of the family, those who support the Women’s Liberation Movement are revolting against the whole Christian heritage of their own civilization.
Despite the evils of its feudalistic society and the abuses of the authority of the priesthood, medieval Europe enjoyed a social integration, stability, peace and harmony which is unknown to modern Europe. Here is a vivid and moving description of Christian family values practically implemented in medieval Europe as taken from the family chronicles of the famous German artist, Albrecht Durer (1471-1528) who, although a devout Christian, presents a picture of his own home life as very close to Islamic ideals.
Albrecht Durer, my beloved father, came to Germany, and stayed for a long time in the low countries, working with the great masters and finally came here to Nuremberg in the year of Our Lord 1455 on St. Eligius’s day. And on this same day (June 25th) there was the wedding of Philip Pircheimer in the castle and a great reception under the big lime tree. Thenceforth, for a long time, my beloved father, Albrecht Durer served the old Hiercrnonymus Holper until the year of our Lord 1467. Then he gave him his daughter Barbara, a handsome, virtuous maid, fifteen years of age and they were married eight days before St. Vitus (June 8).
This good mother of mine bore and brought up eighteen children, often had the pestilence and many other severe illnesses, endured great poverty, ridicule, scorn, alarm, and misfortune, yet she never bore revenge. These brothers and sisters of mine, my beloved father’s children, are all dead, some died young, the rest when adult. Only we three brothers are still living, so long as it may please God; namely, I, Albrecht and my brother Andreas, likewise my brother Hans. the third of that name out of my father’s children.
This said Albrecht Durer, the eider, worked hard all his life and had nothing else to live on but what he earned for himself, his wife and his children with his own hands. He also had all manner of grief, temptation and adversity. And all who knew him praised him for he led an honourable Christian life, was a patient and gentle man, peaceable towards everyone and he was very thankful to God. He had little-use for society and worldly pleasures; he was also a man of few words and godfearing. My beloved father took great pains to teach his children to honour the Lord. For his greatest wish was to bring up his children well so that they would be pleasing in the sight of God and man. Therefore he continually told us to love God and behave honourably towards our fellow men.
And my father was especially fond of me for he saw that I was eager to learn. Therefore he sent me to school and when I had learnt to read and write, he cook me away from school and taught me the goldsmith’s craft. And when I had mastered this, I felt that [would rather be a painter than a goldsmith. When I told my father this, he was not pleased for he grieved at the loss of time I had spent as his apprentice. But in the end, he let me have my way and in the year of our Lord 1486, on St. Andrew’s day (30th November) my father hound me as apprentice to Michael Wolgemut to serve him for three years. In that time God gave me diligence and I learnt well but I also had to suffer much at the hands of his assistants.
And after I had come home, Hans Frey negotiated with my father and gave me his daughter, Agnes and with her gave me 200 forms and we were married on Monday, July 7th before St. Margaret’s day in the year 1494.
Later it happened that my father became ill with dysentery and no one could cure him. And when he saw death approaching, he submitted to it calmly and patiently and commended my mother to my care and bade us to follow in the way of the Lord. He received the last sacraments and died a Christian death, leaving my mother a sorrowing widow. He had always praised her to me exceedingly as a most godly woman. Therefore I resolved never to forsake her.
All my friends! I ask you in God’s name when you read of my pious father’s death to say a Paternoster and an Ave Maria for his soul and for the sake of your souls too, that we may, by serving God succeed in living a good life and dying a good death. For it is not possible that one who has led a good life should die an evil death for God is merciful.
Now you shall know that in the year 5513, on a Tuesday before Rogation, my poor mother -whom I had taken care of for nine years since she came to live with me two years after my father died when she was quite penniless - was taken so ill early in the morning that we had to break open her door - for she was too weak to let us in and that that was the only way we could get to her. We brought her downstairs and she received both sacraments for everyone knew she was about to die. She had never been well since my father died.
More than a year from the said day on which she fell ill, in the year of our Lord, May 17, 1514, two hours before dark, my pious mother, Barbara Durer departed from this life with all the sacraments, absolved from pain and sin by papal authority. Before she died, she gave me her blessing and wished me divine peace with much good advice to guard myself from Sm. And she was most afraid of death but she said she was not afraid to meet God. And my mother’s death grieved me more than I can say. May God have mercy on her soul ! It was always her greatest pleasure to speak of God and see that we honoured Him. And it was her custom. to go regularly to church and she always scolded me heavily when I did wrong. And she was always anxious lest I or my brothers should sin. And whenever I went out or came in, she would say, “God be with you !“ And she constantly gave us solemn warning and had continual concern for our souls. And I cannot say enough about her good works and the kindness she showed to everybody or of her good name.
And it was in her sixty-third year when she died. And I buried her fittingly in accordance with my means. May the Lord grant me that I too die a Christian death and that I may join Him and His Heavenly Host, my father, my mother and my friends and may Almighty God give us eternal life! Amen. And in death she looked far sweeter than when she was still alive.8
A uni-sexual society be proposed be the feminists - that is, a society which makes no cultural or social distinction between the sexes, a society without marriage, home and family, where modesty, chastity and motherhood are scorned, does not represent “progress” or “liberation” but degradation at its worst. The result is pure and unadulterated anarchy, confusion and chaos.
If so, why is Feminism so popular?
The social order founded on materialism is the oldest and most popular. No social order is more satisfying, none so easy to evolve and so readily acceptable to the majority of men in all climes and at all times. It has such a deep attraction for the masses that its roots need not go deep into the soil nor is it necessary to raise the level of human intelligence or make any sacrifice for its sake. One requires no altruism or endurance. One need only drift with the “times.” History bears witness to the fact that no social order has so persistently come to have its sway over humanity as it has done.9
Never has moral corruption and social decadence menaced mankind on such a universal scale as is the case now. The adoption of feminist ideals degrades humans lower than the animals. For animals live by their instincts and cannot do anything opposed to their nature. Among animals, homosexuality is unknown. The male is only attracted to the female of its own species. The male animal never goes with lust to another male or a female to another female. Among animals, the maternal relationship is completely severed as soon as the young are able to look after themselves. In most species, the father takes no interest in its offspring. There is no such thing as modesty, chastity, marriage or filial ties among. beasts. These concepts are unique with human beings. They are found in every culture at every stage of civilization and history. The feminists wish to abolish the very characteristics, which make man human and undermine the foundation of all his relationships and social ties. The result will be suicide, not only of a single nation as in the past, but of the entire human race.
FOOTNOTES:
1 The Rebirth of Feminism, Judith Hole and Ellen Levine, The New York Tomies, New York, 1971, pp. 228
2 Ibid, p.240.
3 The New Woman; A Motive Anthology on Women’s Liberation, edited by Joanne Cooke and Charlotte Bunch-Weeks, New York, 1970. pp. 79-81.
4 Ibid., p.122-125.
5 Women in the Modern World, edited by Raphael Palai. The Free Press, New York 1967.
6 Purdah and the Status of Woman in Islam, Sayyid Abul ‘Ala Maudooda, Islamic Publications, Lahore, 1972, pp. 52-53.
7 Ideals and Realities of Islam, Syed Hossein Nasr, George AIIen & Unwin, London, 1966, pp. 110-113.
8 The Durer House in Nuremberg: Extracts from Durer’s Family Chronicles and Reminiscences, English translation by John M. Woolman, Nuremberg. pp. 34-46.
9 Religion and Civilization, Abul Hasan All Nadawi, Academy of Islamic Research and 8 Publications, Lucknow, 1970, p. 45.
Better than a Doctorate Degree from Harvard
If you see anyone drinking tea, and you ask him what he is drinking, he will tell you "tea." There is sugar in the tea, but he will not mention the sugar, no one ever says he is drinking tea-and-sugar. No doubt the sweetness of the sugar fills the tea, but the person drinks and says nothing about it.
The long standing tradition of Qur'anic memorization is analogous to the sugar, doing its work in secret. In a child who embarks on the journey of memorizing Qur'an we see that the hands, nose, ears, eyes, and tongue are dynamic, but no one can see what the soul is accomplishing. Their ears come across as listening, and their tongues seems to be talking. But no matter what it may seem to be, it is not only the tongue that talks. And in spite of form, it is not only the ears that hear. That which speaks and hears is the invisible soul within. The effect of the long standing tradition of Qur'anic memorization on a child is similarly invisible.
And this is what happens to a child when he memorizes the words of Allah, the Exalted. We might think they are just memorizing words. But in actuality, every letter they say, every sound they make, makes an imprint in their hearts and minds which enables them to take the imitated step of converting his oral recognition of Qur'anic language into a physical act.
The best education we can give our children is the memorization of the Holy Qur'an. As Rasulullah (saw) said: "No group of people gathers in one of the houses of Allah to recite the Book of Allah and study it together, but tranquility descends upon them, the angels surround them, mercy comes down upon them, and Allah mentions them to those who are with Him." (Muslim).
The first group of students I ever taught was a group of 9 year-olds in a Hafidh Program in 1998. I was merely their English teacher. As each day passed by, I saw little beings change from being passive to being connected. I witnessed what seemed at the time insignificant moments of sharing between classmates evolve into brotherhood. I saw the honor of one being defended by all, and I saw the grief of a few being shared by many. They finished the school year with highest class percentage of 98% in all subjects, and to this day continue to excel academically. This is rare to find in America today. There was nothing magical in it. They were revolutionized because they entrusted their time with Allah, by the memorization of the Holy Qur'an, the words of Allah, the Exalted.
The vessels for preservation of Islam are in our children's hearts. Allah says:
"Nay, but they, the clear ayat, are preserved in the breasts of those who have been given knowledge…" [Qur'an 29:49]
It is our duty to plant these seeds in our children for we must equip them for what lay ahead of them. There is no better time to preserve our heritage than today, in these critical times.
As there are numerous full-time schools sprouting in the west, it is time that we as parents invest our children's time memorizing the Qur'an and join the ranks of thousands who seek to earn the pleasure of Allah (azza wajal) and preserve the very foundation of our Islamic identity. Yes! It's better than a doctorate degree from Harvard as we are reminded by the words of the Prophet (saw) about its reward:
Buraydah (r) said: "I was sitting with the Prophet (saw) and I heard him say: ..The Qur'an will meet its companion on the Day of Resurrection when his grave is opened for him, looking like a pale man, and it will say to him, 'Do you know who I am?' He will say, I do not know you.' It will say to him, 'Do you know who I am?' He will say, I do not know you.' It will say, 'I am your companion the Qur'an, who made you thirsty on hot days and kept you awake at night. Every merchant will benefit from his trade, and today you will benefit too.' He will be given power in his right hand and immortality in his left, and on his head will be placed a crown of dignity. His parents will be given two garments the like of which could never be made by the people of this world and they will say, 'How did we earn these?' It will be said, 'Because your child learned the Qur'an.' Then it will be said to him, 'Read and go up through the levels and rooms of Paradise. He will keep on ascending as long as he reads or recites.'" (Ahmad).
The long standing tradition of Qur'anic memorization is analogous to the sugar, doing its work in secret. In a child who embarks on the journey of memorizing Qur'an we see that the hands, nose, ears, eyes, and tongue are dynamic, but no one can see what the soul is accomplishing. Their ears come across as listening, and their tongues seems to be talking. But no matter what it may seem to be, it is not only the tongue that talks. And in spite of form, it is not only the ears that hear. That which speaks and hears is the invisible soul within. The effect of the long standing tradition of Qur'anic memorization on a child is similarly invisible.
And this is what happens to a child when he memorizes the words of Allah, the Exalted. We might think they are just memorizing words. But in actuality, every letter they say, every sound they make, makes an imprint in their hearts and minds which enables them to take the imitated step of converting his oral recognition of Qur'anic language into a physical act.
The best education we can give our children is the memorization of the Holy Qur'an. As Rasulullah (saw) said: "No group of people gathers in one of the houses of Allah to recite the Book of Allah and study it together, but tranquility descends upon them, the angels surround them, mercy comes down upon them, and Allah mentions them to those who are with Him." (Muslim).
The first group of students I ever taught was a group of 9 year-olds in a Hafidh Program in 1998. I was merely their English teacher. As each day passed by, I saw little beings change from being passive to being connected. I witnessed what seemed at the time insignificant moments of sharing between classmates evolve into brotherhood. I saw the honor of one being defended by all, and I saw the grief of a few being shared by many. They finished the school year with highest class percentage of 98% in all subjects, and to this day continue to excel academically. This is rare to find in America today. There was nothing magical in it. They were revolutionized because they entrusted their time with Allah, by the memorization of the Holy Qur'an, the words of Allah, the Exalted.
The vessels for preservation of Islam are in our children's hearts. Allah says:
"Nay, but they, the clear ayat, are preserved in the breasts of those who have been given knowledge…" [Qur'an 29:49]
It is our duty to plant these seeds in our children for we must equip them for what lay ahead of them. There is no better time to preserve our heritage than today, in these critical times.
As there are numerous full-time schools sprouting in the west, it is time that we as parents invest our children's time memorizing the Qur'an and join the ranks of thousands who seek to earn the pleasure of Allah (azza wajal) and preserve the very foundation of our Islamic identity. Yes! It's better than a doctorate degree from Harvard as we are reminded by the words of the Prophet (saw) about its reward:
Buraydah (r) said: "I was sitting with the Prophet (saw) and I heard him say: ..The Qur'an will meet its companion on the Day of Resurrection when his grave is opened for him, looking like a pale man, and it will say to him, 'Do you know who I am?' He will say, I do not know you.' It will say to him, 'Do you know who I am?' He will say, I do not know you.' It will say, 'I am your companion the Qur'an, who made you thirsty on hot days and kept you awake at night. Every merchant will benefit from his trade, and today you will benefit too.' He will be given power in his right hand and immortality in his left, and on his head will be placed a crown of dignity. His parents will be given two garments the like of which could never be made by the people of this world and they will say, 'How did we earn these?' It will be said, 'Because your child learned the Qur'an.' Then it will be said to him, 'Read and go up through the levels and rooms of Paradise. He will keep on ascending as long as he reads or recites.'" (Ahmad).
Fear Allah and Treat Your Children Fairly
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger Muhammad and upon his family and companions.
Allah has enjoined upon children to honour and respect their parents. He has made the parents’ rights very great and has connected duties towards to parents to duties towards Him and the obligation to worship Him alone (Tawheed). Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Worship Allah and join none with Him (in worship); and do good to parents…"
[Qur'an al-Nisaa’ 4:36]
And Allah has given the children rights over their parents, such as education and a good upbringing, spending on their needs, and treating them fairly.
One of the bad social phenomena that are to be found in some families is the lack of fair treatment towards the children. Some fathers and mothers deliberately give gifts to some of their children and not others. According to the correct view, this is a haraam action, unless there is some justification for it, such as one child having a need that the others do not have, e.g., sickness; debt; a reward for memorizing the Qur'an; not being able to find work; having a large family; full-time studies, etc. The parent should have the intention – when giving something to one of his children for a legitimate (shar’iah) reason – that he will do the same of any of his other children should the need arise. The general evidence (daleel) for this is the ayah (interpretation of the meaning):
"Be just: that is nearer to piety; and fear Allah."
[Qur'an al-Maa’idah 5:8].
The specific evidence is the hadeeth narrated from al-Nu’maan ibn Basheer (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that his father brought him to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said: "I have given this son of mine a slave that I had." The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Have you given something similar to all of your children?" He said, "No." So the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Then take (the slave) back." (Narrated by al-Bukhaari; see al-Fath, 5/211). According to another report, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Fear Allah and be fair to your children." He said: so he came back and took his gift back. (al-Fath, 5/211). According to another report, "Do not ask me to bear witness to this, for I will not bear witness to injustice." (Sahih Muslim, 3/1243).
A male should be given the share of two females, as is the case with inheritance. This is the view of Imam Ahmad (may Allah have mercy on him) (Masaa’il al-Imaam Ahmad li Abi Dawood, 204). Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim explained it in detail in his footnote on Abu Dawood. Anyone who looks at the state of affairs in some families will note that some of those parents who do not fear Allah favour some of their children over others when it comes to gift-giving. This fills the hearts of the children with hatred towards one another and sows the seeds of enmity. A father might give gifts to one child because he (the child) resembles his paternal uncles, and withhold gifts from another because he resembles his maternal uncles; he might give to the children of one wife things that he does not give to the children of another; or he might put the children of one wife but not the children of another into private schools. This will backfire on him, because in many cases the child who has been deprived will not honor his father in the future. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to the man who had preferred one of his children over others in giving him a gift: "Would you not like all of them to honor you equally?" (Narrated by Imaam Ahmad, 4/269; Sahih Muslim, no. 1623).
One of the Salaf said: "Their rights over you are that you should treat them all fairly, and your right over them is that they should honour you."
Another way in which parents fail to treat their children fairly is when they bequeath something in their will to some of their children, or they give them more than the share allocated to them by sharee’ah, or they deny some of their children their inheritance. Some women bequeath their gold to their daughters and not their sons, despite the fact that it is a part of the inheritance, or a woman might state in her will that a gift given to her by one of her children should be given back to him after she dies, claiming that she is being kind to him just as he was kind to her. All of this is not permitted, because there is no bequest to an heir [i.e., one cannot bequeath something to one of the heirs whose share is dictated by sharee’ah]. Whatever was a part of the possessions of the mother or father who has died belongs to all the heirs and is to be shared out according to the laws enjoined by Allah.
Each parent should remind the other if he or she is not being fair and should stand firm on this issue, so that justice will be established. This includes referring matters to scholars as is indicated in the report which follows the hadeeth of al-Nu’maan ibn Basheer who said:
"My father gave me some of his wealth, and my mother ‘Amrah bint Rawaahah said: ‘I will not accept this until you ask the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) to bear witness to it.’ So my father went to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) to ask him to bear witness to the gift he had given me. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to him, ‘Have you done this for all your children?’ He said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Fear Allah and treat all your children fairly.’ So my father came back and took back his gift." (Narrated by Muslim, no. 1623).
We ask Allah to help us to honour our parents and to treat our children fairly, and to adhere steadfastly to our religion. Ameen
Allah has enjoined upon children to honour and respect their parents. He has made the parents’ rights very great and has connected duties towards to parents to duties towards Him and the obligation to worship Him alone (Tawheed). Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Worship Allah and join none with Him (in worship); and do good to parents…"
[Qur'an al-Nisaa’ 4:36]
And Allah has given the children rights over their parents, such as education and a good upbringing, spending on their needs, and treating them fairly.
One of the bad social phenomena that are to be found in some families is the lack of fair treatment towards the children. Some fathers and mothers deliberately give gifts to some of their children and not others. According to the correct view, this is a haraam action, unless there is some justification for it, such as one child having a need that the others do not have, e.g., sickness; debt; a reward for memorizing the Qur'an; not being able to find work; having a large family; full-time studies, etc. The parent should have the intention – when giving something to one of his children for a legitimate (shar’iah) reason – that he will do the same of any of his other children should the need arise. The general evidence (daleel) for this is the ayah (interpretation of the meaning):
"Be just: that is nearer to piety; and fear Allah."
[Qur'an al-Maa’idah 5:8].
The specific evidence is the hadeeth narrated from al-Nu’maan ibn Basheer (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that his father brought him to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said: "I have given this son of mine a slave that I had." The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Have you given something similar to all of your children?" He said, "No." So the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Then take (the slave) back." (Narrated by al-Bukhaari; see al-Fath, 5/211). According to another report, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Fear Allah and be fair to your children." He said: so he came back and took his gift back. (al-Fath, 5/211). According to another report, "Do not ask me to bear witness to this, for I will not bear witness to injustice." (Sahih Muslim, 3/1243).
A male should be given the share of two females, as is the case with inheritance. This is the view of Imam Ahmad (may Allah have mercy on him) (Masaa’il al-Imaam Ahmad li Abi Dawood, 204). Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim explained it in detail in his footnote on Abu Dawood. Anyone who looks at the state of affairs in some families will note that some of those parents who do not fear Allah favour some of their children over others when it comes to gift-giving. This fills the hearts of the children with hatred towards one another and sows the seeds of enmity. A father might give gifts to one child because he (the child) resembles his paternal uncles, and withhold gifts from another because he resembles his maternal uncles; he might give to the children of one wife things that he does not give to the children of another; or he might put the children of one wife but not the children of another into private schools. This will backfire on him, because in many cases the child who has been deprived will not honor his father in the future. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to the man who had preferred one of his children over others in giving him a gift: "Would you not like all of them to honor you equally?" (Narrated by Imaam Ahmad, 4/269; Sahih Muslim, no. 1623).
One of the Salaf said: "Their rights over you are that you should treat them all fairly, and your right over them is that they should honour you."
Another way in which parents fail to treat their children fairly is when they bequeath something in their will to some of their children, or they give them more than the share allocated to them by sharee’ah, or they deny some of their children their inheritance. Some women bequeath their gold to their daughters and not their sons, despite the fact that it is a part of the inheritance, or a woman might state in her will that a gift given to her by one of her children should be given back to him after she dies, claiming that she is being kind to him just as he was kind to her. All of this is not permitted, because there is no bequest to an heir [i.e., one cannot bequeath something to one of the heirs whose share is dictated by sharee’ah]. Whatever was a part of the possessions of the mother or father who has died belongs to all the heirs and is to be shared out according to the laws enjoined by Allah.
Each parent should remind the other if he or she is not being fair and should stand firm on this issue, so that justice will be established. This includes referring matters to scholars as is indicated in the report which follows the hadeeth of al-Nu’maan ibn Basheer who said:
"My father gave me some of his wealth, and my mother ‘Amrah bint Rawaahah said: ‘I will not accept this until you ask the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) to bear witness to it.’ So my father went to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) to ask him to bear witness to the gift he had given me. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to him, ‘Have you done this for all your children?’ He said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Fear Allah and treat all your children fairly.’ So my father came back and took back his gift." (Narrated by Muslim, no. 1623).
We ask Allah to help us to honour our parents and to treat our children fairly, and to adhere steadfastly to our religion. Ameen
Have you Talked with Your Child Today?
By Dr. Aisha Hamdan
Have you had a meaningful conversation together? Do you know what your child accomplished today, how he may be feeling, whether or not he has any concerns? Does your child know that you care about him?
In Islam, the ties of kinship and family are very strong and something that will always be present throughout our lifetime. There are very serious consequences for someone who decides to break these ties. Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, says,"Then, is it to be expected of you, if you were put in authority, that you will do mischief in the land, and break your ties of kith and kin? Such are the men whom Allah has cursed for He has made them deaf and blinded their sight." [Qur'an 47:22-23]. The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, said,"Whoever severs the bonds of kinship will not enter Paradise." (Bukhari and Muslim).
A major component of our familial ties is communication. In fact, without communication there would be little connection between people. Living together in the same household with limited, or even hostile, interaction would not fit the criteria for maintaining the bonds of kinship. To develop meaningful relationships within our families we need to know how to communicate effectively and sincerely with each other. A large part of this involves skills and principles that can be learned through practice and sincere effort. The following is a guide to strengthen these ties that bind.
1) Active Listening.
You may be surprised to discover that the most important aspect of effective communication is listening. This means that the listener pays full attention to the speaker and attempts to understand what that person is saying and feeling. The listener should suspend judgment, show interest, and respect what is being said. He or she may then restate the content and feelings to demonstrate that sincerity is present. The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, always gave his full attention to anyone that he conversed with, even his enemies and those with whom he disagreed. When he addressed his companions, they listened intently and attached importance to everything he said.
2) Level of Understanding.
Parents should always keep in mind the age and level of understanding of their child and should speak with him accordingly. The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, said "Speak to the people keeping in view their level of understanding. Would you like to see them think of what you tell them from Allah and His Messenger as lies?" (Bukhari) This is important so that the child will be able to comprehend what is said, the expectations of the parents will not go beyond the capacity of the child and lead to problems, and difficulties will not be placed upon the child unnecessarily. This is particularly pertinent for sensitive issues such as death, personal modesty issues, and adult responsibilities. There are various levels of complexity with each of these and the correct level needs to be chosen for each child. One way to ascertain this is by the type of questions that a child asks.
3) The Manners of a Mu'min.
A believer is someone who believes in Allah's Message and follows the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam. In relationships then, a believer would demonstrate honesty, kindness, patience, self-restraint, fairness, trustworthiness, etc. He would avoid teasing, blaming, belittling, mocking, excessive and idle talk, and fault-finding. There are many Qur'anic verses and ahadeeth that give detailed descriptions of this topic such as: "Verily, Allah is with the patient." [2: 153], "Speak fair to the people." [2:83], "Kind words and covering of faults are better than charity followed by injury." [2:263], "A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim. He does not wrong him, nor insult him nor humiliate him." (Muslim), and "The thing which will make the majority of people enter Paradise is fear of Allah and good manners." (Tirmithi) These principles should be applied in conversations with children and teenagers as well as adults. It is probably even more important with young people because we are setting an example for them. What do we want our children to learn? We can not expect kindness and respect from our children if we are not being kind and respectful toward them.
4) Avoiding Contention.
The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "If a man gives up contention when he is in the wrong, a house will be built for him within the Garden of Paradise; but if a man gives up contention, even when he is in the right, a house will be built for him in the loftiest part of the Garden." (Termithi) The value of this advice lies in the fact that contention and disputes lead to a breakdown in the relationship, even rancor, enmity, and hostility. I have worked with many families where this has occurred and it can be very difficult to mend the wounds that have been created and to bring family members back together. It goes without saying that it is best to completely avoid reaching this low level.
Let us all work to improve our style of communication and our relationships with each other. When our children feel that their parents understand them and are willing to listen to them, they will open up their hearts and trust will develop. Effective teaching and discipline cannot be implemented without a certain level of trust, understanding, and mutual respect. If you are concerned about your children in a non-Muslim environment and it is affecting the way you interact with them, the best you can do is teach and advise them, give them responsibility, trust them, and let them know that you care for them. We can then make du'a and rely upon Allah's Grace and Assistance. This is our best weapon in a world of non-belief. May Allah help each of us to strengthen the ties that bind us together as a family and bring happiness and contentment to our homes.
PRACTICAL TIPS:
* Set aside some time each day to talk with your child. If you have more than one child, each should have their own equal, individual time.
* Read books with your child about Islam that pertain to relationships with others and stories about the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, and the companions, radiallaahu anhum. These will provide you with the necessary guidelines and inspiration.
* Tape record one of your conversations and rate yourself or have other give you feedback. This is an effective method to determine your weak areas and to improve upon them.
* Obtain advice from other parents when needed, especially those who have more experience. This may save time and avoid undue hardships and pain.
Have you had a meaningful conversation together? Do you know what your child accomplished today, how he may be feeling, whether or not he has any concerns? Does your child know that you care about him?
In Islam, the ties of kinship and family are very strong and something that will always be present throughout our lifetime. There are very serious consequences for someone who decides to break these ties. Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, says,"Then, is it to be expected of you, if you were put in authority, that you will do mischief in the land, and break your ties of kith and kin? Such are the men whom Allah has cursed for He has made them deaf and blinded their sight." [Qur'an 47:22-23]. The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, said,"Whoever severs the bonds of kinship will not enter Paradise." (Bukhari and Muslim).
A major component of our familial ties is communication. In fact, without communication there would be little connection between people. Living together in the same household with limited, or even hostile, interaction would not fit the criteria for maintaining the bonds of kinship. To develop meaningful relationships within our families we need to know how to communicate effectively and sincerely with each other. A large part of this involves skills and principles that can be learned through practice and sincere effort. The following is a guide to strengthen these ties that bind.
1) Active Listening.
You may be surprised to discover that the most important aspect of effective communication is listening. This means that the listener pays full attention to the speaker and attempts to understand what that person is saying and feeling. The listener should suspend judgment, show interest, and respect what is being said. He or she may then restate the content and feelings to demonstrate that sincerity is present. The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, always gave his full attention to anyone that he conversed with, even his enemies and those with whom he disagreed. When he addressed his companions, they listened intently and attached importance to everything he said.
2) Level of Understanding.
Parents should always keep in mind the age and level of understanding of their child and should speak with him accordingly. The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, said "Speak to the people keeping in view their level of understanding. Would you like to see them think of what you tell them from Allah and His Messenger as lies?" (Bukhari) This is important so that the child will be able to comprehend what is said, the expectations of the parents will not go beyond the capacity of the child and lead to problems, and difficulties will not be placed upon the child unnecessarily. This is particularly pertinent for sensitive issues such as death, personal modesty issues, and adult responsibilities. There are various levels of complexity with each of these and the correct level needs to be chosen for each child. One way to ascertain this is by the type of questions that a child asks.
3) The Manners of a Mu'min.
A believer is someone who believes in Allah's Message and follows the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam. In relationships then, a believer would demonstrate honesty, kindness, patience, self-restraint, fairness, trustworthiness, etc. He would avoid teasing, blaming, belittling, mocking, excessive and idle talk, and fault-finding. There are many Qur'anic verses and ahadeeth that give detailed descriptions of this topic such as: "Verily, Allah is with the patient." [2: 153], "Speak fair to the people." [2:83], "Kind words and covering of faults are better than charity followed by injury." [2:263], "A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim. He does not wrong him, nor insult him nor humiliate him." (Muslim), and "The thing which will make the majority of people enter Paradise is fear of Allah and good manners." (Tirmithi) These principles should be applied in conversations with children and teenagers as well as adults. It is probably even more important with young people because we are setting an example for them. What do we want our children to learn? We can not expect kindness and respect from our children if we are not being kind and respectful toward them.
4) Avoiding Contention.
The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "If a man gives up contention when he is in the wrong, a house will be built for him within the Garden of Paradise; but if a man gives up contention, even when he is in the right, a house will be built for him in the loftiest part of the Garden." (Termithi) The value of this advice lies in the fact that contention and disputes lead to a breakdown in the relationship, even rancor, enmity, and hostility. I have worked with many families where this has occurred and it can be very difficult to mend the wounds that have been created and to bring family members back together. It goes without saying that it is best to completely avoid reaching this low level.
Let us all work to improve our style of communication and our relationships with each other. When our children feel that their parents understand them and are willing to listen to them, they will open up their hearts and trust will develop. Effective teaching and discipline cannot be implemented without a certain level of trust, understanding, and mutual respect. If you are concerned about your children in a non-Muslim environment and it is affecting the way you interact with them, the best you can do is teach and advise them, give them responsibility, trust them, and let them know that you care for them. We can then make du'a and rely upon Allah's Grace and Assistance. This is our best weapon in a world of non-belief. May Allah help each of us to strengthen the ties that bind us together as a family and bring happiness and contentment to our homes.
PRACTICAL TIPS:
* Set aside some time each day to talk with your child. If you have more than one child, each should have their own equal, individual time.
* Read books with your child about Islam that pertain to relationships with others and stories about the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, and the companions, radiallaahu anhum. These will provide you with the necessary guidelines and inspiration.
* Tape record one of your conversations and rate yourself or have other give you feedback. This is an effective method to determine your weak areas and to improve upon them.
* Obtain advice from other parents when needed, especially those who have more experience. This may save time and avoid undue hardships and pain.
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