Pre Material Relations

Pre-Marital Relations

May Allah bless Shaykh who has with his advices saved many young men and women from committing fornication before marriage, by pointing out the whole truth in such a manner that the youth of today find it palatable and adhere to his advices. Once Shaykh very candidly called out to the youth of the community:

“When young men and women date with each other (before marriage), they think that by doing this I am going to get to know the person well and then I can then decide whether we will be compatible or not. Remember that this is a deceit. When a young man and young woman go out together they usually only show a front and their best side, and most faults are concealed. Therefore after a ‘love marriage’ people face problem immediately [because ‘they don’t seem to know that person anymore’].

One can also make a assumption that perhaps these types of marriages face furthermore problems than other marriages [without pre-marital relations] because one has an already fixed an expectation that this person was such before and should be so now. Where as a couple whom have not had pre-martial relations will be open-minded and become willing to face any problem that come their way”.

Another time Shaykh said “A young man came to me and said ‘Shaykh I don’t find my wife attractive any more, and neither does she find me attractive. I don’t understand’, he said ‘before marriage we were extremely attracted to each other’. I replied [said Shaykh] to this young chap. ‘It’s quite simple. The love that you had was actually an infatuation, and Shaytaan deliberately put that attraction in the both of you so that you went on committing sin before marriage. It was favourable for him to do so because you were both in grave loss. However, after you got married, your interaction became Halal and lawful, so in fact, instead of sin you were now gaining reward, so Shaytaan removed that attraction, because you were evidently in gain!”

Source: In Shaykh's Company

100 Questio

100 Pre Marital Questions

1. What is your concept of marriage?
2. Have you been married before?
3. Are you married now?
4. What are you expectations of marriage?
5. What are your goals in life? (long and short term)
6. Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future.
7. Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term.
8. Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?
9. What is the role of religion in your life now?
10. Are you a spiritual person?
11. What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?
12. What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?
13. What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims community in your area?
14. Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities?
15. What can you offer your zawj (spouse), spiritually?
16. What is the role of the husband?
17. What is the role of the wife?
18. Do you want to practice polygamy?
19. What is your relationship with your family?
20. What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be?
21. What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be?
22. Is there anyone in your family living with you now?
23. Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?
24. If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what should be done?
25. Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.)
26. How did you get to know them?
27. Why are they your friends?
28. What do you like most about them?
29. What will your relationship with them after marriage be?
30. Do you have friends of the opposite sex?
31. What is the level of your relationship with them now?
32. What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?
33. What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends?
34. What are the things that you do in your free time?
35. Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?
36. What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?
37. What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not understand? (with friends or family)
38. Do you travel?
39. How do you spend your vacations?
40. How do you think your spouse should spend vacations?
41. Do you read?
42. What do you read?
43. After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally?
44. After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public?
45. How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now?
46. How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favor for you?
47. Do you like to write your feelings?
48. If you wrong someone, how do you apologize?
49. If someone has wronged you, how do you want (s)he to apologize to you?
50. How much time passes before you can forgive someone?
51. How do you make important and less important decisions in your life?
52. Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family?
53. Do your friends use foul language?
54. Does your family use foul language?
55. How do you express anger?
56. How do you expect your spouse to express anger?
57. What do you do when you are angry?
58. When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage?
59. When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how should the conflict get resolved?
60. Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.
61. What would you do if you felt that you had been abused?
62. Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused?
63. Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?
64. Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage?
65. What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?
66. How do you support your own health and nutrition?
67. What is you definition of wealth?
68. How do you spend money?
69. How do you save money?
70. How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?
71. Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them?
72. Do you use credit cards?
73. Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?
74. What are you expecting from your spouse financially?
75. What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?
76. Do you support the idea of a working wife?
77. If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?
78. Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?
79. Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?
80. Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids?
81. Do you want to have children? If not, how come?
82. To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?
83. Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when?
84. Do you believe in abortion?
85. Do you have children now?
86. What is your relationship with your children now?
87. What is your relationship with their other parent?
88. What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parent?
89. What is the best method(s) of raising children?
90. What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?
91. How were you raised?
92. How were you disciplined?
93. Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?
94. Do you believe in public school for your children?
95. Do you believe in Islamic school for your children?
96. Do you believe in home schooling for your children?
97. What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim classmates/friends?
98. Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country?
99. What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents?
100. If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?

Family Palaning & Islam

Family Planning and Islam: A Review
by Khalid Farooq Akbar
Article reprinted courtesy of Hamdard Islamicus Vol. XVII, No. 3
Is birth control permissible in Islam?
Muslim jurists and abortion

In Pakistan, demographic matters have gained prime importance because of an unprecedented large increase in her population. Pakistan is the ninth most populous country in the world. According to an estimate, it's population was 112 million in 1990 and would increase to 163 million in 2003. [1] The population of Pakistan is growing at a rate of 3.0% which is among the highest in the world. [2]
This gigantic increase in population has emerged as a matter of great public concern because it is undermining our efforts to raise living standards of our people. It is true that due to mechanized agriculture, use of fertilizers and cultivation of high yielding varieties of grains, agricultural output has increased considerably. Industries are also expanding. But the country is not showing sufficient signs of progress because progress made by Pakistan is being nullified by her rapid population growth.
Every year, more than 3.37 million new individuals are added. [3] Due to this population explosion, Pakistan is least able to provide large additions of youngsters with food, clothing and education, and of young adults with jobs, housing and other consumer essentials, while trying to break out of the vicious circle of poverty.
The gravity of this crisis, as a cause of impending mass misery, as a threat to social system, and as a major obstacle in the path of our efforts to raise levels of living, had been acknowledged in the '50s. Pakistan is among those countries who first of all started government sponsored population control programmes. But in the last 30 years, after spending nearly five billion rupees on population control campaigns, we have failed to restrain the rate of population growth. [4] There is little evidence of any positive results of these programmes except some slogans printed on postal envelopes and some billboards with jingles.
The eighties brought a renewed recognition of the urgency of the population and development question in Pakistan. We are entering or have already entered a phase of net food deficit and can avert food shortages only if we embark upon extensive programmes of modernizing our agriculture and, at the same time, try to limit our population growth to manageable levels.
By analysing the cause of failure of family planning programmes in Pakistan--given the fact that hundreds of millions of rupees have been spent by national and international agencies--it has been felt that ambiguity over the way Islam views family planning has been a primary obstacle to the large scale acceptance of family planning programmes. Many Muslims, including religious scholars, have misperceptions about family planning within the context of Islam. This article is an effort to clear these misconceptions that many Muslims have about the lawfulness of birth control in Islam.
Is birth control permissible in Islam?
A Muslim has three sources of knowledge to obtain answers to the questions pertaining to various aspects of human life. These sources are:
1. The Holy Qur'an;
2. Sayings (hadith) and acts (Sunnah) of the Holy Prophet (pbuh); and
3. The views of the leaders of juristic schools qualified to interpret the teachings of Islam.
1. The Holy Qur'an
No Qur'anic text forbids prevention of conception. There are, however, some Qur'anic verses which prohibit infanticide and these are used by some Muslims to discourage birth control.
But contraception does not amount to killing a human being. These verses in fact were revealed to forbid the pre-Islamic Arab practice of killing or burying alive a newborn child (particularly a girl) on account of the parents' poverty or to refrain from having a female child. Perhaps in those days, people did not know safe methods of contraception and early abortion.
2. Hadith
The principle of preventing conception was accepted in those sayings of the Prophet (pbuh) which allowed some of his followers to practice 'azl or coitus interruptus. These ahadith embodied the earliest legal reasoning of Muslims on contraception and were essential instruments of argument in later Islamic thought on contraception. There is a sufficient number of ahadith on contraception. The most commonly quoted ones are the following. [5]
1. According to Jabir, "We used to practise 'azl in the Prophet's (pbuh) lifetime while the Qur'an was being revealed." There is another version of the same hadith, "We used to practise coitus interruptus during the Prophet's (pbuh) lifetime. News of this reached him and he did not forbid us."
2. According to Jabir, "A man came to the Prophet (pbuh) and said, 'I have a slave girl, and we need her as a servant and around the palmgroves. I have sex with her, but I am afraid of her becoming pregnant.' The Prophet (pbuh) said, 'Practice 'azl with her if you so wish, for she will receive what has been predestined for her.'"
3. According to Abu Sa'id, "We rode out with the Prophet (pbuh) to raid Banu al-Mustaliq and captured some female prisoners . . . we desired women and abstinence became hard. [But] we wanted to practise 'azl; and asked the Prophet (pbuh) about it. He said, 'You do not have to hesitate, for God has predestined what is to be created until the judgement day.'"
4. According to Abu Sa'id, "The Jews say that coitus interruptus is minor infanticide, and the Prophet (pbuh) answered, 'The Jews lie, for if God wanted to create something, no one can avert it (or divert Him).'"
5. According to 'Umar Ibn Khattab, "The Prophet (pbuh) forbade the practice of 'azl with a free woman except with her permission."
6. According to Anas, "A man asked the Prophet (pbuh) about 'azl and the Prophet (pbuh) said, 'Even if you spill a seed from which a child was meant to be born on a rock, God will bring forth from that rock a child.'"
7. According to Judhamah bint Wahb, "I was there when the Prophet (pbuh) was with a group saying, "I was about to prohibit the ghila (intercourse with a woman in lactation) but I observed the Byzantines and the Persians, and saw them do it, and their children were not harmed.' They asked him about coitus interruptus, and the Prophet (pbuh) replied, 'It is a hidden infanticide . . .'"
These ahadith reflect two points: first that the Prophet (pbuh) knew about the practice and did not prohibit it (no. 1), and second, that the Prophet (pbuh) himself permitted the practice (no. 2 & 3).
The hadith from Judhamah (no.7) was an approximation to the homicide traditions of the Jewish and Christian traditions. This hadith provided support for Ibn Hazm's minority view that 'azl was prohibited by the Prophet (pbuh). But medieval jurists used the hadith about the Jews (no. 4) to refute the argument for prohibition. They claimed that how the Prophet (pbuh) could have maintained that the Jews lied by calling 'azl akin to infanticide and then have maintained the same opinion himself. [6]
Views of medieval Muslim jurists
Muslim jurists do not speak with one voice on the question of birth prevention, on it's lawfulness, on conditions for practice and on methods that may be used. Muslim jurists determine the lawfulness of an act on the basis of a method which comprises four principles or sources (usul). Two of these (Qur'an and Sunnah) are religious sources. The other two principles include analogical reasoning (qiyas) and the consensus of the 'ulama (ijma').
The most detailed analysis of Islamic permission of contraception was made by the great leader of the Shafi'i School of jurism, al-Ghazzali (1058-1111). He discussed this issue in his great work, Ihya' 'ulum al-Din (The revival of Religious Sciences), in the chapter on biology in religion. [7]
Al-Ghazzali stated that there was no basis for prohibiting 'azl. For prohibition in Islam was possible only by adducing an original text (nass, an explicit provision in the Qur'an or hadith) or by analogy with a given text. In the case of contraception, there was no such text, nor was there any principle on which to base prohibition.
In his view, coitus interruptus was permitted absolutely (mubah) and this permission could be ratified by analogical reasoning. A man could refrain from marriage; or marry but abstain from mating or have sexual mating but abstain from ejaculation inside the vagina--'azl. Although it was better to marry, have intercourse, and have ejaculation inside the vagina, abstention from these was by no means forbidden or unlawful. [8]
Al-Ghazzali made a distinction between infanticide and contraception. He said that a child could not be formed merely by the emission of the spermatic fluid, but by the settling of semen in the woman's womb; for children were not created by the man's semen alone but of both parents together. So contraception could not be compared with infanticide which was the killing of an existing being while contraception was different.
In the process of contraception, the two (male and female) emissions are analogous to two elements, 'offer' (ijab) and 'acceptance' (qabul) which are components of a legal contract in Islamic law. Someone who submits an offer and then withdraws it before the other party accepts it is not guilty of any violation, for a contract does not come into existence before acceptance. In the same manner, there is no real difference between the man's emission or retention of the semen unless it actually mixes with the woman's 'semen'.
Al-Ghazzali classified earlier and contemporary opinions into three groups:
1. Unconditional permission for 'azl;
2. Permission if the wife consents but prohibition if she does not. This is the view of Hanbali and Maliki groups, of Zaydiyah scholars and of 'Ibadites, survivors of the Kharijite sect. According to some Hanafi scholars, this condition does not apply if the husband is convinced that the child will grow in an unhealthy moral environment.
3. Complete prohibition, a view expressed by Ibn Hazm and his followers of the Zahiriyah School. [9]
Al-Ghazzali accepts prevention or contraception if the motive for the act is any of these: (1) a desire to preserve a woman's beauty or her health, or save her life; (2) desire to avoid financial hardship and embarrassment; (3) avoidance of other domestic problems caused by a large family. He did not accept avoidance of female birth as a legitimate motive for contraception.
Another great scholar, Ibn Taymiyah, discussed Divine providence, procreation and contraception (in this way) in the early fourteenth century. He argues, "Allah creates children and other animals in the womb by willing the meeting of parents in intercourse, and the two semens in the womb. A man is a fool who says, 'I shall depend on God and not approach my wife and if it is willed that I be granted a child I will be given one, otherwise not and there is no need for intercourse.' This is very different from having intercourse and practising withdrawal, for withdrawal does not prevent pregnancy if God wills a pregnancy to occur, because there can be involuntary pre-emission of semen." [10]
In all the early Muslim scholars, only one jurist rejected 'azl absolutely. This was the Spaniard, Ibn Hazm (994-1063) who belonged to the Zahiriyah School of jurism which was a short-lived movement. Ibn Hazm argued that numerous permissive ahadith were early and reflected the fact that in Islam everything was lawful until the Prophet (pbuh) prohibited it specifically. He based his argument on the hadith quoted by Judhamah bint Wahb. [11]
Ibn Hazm claimed that the Prophet (pbuh) had abrogated these permissive ahadith when he later said that 'azl was 'hidden infanticide.' Since the Qur'an prohibits infanticide in the strongest possible terms, and the Prophet (pbuh) called coitus interruptus hidden infanticide, he maintained that 'azl was prohibited also.
The views of Ibn Hazm were strongly opposed by later jurists. The most notable of these was the Hanbali scholar, Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah (1291-1351), who proved 'azl as permissible in his famous work, Zad al-Ma'ad. Ibn Qayyim showed that the claim of Ibn Hazm required an exact historical dating to prove that the abrogating hadith was subsequent to the 'permissive' hadith and that such an exact dating was impossible. [12] He added that, in any case, it was generally agreed in the Islamic law that infanticide applied only after the foetus was formed and the child born. Infanticide thus defined was prohibited, coitus interruptus was clearly something else.
Some other scholars of the Prophet's (pbuh) tradition, like Ibn Majah and Ahmad, agreed that coitus interruptus was permitted by the Prophet (pbuh). [13]
This in brief is the review of juristic opinion about contraception. There is no doubt that the earliest followers of the Prophet (pbuh) practised 'azl. This practice was within his knowledge and he did not forbid it.
Muslim jurists and abortion
Many Muslim scholars have discussed the thorny question of abortion. They have based their discussion on the division of the development of foetus into two stages. According to them, the whole period of pregnancy can be divided into two stages: the first 120 days, and the remaining period before childbirth. Most classical Muslim jurists claim that it is permissible to have an abortion for valid reasons during the first stage. [14]
The Holy Qur'an has also described the process of foetal development. According to it, the development of foetus progresses though stages of differentiation and growth.
Man We did create from a quintessence (of clay); then We placed him as (a drop of) sperm in a place of rest, firmly fixed; then We made the sperm into a clot of congealed blood; then of that clot We made a (foetus) lump; then We made out of that lump bones and clothed the bones with flesh; then We developed out of it another creature. So blessed by God the Best to create! [15]
In another Surah:
O mankind! If you have a doubt about the Resurrection, (consider) that We have created you of dust; then of sperm; then out of a leech-like clot, then out of a morsel of flesh, partly formed and partly unformed, in order that We may manifest (Our power) to you; and We cause whom We will in the wombs, for an appointed term, then do We bring you out as babes.[16]
All Muslim scholars agree that the foetus changes to a human being after 120 days of conception. The following hadith also supports this point.
The Prophet (pbuh) said, "Each of you is constituted in your mother's womb for forty days as a nutfah, then it becomes an 'alaqah for an equal period, then a mudghah for another equal period, then the angel is sent and he breathes the soul into it." [17]
This view of embryonic development was central to the Muslim arguments on abortion. According to Muslim scholars, it is lawful to have an abortion during the first 120 days, but after the stage of ensoulment, abortion is prohibited completely except where it is imperative to save the mother's life.
The Hanafi scholars, who comprised the majority of orthodox Muslims in later centuries, permitted abortion until the end of the four months. According to them, a pregnant woman could have an abortion without her husband's permission, but she should have reasonable grounds for this act. [18] One reason which was mentioned frequently was the presence of a nursing infant. A new pregnancy put an upper limit on lactation, and the jurists believed that if the mother could not be replaced by a wet-nurse, the infant would die.
A considerable majority of the Maliki jurists described abortion as completely forbidden. In their view, when the semen settles in the womb, it is expected to develop into a living baby and it should not be disturbed by anyone. According to Ibn Jawziyyah, when the womb has retained the semen, it is not permitted for the husband and wife, or one of them or the master of the slave-wife, to induce an abortion. After ensoulment, however, abortion is prohibited absolutely and is akin to murder. [19]
Many Shafi'i and Hanbali scholars agreed with the Hanafis in their tolerance of the practice, some putting an upper limit of forty days for a legal abortion, other eighty days or 120 days.
By comparing the Muslim jurists' consensus on the permission of contraception, there appears a difference of opinion on abortion. But given the fact that prohibition was not the dominant view by any standard, given the fact that Muslims believed in ensoulment as the crucial event before which the foetus was not a person, and given the fact that the sanction of contraception strengthened the view that abortion should be legalized before ensoulment, perhaps we can say that, on the whole, abortion was religiously tolerated. This conclusion gains indirect support from the contemporary medieval Arabic secular literature. Medicine, materia medica and popular literature all treated contraception and abortion as if they were two aspects of the same process: birth control.
Views of some modern Muslim jurists
The Grand Mufti of Jordan, Shaykh 'Abd Allah Al-Qalqili, issued a fatwa in 1964 in which he said:
There is agreement among the exponents of jurisprudence that coitus interruptus, as one of the methods for the prevention of childbearing, is allowed. Doctors of religion inferred from this that it is permissible to take a drug to prevent childbearing, or even to induce abortion. We confidently rule in this fatwa that it is permitted to take measures to limit childbearing. [20]
Another Muslim scholar, Dr. Ismail Balogun of Nigeria's University of Ibadan, wrote about the lawfulness of modern contraceptive methods:
The question that arises because coitus interruptus was the only contraceptive method known by the Prophet's Companions, and which practice the Prophet (pbuh) condones, is this: can Muslims of today practice any other method? The answer can only be in the affirmative, as long as other methods are not injurious, either to the man or woman. The question is tantamount to asking whether a Muslim can today wear clothes different in shape from those worn by the Prophet (pbuh) and his Companions during their time. [21]
Shaykh 'Ali Jad al-Haq, the Grand Mufti of Egypt, commented on the projection of family planning as a distrust in the popular belief that Allah will take care of a family's needs regardless of how big it grows, in these words:
Contraception, through withdrawal or any newer method, does not mean distrust in Allah's generosity or mercy. Do you recall what our Prophet (pbuh) said to the camelman who was afraid of losing his valuable beast? "First take the precaution of tying up your camel and then trust in Allah's care for her." Is this not the best counsel for combining planning with faith in God's concern for all? When Al-Ghazzali wrote about contraception as a possible solution of the family's problems, the great Imam was not suggesting disbelief in God's care for the family.'
Let me also refer to a famous verse from the Qur'an: "There is no creature on earth for whom Allah does not create the means of livelihood." The verse does not mean that man need not work for his livelihood. Omar bin Khattab, the second Caliph of Islam, explained this verse clearly: "The man who trusts Allah is one who believes that Allah will make the seed grow, but he does not neglect to sow his crop."
Human forethought and effort are certainly not incompatible with complete faith in Allah's care for His creation. [22]
Conclusion
The early followers of Islam were few and weak in the midst of a vast majority of aggressive and oppressive people. The good of the Muslims then required that there should be a call for the multiplication of their numbers, in order that they might be able at the time to fulfil their responsibilities in defending the mission of Islam and protecting the true religion of Allah against the power and multitudinous adversaries threatening it. But now we find that conditions have changed. We find that the density of population in the world threatens a serious reduction in the living standards of mankind to the extent that many men of thought have been prompted to seek family planning in every country so that the resources may not fall short of ensuring a decent living for it's people to provide public service for them.
Islam, as the religion of pristine nature, has never been opposed to what is good to man. Indeed it has always been ahead in the effort towards the achievement of this good so long as it is not in conflict with the purposes of Allah's law.
Family planning, understood by Islam, is not opposed to marriage or to the begetting of children, nor does it's concept imply disbelief in the doctrine of fate and Divine dispensation--for Allah Almighty has bestowed reason upon man to enable him to distinguish between the useful and the harmful, and to help him follow the path that would assure him happiness in this world as well as in the world to come.
________________________________________
Notes
1. Family Planning Association of Pakistan, The Invisible Threat (1990), p. 20.
2. Aziz, Q., "Pakistan and the Demographic Challenge," The Pakistan Times, April 26, 1991.
3. See No. 1 above.
4. Hassan, I., "Population Planning," The News, Nov. 15, 1992.
5. Wensinck, A.J., Hand Book of Early Muhammadan Tradition (Leiden: E.J. Brill, 1960), p. 112.
6. Musallam, B.F., Sex and Society in Islam (Cambridge University Press, 1983) p. 176.
7. Al-Ghazzali, Ihya' Ulum al-Din, Al Matba al-Azhariyya al-Misriyya (Cairo, 1302 A.H.).
8. Ibid.
9. Haq, A.J., 'An Interview with Grand Mufti of Egypt,' Populi II:2, 1984.
10. Ibn Taymiyah, Al-Fatawa al-Kubra, 5 vols. (Cairo: Dar al-Kutb al-Haditha, 1966).
11. Ibn Hazm, Al-Muhalla,, 11 vols. in 8, Cairo, 1352 A.H.
12. Ibn Qayyim, Bada'i al-Fawa'id, 4 vols., (Beirut: Dar-Al-Kitab al Arabi, n.d.).
13. Khan, A.H., 1987, Zabate Tauleed Key Baray Mein Islami Nazariyat (in Urdu), Population Welfare Division, Government of Pakistan, 1987.
14. See No. 6 above, p. 57.
15. Al-Qur'an, Eng. Trans. Yusuf Ali, Qatar ed., 23:12-14.
16. Ibid., 22:5.
17. See No. 6 above.
18. Ibn-Abidin, Al-Hadiyyah al-'alaiyyah, 3rd edition (Damascus, 1965).
19. Ibn Juzayyah, Kitab al-qawanin al-Fiqhiyyah, (Fez: Mataba al Nahda, 1953).
20. Gupte, P., The Crowded Earth, People and Politics of Population (New York: W.W. Norton and Co., 1984), p. 349.
21. Ibid.
22. See no. 9 above.

In Law Issues

In-Law Issues

Disastrous Daughter-In-Law
Resolving the Conflict Between Wives and Their In-Laws
By Saleeha Bhamjee
This article first appeared in the Muslim Woman Magazine
Saaleha Bhamjee is a freelance writer based in South Africa. Her writings have appeared in various print and online publications both locally and abroad. She is an Islamic Writer's Alliance member.

It's a syndrome that we daughters-in-laws all suffer from at times. Disastrous is exactly what it is, for it obstructs peace and harmony in every family where the daughter-in-law manifests symptoms. For some of us it's a passing phase, like passing from adolescence to adulthood, while for others adulthood never comes, so the syndrome becomes chronic and general unhappiness is always the result thereof.
Because I received a fair amount of flak after publishing "Peace in Our Times: Mother- & Daughter-in-Law Syndrome" last month and had a good many daughters-in-law smiling benignly at their mothers-in-law when they shrewdly showed them the article, I felt a crying need to explore the other side of the coin.
"My Parents Are Better than Yours"
And what exactly is this "Disastrous Daughter-in-Law Syndrome" that I have just referred to? It starts with a belief that your in-laws are never good. Quite honestly, there is nothing good in them at all. You're always comparing them to your own parents, loudly and always in the presence of their son, with the express purpose of showing him just how inadequate his parents really are. You make a huge fuss of anything your parents give to you or your children, and even though you never vocalize it, the underlying meaning is "See, my parents love the children more than yours do!" If your in-laws send a gift, your ccomments are usually anything but kind.
You would gladly empty your entire house for your own parents, but if your in-laws request anything from their son, you get angry. It's an ongoing competition.
My parents are better than yours; my brother is handsomer than yours; my sisters bake better than yours; my cousins are friendlier than yours; my mother's house is cleaner than your mother's house; our children love my parents more than they do yours; my mother's cat is prettier than your mother's cat, and so on.

"Annoying, isn't it?" That's probably what most husbands would say. Depending on how fiercely loyal your husband is to his family, the results of this continuous battle will vary. Some men eventually succumb. They declare a cease-fire, promise never to mention anything good about their parents ever after, and are only too glad to spend every weekend thereafter at your parents' place, visiting their own parents only once every two months.
For other men, such behavior becomes an open declaration of war. They begin to keep you and the children away from your parents and insist that you spend every weekend thereafter at their parents' place, much to your ire.
So is there a solution?
Well, this is my well-tried remedy that has worked for me. The rules are as follows:
1. Grow up. Such behavior is decidedly immature.
2. Accept your in-laws as your own parents. You have them to thank for the wonderful man who has become your life partner.
3. Praise them often in the presence of your husband, family, and friends. That way, even though you haven't grown to like them as of yet, you will in time.
4. Realize that they are also humans. They have their faults. You would never disown your parents for their flaws, so how can you expect the same from your husband's parents?
5. Lower your expectations. As much as you might feel that marriage is a huge adjustment for you, having their son married is an adjustment for them, too. Their son no longer belongs exclusively to them. You all will now have to learn to share.
6. Treat them respectfully. A bad word creates a permanent rift.
7. Be thankful, rather than jealous, when your children show them love. Would you deprive your own children of the love of their grandparents, confining them only to the love of your own parents because of jealousy? How would you feel if your brother's wife did the same with your own parents?
8. Do all you can to make them feel at home when they come by for a visit. You would do the same for your own parents, no doubt.
9. Never speak ill of them in the presence of your children. If they have overstepped their boundaries, discuss this in private with your husband.
10. Never drag your husband into an argument between your mother-in-law and yourself. By doing this, you place your husband in a very precarious position. Should you have any issue you need to address with your mother-in-law, do so in a respectful manner. By holding mature adult discussions, an amicable agreement can be reached.
11. Instead of demanding, be a giver. Always remember that it is sheer folly to always go around demanding that your rights be fulfilled. Rather, concentrate on fulfilling the rights of others. In so doing, you will find that those around you will automatically begin to fulfill your rights.
12. Recompense comes from Allah. Give and give and don't ever expect something in return. Always remember that the best recompense is always from Allah. Allah says [And what is the reward of good except good?] (Ar-Rahman 55:60).
Now, mother-in-law, pick up that phone and call your daughter-in-law. It's time to get your own back. Provided, of course, that you took the advice for mothers-in-law given the last time around

TOP TEN MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT ISLAM

TOP TEN MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT ISLAM

By Huma Ahmad


MISCONCEPTION #1:
Muslims are violent, terrorists and/or extremists.


This is the biggest misconception in Islam, no doubt resulting from
the constant stereotyping and bashing the media gives Islam. When a
gunman attacks a mosque in the name of Judaism, a Catholic IRA
guerrilla sets off a bomb in an urban area, or Serbian Orthodox
militiamen rape and kill innocent Muslim civilians, these acts are not
used to stereotype an entire faith. Never are these acts attributed
to the religion of the perpetrators. Yet how many times have we heard
the words 'Islamic, Muslim fundamentalist. etc.' linked with violence.

Politics in so called "Muslim countries" may or may not have any
Islamic basis. Often dictators and politicians will use the name of
Islam for their own purposes. One should remember to go to the source
of Islam and separate what the true religion of Islam says from what
is portrayed in the media. Islam literally means 'submission to God'
and is derived from a root word meaning 'peace'.

Islam may seem exotic or even extreme in the modern world. Perhaps
this is because religion doesn't dominate everyday life in the West,
whereas Islam is considered a 'way of life' for Muslims and they make
no division between secular and sacred in their lives. Like
Christianity, Islam permits fighting in self-defense, in defense of
religion, or on the part of those who have been expelled forcibly
from their homes. It lays down strict rules of combat which include
prohibitions against harming civilians and against destroying crops,
trees and livestock.

NOWHERE DOES ISLAM ENJOIN THE KILLING OF INNOCENTS.. The Quran says:
"Fight in the cause of God against those who fight you, but do not
transgress limits. God does not love transgressors." (Quran 2:190)
"If they seek peace, then seek you peace. And trust in God for He is
the One that heareth and knoweth all things." (Quran 8:61) War,
therefore, is the last resort, and is subject to the rigorous
conditions laid down by the sacred law. The term 'jihad' literally
means 'struggle'. Muslims believe that there are two kinds of jihad.
The other 'jihad' is the inner struggle of the soul which everyone
wages against egotistic desires for the sake of attaining inner
peace.



MISCONCEPTION #2:
Islam oppresses women.

The image of the typical Muslim woman wearing the veil and forced to
stay home and forbidden to drive is all too common in most peoples
thoughts. Although some Muslim countries may have laws that oppress
women, this should not be seen as coming from Islam. Many of these
countries do not rule by any kind of Shari'ah (Islamic law) and
introduce their own cultural standpoints on the issue of gender
equity.

Islam on the other hand gives men and women different roles and equity
between the two is laid down in the Quran and the example of the
Prophet (peace be upon him). Islam sees a woman, whether single or
married, as an individual in her own right, with the right to own and
dispose of her property and earnings. A marriage gift is given by
the groom to the bride for her own personal use, and she keeps her
own family name rather than taking her husband's. Both men and women
are expected to dress in a way that is modest and dignified. The
Messenger of God (peace be upon him) said: "The most perfect in faith
amongst believers is he who is best in manner and kindest to his
wife."

Violence of any kind towards women and forcing them against their
will for anything is not allowed. A Muslim marriage is a simple, legal
agreement in which either partner is free to include conditions.
Marriage customs thus vary widely from country to country. Divorce is
not common, although it is acceptable as a last resort. According to
Islam, a Muslim girl cannot be forced to marry against her will: her
parents simply suggest young men they think may be suitable.



MISCONCEPTION #3:
Muslims worship a different God.

Allah is simply the Arabic word for God. Allah for Muslims is the
greatest and most inclusive of the Names of God, it is an Arabic word
of rich meaning, denoting the one and only God and ascribing no
partners to Him. It is exactly the same word which the Jews, in
Hebrew, use for God (eloh), the word which Jesus Christ used in
Aramaic when he prayed to God. God has an identical name in Judaism,
Christianity, and Islam; Allah is the same God worshiped by Muslims,
Christians and Jews. Muslims believe that Allah's sovereignty is to
be acknowledged in worship and in the pledge to obey His teaching and
commandments, conveyed through His messengers and prophets who were
sent at various times and in many places throughout history.
However, it should be noted that God in Islam is One and Only. He,
the Exalted, does not get tired, does not have a son ie Jesus or
have associates, nor does He have human-like attributions as found in
other faiths.


MISCONCEPTION #4:
Islam was spread by the sword and intolerant of other faiths.


Many social studies textbooks for students show the image of an Arab
horseman carrying a sword in one hand and the Quran in the other
conquering and forcibly converting. This, though, is not a correct
portrayal of history. Islam has always given respect and freedom of
religion to all faiths. The Quran says: "God forbids you not, with
regards to those who fight you not for [your] faith nor drive you out
of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them; for God
loveth those who are just. 60:8)

Freedom of religion is laid down in the Quran itself: "There is no
compulsion (or coercion) in the religion (Islam). The right
direction is distinctly clear from error". (2:256) Christian
missionary, T.W. Arnold had this opinion on his study of the question
of the spread of Islam: ".. of any organized attempt to force the
acceptance of Islam on the non-Muslim population, or of any
systematic persecution intended to stamp out the Christian religion,
we hear nothing. Had the caliphs chosen to adopt either course of
action, they might have swept away Christianity as easily as
Ferdinand and Isabella drove Islam out of Spain, or Louis XIV made
Protestanism ..."

It is a function of Islamic law to protect the privileged status of
minorities, and this is why non-Muslim places of worship have
flourished all over the Islamic world. History provides many
examples of Muslim tolerance towards other faiths: when the caliph
Omar entered Jerusalem in the year 634, Islam granted freedom of
worship to all religious communities in the city. Proclaiming to the
inhabitants that their lives, and property were safe, and that their
places of worship would never be taken from them, he asked the
Christian patriarch Sophronius to accompany him on a visit to all the
holy places. Islamic law also permits non-Muslim minorities to set up
their own courts, which implement family laws drawn up by the
minorities themselves. The life and property of all citizens in an
Islamic state are considered sacred whether the person is Muslim or
not.

Racism is not a part of Islam, the Quran speaks only of human equality
and how all peoples are equal in the sight of God. "O mankind! We
created you from a single soul, male and female, and made you into
nations and tribes, so that you may come to know one another. Truly,
the most honored of you in God's sight is the greatest of you in
piety. God is All-Knowing, All- Aware. (49:13)



MISCONCEPTION #5:
All Muslims are Arabs


The Muslim population of the world is around 1.2 billion. 1 out of 5
people in the world is a Muslim. They are a vast range of races,
nationalities, and cultures from around the globe--from the
Phillipines to Nigeria--they are united by their common Islamic faith.
Only about 18% live in the Arab world and the largest Muslim
community is in Indonesia. Most Muslims live east of Pakistan. 30%
of Muslims live in the Indian subcontinent, 20% in Sub-Saharan Africa,
17% in Southeast Asia, 18% in the Arab world, and 10% in the Soviet
Union and China. Turkey, Iran and Afghanistan make up 10% of the
non-Arab Middle East. Although there are Muslim minorities in almost
every area, including Latin America and Australia, they are most
numerous in Russia and its newly independent states, India and
central Africa. There are about 6 million Muslims in the United
States



MISCONCEPTION #6:
The Nation of Islam is a Muslim group.


Islam and the so called "Nation of Islam'" are two different
religions. NOI is more of a political organization since its members
are not limited to a single faith. Muslims consider this group to be
just one of many cults using the name of Islam for their own gain.
The only thing common between them is the jargon, the language used
by both. "The Nation of Islam" is a misnomer; this religion should be
called Farrakhanism, after the name of its propogator, Louis Farrakhan.

Islam and Farakhanism differ in many fundamental ways. For example,
Farakhan followers believe in racism and that the 'black man' was the
original man and therefore superior, while in Islam there is no
racism and everyone is considered equal in the sight of God, the only
difference being in one's piety. There are many other theological
examples that show the 'Nation's teachings have little to do with
true Islam. There are many groups in America who claim to represent
Islam and call their adherents Muslims.

Any serious student of Islam has a duty to investigate and find the
true Islam. The only two authentic sources which bind every Muslim
are 1. the Quran and 2. authentic or sound Hadith. Any teachings under
the label of "Islam" which contradict or at variance with the direct
understanding of fundamental beliefs and practices of Islam form the
Quran and authentic Hadith should be rejected and such a religion
should be considered a Pseudo-Islamic Cult. In America there are many
pseudo-Islamic cults, Farrakhanism being one of them. An honest
attitude on the part of such cults should be not to call themselves
Muslims and their religion Islam. such an example of honesty is
Bahaism which is an off-shoot of Islam but Bahais do not call
themselves Muslims nor their religion, Islam. In fact Bahaism is not
Islam just as Farrakhanism is not Islam.



MISCONCEPTION #7:
All Muslim men marry four wives.


The religion of Islam was revealed for all societies and all times and
so accommodates widely differing social requirements. Circumstances
may warrant the taking of another wife but the right is granted,
according to the Quran, only on condition that the husband is
scrupulously fair. No woman can be forced into this kind of marriage
if they do not wish it, and they also have the right to exclude it in
their marriage contract.

Polygamy is neither mandatory, nor encouraged, but merely permitted.
Images of "sheikhs with harems" are not consistent with Islam, as a
man is only allowed at most four wives only if he can fulfill the
stringent conditions of treating each fairly and providing each with
separate housing etc. Permission to practice polygamy is not
associated with mere satisfaction of passion. It is rather
associated with compassion toward widows and orphans. It was the
Quran that limited and put conditions on the practice of polygamy
among the Arabs, who had as many as ten or more wives and considered
them "property".

It is both honest and accurate to say that it is Islam that regulated
this practice, limited it, made it more humane, and instituted equal
rights and status for all wives. What the Qur'anic decrees amount to,
taken together is discouragement of polygamy unless necessity for it
exists. It is also evident that the general rule in Islam is monogamy
and not polygamy. It is a very tiny percentage of Muslims that
practice it over the world. However, permission to practice limited
polygamy is only consistent with Islam's realistic view of the nature
of man and woman and of various social needs, problems and cultural
variations.

The question is, however far more than the inherent flexibility of
Islam; it also is the frank and straightforward approach of Islam in
dealing with practical problems. Rather than requiring hypocritical
and superficial compliance, Islam delves deeper into the problems of
individuals and societies, and provides for legitimate and clean
solutions which are far more beneficial than would be the case if they
were ignored. There is no doubt that the second wife legally married
and treated kindly is better off than a mistress without any legal
rights or expermanence.



MISCONCEPTION #8:
Muslims are a barbaric, backward people.


Among the reasons for the rapid and peaceful spread of Islam was the
simplicity of its doctrine-Islam calls for faith in only one God
worthy of worship. It also repeatedly instructs man to use his
powers of intelligence and observation. Within a few years, great
civilizations and universities were flourishing, for according to the
Prophet (pbuh), 'seeking knowledge is an obligation for every Muslim
man and woman'.

The synthesis of Eastern and Western ideas and of new thought with
old, brought about great advances in medicine, mathematics, physics,
astronomy, geography, architecture, art, literature, and history.
Many crucial systems such as algebra, the Arabic numerals, and also
the concept of the zero (vital to the advancement of mathematics),
were transmitted to medieval Europe from Islam. Sophisticated
instruments which were to make possible the European voyages of
discovery were developed, including the astrolabe, the quadrant and
good navigational maps.



MISCONCEPTION #9:
Muhammad was the founder of Islam and Muslims worship him.


Muhammad(pbuh) was born in Mecca in the year 570. Since his father
died before his birth, and his mother shortly afterwards, he was
raised by his uncle from the respected tribe of Quraysh. As he grew
up, he became known for his truthfulness, generosity and sincerity, so
that he was sought after for his ability to arbitrate in disputes.
The historians describe him as calm and meditative. Muhammad (pbuh)
was of a deeply religious nature, and had long detested the decadence
of his society.

It became his habit to meditate from time to time in the Cave of Hira
near Mecca. At the age of 40, while engaged in a meditative retreat,
Muhammad(pbuh) received his first revelation from God through the
Angel Gabriel. This revelation, which continued for 23 years is
known as the Quran. As soon as he began to recite the words he heard
from Gabriel, and to preach the truth which God had revealed to him,
he and his small group of followers suffered bitter persecution,
which grew so fierce that in the year 622 God gave them the command to
emigrate.

This event, the Hijra 'migration', in which they left Mecca for the
city of Medina, marks the beginning of the Muslim calendar. After
several years, the Prophet and his followers were able to return to
Mecca, where they forgave their enemies and established Islam
definitively. Before the Prophet saw dies at the age of 63, the
greater part of Arabia was Muslim, and within a century of his death
Islam had spread to Spain in the West and as far East as China. He
died with less than 5 possessions to his name.

While Muhammad (pbuh) was chosen to deliver the message, he is not
considered the "founder" of Islam, since Muslims consider Islam to be
the same divine guidance sent to all peoples before. Muslims believe
all the prophets from Adam, Noah, Moses, Jesus etc. were all sent
with divine guidance for their peoples. Every prophet was sent to his
own people, but Muhammad(pbuh) was sent to all of mankind. Muhammad
is the last and final messenger sent to deliver the message of Islam.
Muslims revere and honor him (pbuh) for all he went through and his
dedication, but they do not worship him. "O Prophet, verily We have
sent you as a witness and a bearer of glad tidings and a warner and
as one who invites unto God by His leave and as an illuminating
lamp."(33:45-6)



MISCONCEPTION #10:
Muslims don't believe in Jesus or any other prophets.


Muslims respect and revere Jesus, upon him be peace, and await his
Second Coming. They consider him one of the greatest of God's
messengers to mankind. A Muslim never refers to him simply as
'Jesus', but always adds the phrase 'upon him be peace' (abbreviated
as (u) here). The Quran confirms his virgin birth (a chapter of the
Quran is entitled 'Mary'), and Mary is considered the purest woman in
all creation. The Quran describes the Annunciation as follows:

"Behold!" the Angel said, "God has chosen you, and purified you, and
chosen you above the women of all nations. O Mary, God gives you
good news of a word from Him whose name shall be the Messiah, Jesus
son of Mary, honored in this world and the Hereafter, and one of those
brought near to God. He shall speak to the people from his cradle and
in maturity, and shall be of the righteous." She said: "O my Lord!
How shall I have a son when no man has touched me?" He said: "Even
so; God creates what He will. When He decrees a thing, He says to it,
"Be!" and it is" (Quran 3:42-47)

Jesus (u) was born miraculously through the same power, which had
brought Adam (u) into being without a father: "Truly, the likeness of
Jesus with God is as the likeness of Adam. He created him of dust,
and then said to him, 'Be!' and he was." (3:59) During his prophetic
mission Jesus (u) performed many miracles. The Quran tells us that he
said: " I have come to you with a sign from your Lord: I make for you
out of clay, as it were, the figure of a bird, and breath into it
and it becomes a bird by God's leave. And I heal the blind, and the
lepers, and I raise the dead by God's leave." (3:49) Neither Muhammad
(pbuh) not Jesus (u) came to change the basic doctrine of the brief in
One God brought by earlier prophets, but to confirm and renew it.

In the Quran Jesus (u) is reported as saying that he came: "To attest
the law which was before me. And to make lawful to you part of what
was forbidden you; I have come to you with a sign from your Lord, so
fear God and obey Me. (3:50) The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said:
"Whoever believes there is no god but God, alone without partner,
that Muhammad (pbuh) is His messenger, that Jesus is the servant and
messenger of God, His word breathed into Mary and a spirit emanating
from Him, and that Paradise and Hell are true, shall be received by
God into Heaven. "(Hadith related by Bukhari).
Some more Misconceptions on Islam - good info page


Sources:

(Islam: A Brief Introduction, Islamic Circle of North America,
Jamaica, New York)

(Understanding Islam and the Muslims, The Islamic Affairs Department
The Embassy of Saudi Arabia, Washington DC, 1989.)

(Badawi, Jamal, Polygamy in Islamic Law, The Muslim Students'
Association of the United States & Canada,)

(Islam and Farrakhanism Compared, The Institute of Islamic Information
and Education, Chicago, Illinois)

(Jihad Explained, The Institute of Islamic Information & Education,
Chicago, Illinois)

Concept of God

Assalamalaikum to my dear respected Brothers and Sisters In Islam.

I pray and hope you are all well, happy, and at Peace, If this greeting doesn't then the following article will :))))))))))))


Who is above Us All ( He is above Us all, no one is above Him ) ? Who can Only Help Us ?
And is there for Us Always when we need Help :)





The question of God's existence has preoccupied men's minds for many centuries. Those who believe in God seem to agree that the limited finite human intelligence cannot prove the existence of the infinite boundless God. It can only illustrate or demonstrate his existence to the satisfaction of the curious human mind.

Those who deny God claim to rely on science, philosophy, or special theories of knowledge. Their arguments are sometimes inapplicable, sometimes irrelevant, always complex, and often incomprehensible. However, the developed mind will find its way to Allah. Failure to find the way does not mean that there is no way. Denial of reality does not make it unreal.

As we look around in our environments, we see that every family has a head: every school has a principal, every city or town has a mayor; every province or state has a premier/governor; and every nation has a head of state. Moreover, we know beyond doubt that every beautiful art is the creation of some great artist. All this is obvious, yet it does not satisfy the hunger for knowledge and the curiosity of man about the great things in the world. One often wonders at the beauties of nature with its scenic charm and marvels; the almost endless horizons in the sky and their far-reaching expansions; the ceaseless succession of day and night in the most orderly manner; the course of the sun, the moon, and the great stars; the world of animate and inanimate objects, the continuous process and evolution of man, generation after generation. One often wonders because one would like to know the maker and maintainer of all these things with which we live and which we immensely enjoy.

Can we find an explanation of the great universe? Is there any convincing interpretation of the secret of existence? We realise that no family can function properly without a responsible head, that no city can prosperously exist without sound administration, and that no state can survive without a chief of some kind.

We also realise that nothing comes into being on its own. Moreover we observe that the universe exists and functions in the most orderly manner, and that it has survived for hundreds of thousands of years. Can we, then, say that all this is accidental and haphazard? Or can we attribute the existence of man and the whole world to mere chance?

If man were to come into being by accident or by sheer chance, his entire life would be based on chance, and his whole existence would be meaningless, and no rational being would leave his existence at the mercy of fluctuating chance. Every reasonable human being tries to make his life as meaningful as possible and set for himself a model of conduct according to some design. Individuals, groups and nations do plan their course of action. And every careful plan produces some desired effects. The fact of the matter is that man does engage in planning of one sort or another, and can appreciate the merits of good planning.

Yet man represents only a very small portion of the great universe. And if he can make plans and appreciate the merits of planning, then his own existence and the survival of the universe must also be based on a planned policy. This means that there is a Designing Will behind our material existence, and that there is a Unique Mind in the world to bring things into being and keep them moving in order. The marvellous wonders of our world and the secrets of life are too great to be the product of random accident or mere chance.

In the world, then there must be a Great Force in action to keep everything in order.

In the beautiful nature there must be a Great Artist who creates the most charming pieces of art and produces everything for a special purpose in life. This Force is the strongest of all forces, and this Artist is the greatest of all artists. The true believers and deeply enlightened people recognise this Artist and call Him Allah ( His True and Real Name ) or God. They call Him God because He is the Creator and the Chief Architect of the world, the Originator of life and the Provider of all things in existence. He is not a man because no man can create or make another man. He is not an animal, nor is He a plant. He is neither an idol nor is He a statue of any kind because none of these things can make itself or create anything else. He is not a machine. He is neither the sun nor is He the moon or any other star, because these things are controlled by a great system, and are themselves made by someone else. He is different from all these things, because He is the Maker and Keeper of them all. The maker of anything must be different from and greater than the thing which he makes. We also know that nothing can come to life on its own, and that the marvellous world did not create itself or come into existence by accident. The continuous changes in the world prove that it is made and everything which is made must have a maker of some sort.

The Maker and Sustainer of the world, the Creator of and Provider for man, the Active Force and Effective Power in nature are all one and the same, and that is known to be Allah or God. This is the secret of all secrets and the Most Supreme of all beings. The Holy Qu'ran, the True Book of God say's:

"Belief in God and His great power alone can provide mankind with the best Possible explanation of many mysterious things in life. This is the safest way to true knowledge and spiritual insight, the right path to good behaviour and sound morals, the surest guide to happiness and prosperity.

Once man believes that God exists he must know His attributes and names. Generally speaking every perfection and absolute goodness belong to Him, and no defect or wrong applies to Him. In specific terms, one should know and believe the following:

1. God is only One, has no partner or son, and neither gives birth, nor is He born. He is eternally besought by all and has no beginning or end, and none is equal to Him ( Holy Qu'ran )

2. He is the Merciful and the Compassionate, the Guardian and the True Guide, the Just and the Supreme Lord, the Creator and the Watchful, the First and the Last, the knowing and the Wise, the Hearing, and the Aware, the Witness and the Glorious, the Able and ' the Powerful. ( Holy Qu'ran example )

3. He is the Loving and the Provider, the Generous and the Benevolent, the Rich and the Independent, the Forgiving and the Clement, the Patient and the Appreciative, the unique and the Protector, the Judge and the Peace. ( Holy Qu'ran example )

Each one of these names and attributes of God is mentioned in various places in the Holy Qu'ran. We all enjoy the care and mercy of God Who is so Loving and Kind to His creation. If we try to count His favours upon us, we cannot, because they are countless ( Holy Qu'ran )

God is High and Supreme, but he is very near to the pious thoughtful people; He answers their prayers and helps them. He loves the people who love Him and forgives their sins. He gives them peace and happiness, knowledge and success, life and protection. He welcomes all those who want to be at peace with Him and never rejects any of them. He teaches man to be good, to do the right and to keep away from the wrong. Because He is so Good and Loving. He recommends and accepts only the good and right things. The door of His mercy is always open to any who sincerely seek His support and protection. ( Holy Qu'ran )

The Love of God for His creatures is immense and beyond human imagination. We cannot measure or count His favours. He creates us and takes good care of us, not only from the time of our birth onward, but even long before that. He makes us in the best form of creation and gives us all the senses and faculties that we need for our growth. He helps us when we cannot help ourselves, and provides for us and for our dependents. He creates in man the mind to understand, the soul and conscience to be good and righteous, the feelings and sentiments to be kind and humane.

By His mercy we gain true knowledge and see the real light. Because He is Merciful He creates us in the most beautiful shape and provides us with the sun and the moon, the land and the sea, the earth and the skies, the plants and the animals. He is the Creator of all these things and many others for our benefit and use. He makes things that are of service to us in this life, and gives man dignity and intelligence, honour and respect, because man is the best of all created things and is God's viceroy on earth.

The mercy O god gives us hope and peace, courage and confidence. It enables us to remedy our griefs and sorrows, to overcome our difficulties and obtain success and happiness. Indeed, the mercy of God relieves the distressed, cheers the afflicted, consoles the sick, strengthens the desperate, and comforts the needy. In short, the mercy of God is active everywhere all the time in every aspect of our lives. Some people may fail to recognise it only because they take it for granted. But it is real and we can feel it with our hearts and appreciate it with our minds.

The Loving Merciful God never forgets us or lets us down or ignores our sincere calls upon Him. By His Mercy and Love He has shown us the Right Way and sent to us messengers and teachers, books and revelations - all are meant for our help and guidance. The last Messenger from God is Muhammad ( SAW ), and the most genuine existing book of Allah is the Qu'ran. From the traditions of Muhammad ( SAW ) and the teachings of the Qu'ran, we learn about the Forgiving God. If a person commits a sin or does something wrong, then he is violating the law of God, committing a grave offence against God and abusing his own dignity and existence. But if he is sincere and wishes to repent, regrets his wrong deeds and wants to return to God, faithfully seeks pardon from God and honestly approaches him, then God will certainly accept him and forgive him. Even those who reject God or his Oneness are assured of forgiveness, should they realise there erroneous attitude and resolve to come back to God. In this connection the Qu'ran say's:

"God forgives not that partnership should be setup with him; but He forgives anything else, to whom he pleases and; to setup partners with God is to devise a sin most heinous indeed. ( Qu'ran )

"Say oh my servants who have transgressed against their souls! despair not the mercy of God: for God forgives all sins: for he is most forgiving, most merciful. Turn to your Lord ( in repentance ) and submit to him, before the penalty comes on you; after that you shall not be helped. And follow the best of the courses revealed to you from your Lord, before the penalty comes on you on a sudden while you perceive not !" ( Qu'ran )

In return for all these great favours and kindness God does not need anything from us, because He is the needless and the independent. He does not ask us to pay him back, for we cannot reward him or value his immeasurable favours and mercy. What He commands us to do, however, is only to be good, to be thankful and to be appreciative, to follow his recommendations and in force his law, to be the proper manifestation of his goodness and excellent attributes, to be his honest agents and true representatives on earth.

He does not want to enslave us because he is the One who grants us dignity and honour. He does not wish to subjugate us, because He is One who is emancipates us from fear and superstitions. He does not desire to humiliate us because He is the One who creates us and exalts our ranks above all other beings. So whatever rules and prescriptions He passes unto us are designed for our own benefit and good. They are meant to help us enjoy our lives with one another in Peace and Kindness, in brotherhood and co-operation. They are destined to make us attain his most pleasant company and adopt the surest approach to Eternal Happiness in life after death.

There are various ways to know God and there are many things to tell about him. The Great wonders and impressive marvels of the world are like open books in which we can read about God. Besides, God Himself comes to our Aid through the many messengers and revelations He has sent down to man. These messengers and revelations tell us everything we need to know about God. So by reflecting on nature, by hearing the words of the messengers, and by reading the Divine revelations we can gain most convincing knowledge about God and find the Straight Path to Him.

The aforesaid discussion brings forth the following facts:

1. There is God. He is ONE.
2. He is the creator, sustainer and provider of this universe
and there is no partners unto Him.

3. He is the One and the Only One who can guide us in the
Right Path in all walks of our life. It is in following His
guidance the success and salvation of man, Here and in
the Hereafter lies, says the Qu'ran:


"Allah Himself bears witness that there is no God but He and likewise do the Angels and the men possessed of knowledge bear witness in truth and justice that there is no God but He the Almighty the All-Wise". ( 3: 18 Holy Qu'ran )


"Say, 'God's guidance is the ( only ) Guidance And we have been directed to submit ourselves to the Lord of the Worlds" ( 6: 71 Holy Qu'ran )


Now it is the duty of everyone of us to acknowledge Him, acquire the Knowledge of His guidance and lead a life of complete submission to His guidance.

If We don't we are the Only Losers Here, We Must hold on to the Rope Of Allah Firmly, and never let go :)))))))))))))))))

















Back to Path to Jannah ...

Introducing Islam

Introducing Islam
Maulana Wahiduddin Khan

All Praise is Due to God

One of the important teachings of Islam is that on receiving anything, we should be grateful to God in acknowledgment of His bounty, and utter these words ‘All praise and thankfulness is due to God, the Lord of the Worlds.’ Praise of God, in its true spirit, is the essence of the Qur’an. After having accepted Islam, a believer’s inmost feelings find expression in these words of praise.

Man’s existence is a blessing of God. Man’s extremely balanced body is a blessing of God. The entire world created so favorably for man is a blessing of God.

When this reality dawns on man and he realizes God’s immeasurable blessings upon him, his soul is filled with a feeling of gratefulness to God. His heart and mind are overawed by His greatness. At that moment words of acknowledgment of God—‘Praise be to God, Lord of the Worlds’ spontaneously come to his lips.

God the Almighty is too great for man to give Him anything. The only thing man can offer in His presence is acknowledgment. The moment of man's greatest worship of God is when his soul is pervaded by God’s glory and greatness; when he recognizes God’s divinity as compared to man's servitude; when, in full awareness of his own helplessness, he comes to acknowledge God’s bounties in the true sense of the word.

When man discovers God with all His attributes, his soul lies prostrate before Him. His whole being turns towards God. The feelings inspired in him by God’s bounties surge within him like the waves of the ocean.

When all these feelings find verbal form, they are called praise and gratefulness to God.

God is the greatest being of the universe. Yet, in a universe visible to all, God’s supreme glory remains invisible. Realization of God is to discover this hidden greatness. This realization finds expression in words such as ‘Praise be to God—Lord of the Worlds.’

May God Reward You

One of the teachings of Islam is that on receiving some gift or benefit from another, one should pray that God may reward the giver handsomely. Acknowledging a gift with the words: "May God reward you," not only expresses a high form of regard for the giver, but also testifies to the fact that God alone has it in His power to give rewards. When the recipient of a favor says to God on behalf of his benefactor: "O God, help him as he has helped me, and give him more than he has given me," this demonstrates an even higher form of regard.

The phrase 'May God reward you,’ is expressive of two virtues, one being gratitude and the other being the willingness to give as well as to take. Its utterance emphasizes the principle that one should be a giver as well as a taker. A man should always be at pains to benefit those who have benefited him. He should be so thankful to his benefactor that he starts praying for them. A genuinely heart-felt prayer is the best gift that a man can give to his fellow-men.

Insha Allah (God Willing)

One of the teachings of Islam is that when we undertake a task, we should start by saying, ‘Insha Allah,’—God willing. According to the Qur’an, the owners of a certain orchard made it known that they intended to pluck its fruits as soon as they were ripe. But they added no reservation such as: ‘If it be God’s will.’ When they reached their orchard the next morning, they found that a God-sent calamity had destroyed their entire crop. This was the result of their having omitted to say ‘God willing’ (68:18).

God willing (Insha Allah) is a phrase of great significance. Islam teaches us that whenever a man is going to embark upon any venture, he should say, ‘if God wills’ before he begins. This is to acknowledge the reality that God alone is the Doer in this world. A person can achieve his ends successfully only when God’s blessings are with him. God alone has the power to make things happen, as everything functions according to His will. Man can only wish for certain happenings, but occurrence rests with God alone.

When man thinks seriously of God’s all-powerfulness and his own total helplessness, such feelings find expression in the words, ‘Insha Allah.’ In this way he acknowledges that he can only make a beginning. So far as the completion of the task is concerned, it lies entirely in God’s hands.

The phrase Insha Allah in its essence is a form of prayer. Beginning one’s work with Insha Allah is like seeking God’s company and when God, the Lord of the universe, accompanies us on our journey, who can stop us from reaching our destination?



Conveyance

To facilitate travel in this world, we have to use transport of one kind or another. Islam teaches us that when we make use of these different means of transport, we must remember God and say: ‘Glory to Him who has subjected these to us. But for Him we could never have accomplished this. To our Lord we shall return.’ (43:13-14)

One of God’s countless bounties to man is His provision of suitable conveyances. To meet different requirements man has to travel from one place to another. But he cannot traverse long distances on foot. God has therefore come to his aid and made certain things subject to him in order that he may utilize them as transport.

Initially, animals alone were the means of conveyance. Then man crossed the seas, making ships for travelling long distances. Investigations revealed that God had endowed matter with such properties that it could be fashioned into much more rapid forms of transport. Hence the motor car and the airplane came into existence.

All means of transportation, right from the horse to the airplanes, are blessings of God. If they were brought into being, it was entirely due to God having harnessed the potential of nature to human use. When man thinks of all these bounties showered upon him by God he spontaneously calls out: ‘O God, It is You who has subjected everything to us. It would not otherwise have been possible for us to make use of things as we have.’

Blessings are of benefit to the thankful person in this world as well

as in the next. All that a thankless person will receive is temporary provision in this world and eternal chastisement in the next.



Inna Lillah

It often happens in this world that man loses something, or suffers some calamity. On such occasions, Islam teaches us to willingly resign ourselves to our misfortune, taking that to be God’s decree. On all such occasions the sufferer should utter the words: ‘We belong to God and we shall return to Him.’

God has made this world for the purpose of putting mankind to the test. Here, receiving and losing are both designed as a trial for man. Therefore, when man receives something, he should prove himself to be a thankful servant of God. And when he loses something he should adopt the attitude of patience. Only one who can do so will pass God’s test.In this world man cannot save himself from experiencing unpleasant things. Sometimes he will suffer from the pangs of hunger and thirst, at others, a life very dear to him will pass away or he will incur a loss of wealth. On all such occasions these words must come to his lips...‘We belong to God and we shall all return to Him.’

Through these words man acknowledges his status of servitude vis à vis God’s all-powerfulness. He expresses himself in words such as these: O God, You are the giver. If You have taken something out of what You have given me, You had the right to do so.

Saying Inna Lillah is a form of worship. This is to adopt the attitude of surrendering to God’s will instead of complaining against fate. It is to convert the loss into a new discovery.

This phrase, ‘We are from God and to God we shall return’ is, in short, an acknowledgment of God's godhead on the part of His servants.



After Eating and Drinking

One of the teachings of Islam is to praise God, after satisfying one’s hunger and thirst, in words such as these: All praise is due to God who provided me with food and water, and who made me one of the believers.Man cannot survive without food and water. He requires these things continuously throughout his entire life. For man's requirements God has made perfect arrangements. On the one hand, He has provided water in abundance on the earth, on the other, He has provided ample nourishment which man can obtain with the minimum of effort.

When a believer is hungry and thirsty, and he eats and drinks, he is overwhelmed with the feeling of how great that God is who has made such splendid provision for him. If God had not done so, he would have suffered the pangs of hunger and thirst, having had to go without food and water. His whole body expresses his acknowledgment of God’s bounties and he calls out: Praise be to God for all of His abundant provisions!

On receiving bodily sustenance the believer is reminded of the spiritual sustenance provided for him by God. Through revelation God gave man the knowledge of what He wants from him, thus enabling him to lead us life according to His will and ensuring his success in the next eternal world. Man then remembers God with even greater adoration.Every moment of his life, man ought to keep praising God,—God, who has made the most superb provision for him, both physical as well as spiritual.



Rising from Sleep (The life after death)

The Prophet of Islam likened death to sleep and life to the state of wakefulness after sleep. When he awakened in the morning, he would say: "All praise and thanks are due to God who gave us life after death."For the rest of mankind, waking and sleeping are likewise symbolic of life and death. Going to sleep is like dying and waking up in the morning is like rising from the grave. Our inevitable awakening after sleeping foreshadows with certainty how we shall arise after death to give an account of our deeds on the Day of Judgement.

Man has to pass his life in this world in such a way that every happening becomes for him a reminder of the Day of Judgement. His sleeping and rising should also serve as reminders of life after death.The most delicate aspect of man’s life is that his existence does not come to an end after death. He has to be reborn in another world. The present world is the world of action, while the world to come will be one in which he reaps his reward. That will be the beginning of a new and eternal life—either eternal heaven or eternal hell.

Man is reminded daily of this most important reality when he goes to sleep and when he rises from sleep. In this way, actions of this world come to remind man of the hereafter.

The Prophet of Islam used to lead a very simple life and laid great stress on believers doing likewise. Once he said, "O people, don’t you hear me, O people, don’t you hear me, O people, don’t you hear me, ‘Simplicity is undoubtedly a part of faith.’ ‘Simplicity is undoubtedly a part of faith.’

When man has discovered the greatness of God, his own-existence in comparison appears quite insignificant. This feeling makes him into a truly modest person. His whole being is colored in the hue of servitude. His manner ceases to be aggressive and his voice becomes gentle. Even his gait expresses his modesty. His whole attitude comes to reflect a new seriousness.

All this inevitably results in his preferring simplicity in everything, in food, drink, living arrangements, and so on. He avoids luxuries, pomp and show. His soul finds pleasure and contentment in leading a life of simplicity instead of indulgence.

True faith leads man away from artificial things to nature, where simplicity is the rule. He develops a liking for a simple way of life which is more natural. This naturalness behooves the believer. Naturalness is in accordance with his modesty and humility, themselves great virtues in the eyes of God.
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